What to Give

I am often asked for ideas on what to give someone who has experienced pregnancy loss or the loss of an infant or child. I wish this question never had to come up but am so glad there are thoughtful people out there who want to do something to ease the pain of others.

I thought I would put together a list of my favorite products and ideas I have come across over the years that may bring comfort to someone who is grieving.

 

1. Molly Bear- Molly Bears is a non-profit founded by a fellow loss mom who creates bears the exact weight of your infant at the time they passed. Words can’t express the feelings that rushed over me the first time I lifted my bear out of its box.

boy hugging bear

2. Footprint ring- Lauren Nicole LLC makes a gorgeous ring with the actual footprint of your child. She also does quite a bit of customized jewelry so if you do not have a print you could have the child’s name put on a necklace or bracelet.

3. Angel wing necklace- A friend recently pinned this necklace from the Vintage Pearl for me on Pinterest and it is now on my wish list. It would also be a great gift for someone who suffered a loss during pregnancy and may not have prints or a name to create something personalized.

4. Lost for Words card line- The very talented Carly Marie Dudley and Franchesca Cox teamed up to create beautiful cards for all occasions of loss. They have found the words for subjects that are hard to talk about for many.

5. Memory Box- There are personalized memory boxes you can order but there are also pretty boxes you can purchase anywhere. After you lose a baby there can be so few precious things to keep, giving someone a beautiful place to keep them is such a thoughtful gift.

6. Entwined ring- Unfortunately, multiple pregnancies are at a higher risk of loss. If you know someone who has lost one or more in a set of twins or triplets these rings from Nelle and Lizzy are perfect. I have one entwining the names of my triplets and I couldn’t love it more.

7. Name In the Sand- I cannot say enough about this gift. Carly Marie, the founder of this site will write the name of a lost child in the sand on the shores of a gorgeous beach in Australia and photograph it for you. This was one of the first things I had done to remember Hadley and I will always treasure it.

8. Support at home- Many families who have suffered a loss have spent many days and nights in a hospital. One of the most wonderful gifts we were given was a fridge full of fresh produce. When I finally returned from the hospital my mom and aunt had shopped for us and filled our fridge with fresh fruits and veggies. I think that first plate of fresh food was the best meal I’ve ever had. I was in no shape to go to the store and such a thoughtful gesture was truly appreciated.

Ultimately, any small gesture will mean so much to a family that is struggling through grief. The most important thing you can do is acknowledge their loss and let them know you are there for support when they need you.

—————-

I was not compensated in anyway for mentioning any of these companies, I have just spent four years trying to find ways to hold on to my daughter’s memory and these are the products I have loved the most.

 

Comments

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments

Comments

  1. says

    My daughter was older when she passed and so many people have given me beautiful gifts. I have lockets, decorative items with butterflies and dragonflies, and just yesterday a friend gave me a Christmas angel she thought looked like my daughter (the only decoration I even have this year).
    Kiri recently posted..Marked

  2. says

    I just lost my daughter to Anencephaly. She was born at 20 weeks. We thought we were carrying to term but she had other plans. I would love to see stuff for infants born and lost to this condition.

  3. says

    The Molly Bear idea is so unbelievable – I can’t believe someone thought of that. It must be healing in some ways, at least the mom would feel loved to receive such a gift.
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Follow Me?

  4. says

    Thank you so much for this list. It also reminded me to go back and check the Molly Bear site. Every time I have checked it the waiting list has been closed. I am so glad that you were able to get your bear.

    I will see if i can pin some of these on my wish list Thank you again . Thinking about you all. Take care. xoxo
    Lanie recently posted..Out of Control

    • says

      I think their waiting list is open, it took a really long time to get mine but definitely worth the wait. Thinking of you as always Lanie. xo

  5. says

    As sad as this was/is/will be you did such a great job making it about others and their pain. I pinned it. It was hard to come up with a description but I know others will want to know about it.
    Jamie recently posted..59 miles

    • says

      I know this is an issue people often have but don’t know who to ask so just wanted to put it out there in a way that people could come back and reference. Glad you found it helpful and thanks for sharing!

  6. says

    My friend lost her baby at around week 32. We had already started getting special gifts for the baby, like a handmade quilt. We gave those to her and she keeps them in her memory box. I think something that was created special for the baby should go to the mom no matter what.

  7. says

    These are all great ideas. After the loss of our child I received a small box at my doorstep. Inside was a candle and a small angel with my sons birthstone on it. The note simply said, “We lost our son too and we light a candle similar to this in his memory. I hope in some way this brings you peace.”

    It did and still does.
    Lizbeth recently posted..Somebody take me out back and shoot me, would you?

  8. says

    I love this post. I have a very dear friend who just experienced a miscarriage and honestly, I didn’t know what to do and if giving a gift was appropriate. Knowing she loved Buffalo Wild Wings, we ended up getting her a gift card since we knew it was going to be a long few days ahead for her and would be a good spot to get carryout and not have to worry about cooking. I feel like a schmuck after reading these heartfelt ideas!

    I love the angel wings…and think I may get those for her for what would’ve been her due date since I know that day is going to be hard on her.

    GREAT ideas, Jessica!
    Mrs. Weber recently posted..Why I Love Country Music

  9. says

    These suggestions are beautiful. My husband & I lost a pregnancy 2 years ago before we were blessed with our sweet little flower. I wish I knew or thought about these things at the time. It may have helped ease the pain I felt during that time. Thanks for posting this.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] A beautiful writer and mom who lost a child several years ago, spends much of her time writing and helping others deal with the loss of a child and/or how to help a friend who is grieving. When speaking with her today, she said she had earlier written a post on her blog, Four Plus an Angel, suggesting different gifts for bereaving friends. She recommended I list the link on my site for you to read here: http://fourplusanangel.com/2012/02/what-to-give/ [...]