It all started when I emerged from the bathroom, drying the last child out of the tub.
My eyes began to water as I inhaled something that smelled chemicals-that-are-not-supposed-to-be-in-the-house-ish.
I entered the kitchen to find my son feather dusting the kitchen floor with leather conditioner.
And if that was not good enough, my little Sawyer, fresh from the tub and not even diapered, slid in a mysterious clear liquid in our dining room.
As I tried to pick him up I could not get ahold of him, he was too slippery.
He was slippery because he was rolling in TIRE WAX. ON. MY. WOOD. FLOOR.
How do these things happen? How do my children break into a child-proofed cabinet in five seconds and make a mess that could cause my house to spontaneously combust?
I have no idea.
All I know is that I cannot be alone, other children do these things right?
So to make the Disasters of Summer Vacation 2011 not seem so bad, I have created a contest for those of you with children like mine.
From July 18- July 29 link up a post with pictures of the worst disaster your children have ever created.
I have enlisted the help of two celebrity judges who also happen to be experts in the field of children-who-destroy-homes:
Natalie of Mommy of a Monster and Jen of Buried with Children
Once all link ups are in, Natalie and Jen will pick a winner who will receive a great prize courtesy of Shaklee products.
Get Clean® Household Mini Kit
I love Shaklee products and was so excited when Laura, an independent distributor, offered this kit to the well-deserving winner.
Messy children = a never ending need for cleaning supplies
So dig through your photos or keep your camera handy so that you can take a picture of your children’s latest masterpiece in between yelling “WHO. DID. THIS???” and finding the mop.
You will be able to link up your post July 18- July 29 (that should give your children enough time to do something really good, if they need inspiration I have no problem sending my son). The winner will be announced the following week.
Oooh what a fun linky! Can’t wait to see everyone’s messes heh heh
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..PR agencies, pay attention
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Hmmm- great idea. My tween’s room can get pretty messy in that clothes all over the floor, dirty dishes and food remains scattered around type of way. You know like a twenty something’s apartment who has been on a drunken bender for a few days.
That works! And I\’m sure she won\’t think it\’s remotely strange that you are taking a picture of it
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I have a cabinet breaker-inner as well. I am sure he (and Abbey) will be absolute angels until July 30th, just to be difficult
Twitter: angelaamman
I feel your pain! I have no idea how my 20 month old can open a child proof cabinet and I can’t ! Tire wax on the floor…ouch!
Barbara recently posted..Parenting Pet Peeve
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You would not believe how hard it was to get off, we had a slippery coating on the floor for ages, everyone was falling in our dining room. So fun.
Oh, do I have a picture you would not be expecting
By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Fabulous Facebook Friend of the Week blog hop!
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Yay, can\’t wait!!
Oh, kids are all sorts of awesome, aren’t they? I can’t wait for this!
Natalie recently posted..The CleverDuo Takes On The Evo Conference!
Oh they are, let me know if you ever need the secret to getting tire wax off a baby. So glad you are going to be a judge, can\’t wait!
Urgness – I hate contests I can’t participate in! Clearly I need to steal some children to have a chance at this title.
Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..Fish Like To Swim
Twitter: bestoffates
Shoot, you can participate. How about messy friends? Animals? If you don\’t have any options swing by next time you are in Michigan, I will have my kids ready.
Oh, I can’t wait!! What a great idea!
Jen recently posted..Forgotten Letters…
Oh my goodness. I am so thankful (and lucky) that my kids don’t make messes like that. I think the worst is a spilled drink or food item.
Yes, I’m knocking on wood, praying, and crossing my fingers that I didn’t just jinx myself.
Kmama recently posted..The iPhone vs. The Droid
You ARE lucky, how did you get those kinds of kids?
I’m trying to remember who had the kid who covered everything in Vase-o-line?!? Do you know who I’m talking about?
liz recently posted..I’m Late to the Type A Conference Party
I do but I can\’t remember who it was, I remember seeing it and thinking that would be something my kids would do. Shoot, now it\’s going to bug me.
Cue evil cackle of a laugh.
OH YES!
IT IS NOW YOUR TURN, LADIES!
I am loving this BIG TIME
Don’t mind me–I’ll just pull up a chair and watch the loveliness unfold.
Alexandra recently posted..You Know That You Want To Be Canadian
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You know we could use a third judge if you want to join in. Three would be perfect. Just like American Idol but without the record contract at the end.
Oh my lord. At least something entertaining will come out of the pain of you and so many others who deal with crazy kids! I can’t wait to see the fun.
Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Red Writing Hood: The Email
What a fun linkup! I love Shaklee products & my boys are very messy – so I’m in!
Twitter: NaynaDub
Two words for you: Gorilla Glue.
And two more: I win.
Or maybe: I lose. LMAO
Shell recently posted..Blog Friend Feature: The Mommy Matters
So funny, I was thinking the same. Is the winner actually the winner? For a few minutes yes but in the long run, we\’ve still got our leather waxed floor and you\’ve still got your Gorilla Glued couch.
Oh, this is such a fun idea! Not for our houses or sanity, but you know what I mean!
