I Have Been Waiting For This

I have waited patiently and tried my hardest not to harass any of those amazing ladies over at The SITS Girls and it has FINALLY paid off. Today is my SITS day and I am hoping my writing or my pictures or the lack of obnoxious background music, wiggly font and flashing pictures will keep you here for a few moments.

Women Online

Anyway.

{Nervously shuffling before my speech}

Ahem.

I started blogging because I used to have free time and a huge belly full of triplets.

triplet belly

Who knew a triplet pregnancy would bring on a barrage of questions from everyone I made eye contact with?

Hiding behind my computer and answering them all at once seemed the perfect idea.

Thus this place and my frequent use of the phrase “didn’t you read my blog?” began.

And then I stopped.

Our daughter, one of our triplets, passed away as an infant.

nicu picture

I could not imagine writing, or talking or doing anything other than burying myself in taking care of my children.

I can’t remember why, but one day I had the urge to start writing again. Reaching out a nervous hand, I returned to this space.

My readers collectively reached right back and pulled me up.

Since that day I have been lifted, carried and supported on my journey when I’ve needed it most.

And my journey has changed.

Through loss I have learned to soak up the good moments rather than drown in the bad.

new baby home

Even though my vision is often blurred by tears, I have never seen life more clearly.

I hope you will join me on a winding journey through meltdowns and belly laughs, preschool and high school, over-cooked dinner and ice cream for breakfast…

with a thread of gratitude I am forever weaving through it all.

kids on shore

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  1. says

    This (like all your writing) is so beautiful, Jessica. Congrats on your SITS day–I can’t think of anyone more deserving. The picture of with your belly marked up (A, B, C) made me tear up a bit. You are such a strong and courageous woman and I am so glad that you have found this community again to lift you up when life brings you down. It wouldn’t be the same place without you.

    XOXO and have a great day.
    Charlotte recently posted..smitten

  2. says

    Well, I’ve been meaning to get over here forever – and your SITS Day is as good a day as any! Hope you enjoyed your moment in the SITS sun! What a lovely post. You’ve been through so much and your attitude is inspiring.

  3. says

    Jessica…hope you enjoyed your day in the spotlight. I have enjoyed looking through your blog. You are a beautiful mother with five beautiful children. Thanks for helping me remember to enjoy the simple things in life!!
    Anna recently posted.."I Cheated Cancer"

  4. says

    Happy SITS day again. The lack of background music is refreshing, and these days, it’s quite unusual to see a site with a “regular” font, huh? (Not that I dislike wiggly fonts or anything, but you know.)

    I am sorry for your heartbreaking loss, but lifted up by your outlook and incredible attitude of gratitude.
    Ronni recently posted..Rambling…

  5. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger says

    Yay for a SITS day! For anyone reading, you need to keep reading. Jessica’s blog is beautiful and funny and inspiring.

  6. says

    First, congrats on your SITS Day! Proud of you and hope it brings a bazillion great things your way. You have serious strength and you are admired :)

  7. says

    I’m so glad to have found you through SITS. Your story breaks my heart and amazes me all at once. You are one strong lady! Also, I laughed out loud at your comment about the obnoxious music. I have my computer always silenced, because I hate being startled by music on peoples’ blogs. :)

  8. says

    Hey Jessica! So glad to see you returned after such a devastating loss. It’s pretty amazing how much strength you can gain from writing and communicating with your readers. Happy Sits Day!

  9. The Anecdotal Baby says

    Awe, congrats Love! Such a deserving honor, and I just have to say this line “Even though my vision is often blurred by tears, I have never seen life more clearly.” so beautifully written. You touch my heart every time I stop by for a read! Congrats and hugs.
    The Anecdotal Baby recently posted..Thoughts on Jury Duty

  10. says

    Happy SITS day! I am your newest follower and look forward to reading more from you! Will be poking around some old posts today getting to know you a little better!

  11. Sela Toki says

    How wonderful to cross-paths with people like you and SITS has made that possible for all of us. I’m touched by your post to-day. You have a heart-warming, beautiful blog and I’m excited to be of acquaintance. HAVE A WONDERFUL SITS day.
    Sela Toki recently posted..Where’s my anti-aging cream people?

  12. says

    Congratulations on being featured today! Sounds like we have a couple things in common – I have a son with Asperger Syndrome (I commented on another post of yours), and I lost twin girls when I was 22 weeks pregnant (in 2002 – they are in my heart forever). I think I’m going to have to start following you!! :)
    Holly recently posted..I Heart Faces {Black}

  13. says

    What a lovely blog you have!!! Happy SITS day! How lovely that your readers have given you so much support. I think gratitude is the key to life. It keeps us from becoming embittered, unhappy people.

  14. says

    Congratulations on your feature day, I’m so looking forward to a full morning of reading your blog! I too share a little angel in heaven, though I never had the opportunity to meet him/her other than in my heart…your strength, and heart are so encouraging I know to so many!
    Lesley recently posted..Our Family, A Photo Story

  15. says

    That was so beautiful.

    Who wouldn’t follow you after that intro of all intros.

    I love your site, your writing, your true heart.

    Congrats on your SITS day. We’re all so happy you’re here.

    And,yes: blogging has saved my life, too.

    You’re the best, girl: and I love you.

    New here, SITS visitors? This is one lady who always has the funny, the party, the community, the love, going on.

    A must follow.
    Alexandra recently posted..I Can No Longer Be Silent

  16. says

    Congratulations on your SITS day, and for being such a strong person. I love your idea “soak up the good moments rather than drown in the bad.” That is great advice and a great attitude. Enjoy your day in the spotlight!
    Eva Gallant recently posted..New Word Wednesday #45

  17. says

    Blogging can be such therapy, can’t it!? I’m so happy that you’re still focused on seeing the beauty in life…how can you not with the blessing of ALL of your beautiful children. I gave birth to my twins at 20 weeks and it was the most devastating period of my life, but now I’m stronger. So happy to “meet” you. Happy SITS day, girl!
    michelle @ this little light recently posted..Fear and Talking

  18. says

    Hi sweet Jess, you continue to amaze me and watching you thru this journey helps me walk it too. Always beside you, and sending love to our heavenly babies. Good job momma….love, nan xxxooo

    • Jessica says

      So good to see you hear and to have you always beside me. Miss you like crazy and so forever inspired by your strength.

  19. says

    Hi I’m a new follower. I love this post. I’m so glad I found you. I am a mother of 7, 6 here on earth and one angel in heaven. I had a missed miscarriage at 11-1/2 weeks. It always helps me to hear others share about their loss to come to grips and make sense of how I feel about it. Baby would have been 7 yrs old in -August and the middle of the 6. Looking forward to following you. :)
    Salena recently posted..Little Shop of Horrors

    • Jessica says

      So glad you stopped by Salena, loss changes us forever doesn\’t it? So sorry all of your babies are not here with you.

  20. mindy says

    Congrats on your big SITS day! Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m very glad to have found you, through SITS, in this tiny corner of the world wide web!

  21. says

    I have been following your blog for awhile, so I was SO excited to see you featured on SITS today! And this post made me cry. You are strong and wonderful!
    Jenn recently posted..Letting Go

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