Going For the Gold

I imagine our potty training experience thus far to be something like a trip to the Winter Olympics.

We trained for months.

I poured over books and websites, bought underwear of every character and color of the rainbow and shamelessly grilled every parent of a child who was not walking around with a diaper bulging out of his or her pants.

Once my children gave our potty seat the remotest of a glance, we headed off to the games.

I, walking confidently ahead of my team, they, waving flags of Dora panties and Elmo underwear, proudly smiling to their stadium full of fans.  What dedicated fans they had, showering them with sticker charts and bribes and candy and toys from the dollar store, whatever morsel they could offer to make them hungry for a medal.

The competitors started off fast and furious, each eager to take home the gold and rot their teeth with every available token of encouragement.

Soon the athletes began to show their true form.

My daughter, quite the figure skater, twirled and glided, stopping every so often for a round of applause, bowing gracefully to her audience, elegantly wearing new costumes with slim lines and easy to remove waistbands.

My son, well he began on the ski slopes, a bit of a cross country skier.  He would travel along at a decent pace, of course with his eye always on the prize, a bit too busy for applause and perfectly happy wearing bulky attire.  Eventually he got a bit tired of cross country and decide to see what else was out there, venturing quickly downhill.  Rapidly he blew past the trail we had carefully created and had trained him to follow.  He tumbled and somersaulted, drenching all of his ski apparel in the process and creating quite a stink in his wake but, nonetheless, smiling the whole way down.  I, as his faithful coach, winced and rushed to his side, righting him again, cleaning up his trail and reminding him of our path.  We repeated this exercise many, many times until I realized that perhaps his interest in the gold had completely dissolved.

 

My son and I watched on as his sister took her place on the highest pedestal, our catchy little potty anthem playing overhead, and once the singing was over she proudly showed her brother the gold medallion she had received.  Unfazed by her glory, he sunk his teeth right in, checking for chocolate of course.  She huffed at his unsportsmanlike conduct and stomped away with her medal glimmering hopefully.

I am unsure of what my current record says about my coaching skills, one gold and one, um, honorable mention??  Regardless of my record, I am hoping to muster up the skill to coax my son into putting his skis back on before the baby is ready to compete, or at least before the Summer Games.

I have no interest in a triathlon.

 

Comments

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments

Comments

  1. says

    Independent film suppliers are proving that the main companies no more will be the only real judges of what consumers really want. After you additionally distribution world wide web news internet sites, from rumor to complete films. It really is a brand new planet. Much of it fine, some not.

  2. says

    Boy, do I have potty training stories (bribes, crap on my diningroom floor, tears, charts, pleads…). I think PTing is the best kind of birth control there is.

  3. Marjorie Robinson says

    I think that you have described the sport of Potty Training perfectly!

    Great blog… I am visiting from SITS!

    Make it a great day!

  4. Tim@sogeshirts says

    Potty training does not sound fun but this post was funny though. I winced too when your son drenched his ski apparel. Glad your daughter got the gold. Hopefully next time they all tie for gold.

    • says

      My daughter was SO much easier than my son has been and having her to model after has helped my son. Hopefully having two girls will be in your favor and they will sail through it.

  5. Elena @NaynaDub says

    Very funny post, Coach! I too am trying to potty train my 3yo who has NO interest whatsoever. I keep telling him no school next fall until this is all done but he wants none of it.

    • says

      You will be a pro by the time Carsyn is ready, hopefully we will both get lucky and our little boys will want to be like their big brothers and make it easy on us.

    • says

      Oh, that brings back BAD memories of training my oldest, her story would not have fit cutely into this analogy. I SO remember where you are at.

  6. says

    Great analogy! Brilliant in fact! You need to submit this somewhere! Somewhere in the blogosphere this post has a medal with its name on it!…see how I got the word medal in here too! It's destiny!

  7. Tonya says

    Oh, potty training is such a pain. My daughter took well over a year and didn't get it until just before she turned 4. Actually, she got it — she knew exactly what to do, she just wanted to make sure the world knew she was in change, and if she was playing and having fun, she just didn't want to take a break — but the good news is that once she was finished with potty training, she has not had accidents (even at night!). My son, on the other hand, took just a couple of months and he had it mastered. (He's always been the easy one, LOL.)

  8. Jean@MommyToTwoBoys says

    Potty training with my older son took so long that I am not even bothering to try with the little one. When he decides to sit and pee, I am there. Even if that means he doesn't potty train till age 10. I cleaned up poopy underwear for almost a year before my older one got it. Not ready to jump into that again any time soon.

  9. Dani G says

    You are so creative!! Potty training sucks. Bird still asks for a diaper to poop in. But with all her gut issues, I'm just glad she poops ;)

  10. says

    lol you know what I think about potty training and kids. ( i blogged about it as well) But here is my stance. With all 7 kids and I am finally down to one diaper booty, they did it when they were ready lol not when mom was ready. And I stuck with that for the first four kids. Then it was Racers turn and OMG that was the worst most horrible experience EVER. Its the two years I shall not speak about lol. Then of course when he was ready he got it. I doubted myself a lot when training Racer and I shouldn't have.

    So I wish you all the luck in the world!

Trackbacks