With 3 boys I’m destined to run into some kind of mess! I’m in!
Kimberly recently posted..The Joy of Girls
Twitter: MamasMonologues
Yay, this will be the only time ever everyone is hoping there kids do something.
Oh, poor you!
What a fun idea, though! I can’t wait to read about all the messy children out there. So far (KNOCK ON WOOD), Lucas hasn’t made a huge mess yet. He knocked over my purse once and I have found him in a pile of toilet paper, but that’s it. Maybe he will so I link up.
Tonya recently posted..Tackling Disneyland On My Own
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Oh I have two messy boys! Unfortunately when they do it I’m by myself and never get to take a photo of it…we’ll see what the next two weeks bring
Tina @ Life Without Pink recently posted..July Project Marriage Challenge: Date Night
So funny, for once everyone will be waiting for the disaster to happen.
Moe eats Jello with his hands. He can turn a cereal bar into a full body experience. This should be good…
Jennie B recently posted..Working Out Our PECS
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See, and for once you can win something for it
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Jessica recently posted..My Kids Are the Messiest
Another awesome idea Jessica!!
Leighann recently posted..OH Canada! One More Year….
This is going to be awesome! I can’t wait to see them all!
Does a 2 year old clogging the toilet & it taking EIGHT days to get it unclogged count as a disaster?! Because that’s what it felt like!
Kate recently posted..What I Grow Part 2
Twitter: mommymonologues
Of course that counts as a disaster, as long as you have a picture to prove it
.
What a fun idea for a contest! I am truly sorry about your floors and child, though! Hope your weekend is better!
Jenny recently posted..My Friend with Autism GIVEAWAY!
Oh, what a cool linky! I like the idea a lot!
I’m sure your kids are angels and someone else opened that cabinet fro them 
But tire wax on your wooden floor, man that’s not funny at all
Nella recently posted..Mundgeruch: Die Grundlagen der Behandlung des Problems
I\’m sure you are right
. I mean what child would ever put tire wax, that takes weeks to completely get off of a wood floor, on my floor?
Ha ha! Love it.
Sarah recently posted..Project 365 {Week #26}
Twitter: naptimemomtog
This is awesome! What a great idea to help ease the insanity of messes!!! Maybe we can do one for husbands next?! hahaha
Ashley recently posted..Official Announcement: We’re Expecting! (Well…Sorta)
Twitter: StinkerBabies
Oooh, good idea!!
Hey Jessica!
I really have concern with you in that context,But tell me one thing Jessica,do you think that we should get panic when our sweet baby do such kind of messes??….No doubt mine are also do such kind of messes and I’m gonna shoot those moments from now for taking a part in that great contest,but i really love those sweet baby DO’s,Actually kids are so innocent and they don’t know what exactly they are doing and how it will affect there parents.So i suggest you not to get panic and stressed just enjoy those moments and yes capture them in your camera for feeling joy in future.Thank you for sharing your valuable thoughts.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
manish2010 recently posted..Outdoor Kitchen Equipment
He he, so from now on I shoot before I clean.
I love your idea about the linky with this subject, I’m sure it’s going to make the day of everyone when we can see that our sweety is not the only one. LOL
Mommy’s Paradise recently posted..The secret language
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This sounds like so much fun!!
Amy recently posted..The Atlanta Airport War Story
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That’s awesome! (Love the new blog look, BTW!) I don’t know that I have photos, but there’s still time. Surely another disgusting disaster will happen that I can catch on film (digitally) before then.
NotJustAnotherJennifer recently posted..Wordless Wednesday
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You should tell shitmykidsruined.com about your linkup! I’m sure you’d get some GREAT submissions!
Ryan (The Woven Moments) recently posted..10 Easy Steps To A Fun Wedding With Your (Little) Kids
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Great idea for a contest! I can’t compete with tire wax on a floor but I’ll link-up an old caption contest where Mazzy made quite a mess of some magazines if nothing better (worse) happens in the next couple of weeks!
Ilana recently posted..Mazzy’s Review of the Fireworks
Twitter: mommyshorts
I feel you when my kids messed up with my toilet tissue paper and baby powder! They put the powder all over their body and wrapped their whole body with a tissue paper and pretend to be a mummy! I was really furious on them! The floor is messed up with baby powder, and the toilet papers are rolling all over the floor! I don’t know how I will react and start questioning them who started it, of course they start pointing fingers that really annoyed me more! ha! great kids! Anyway thanks for the links!
Cayla @ Smoke Free City recently posted..smokeless cigarettes
Hope you have pictures and are planning to link up, sounds like your kids can make big messes like mine!
What fun it’ll be to go through my pictures–laughing all the while I consult with the kids on the messiest one. My darlings are so, um, creative that my MOM stays with a friend when she comes to visit. Sigh.
So glad you are going to participate! I think people may be afraid to be our house guest too!
This concept makes me giggle! Every time that my daughter makes a mess, destroys something, cuts something to shreds (she WILL be a designer one day, right?) I take a picture. Bummed that your contest is over, but I actually will blog about this now too! I have a whole album called “Pey’s Messes”. She is Queen!
Twitter: DanaWentSnap