Since becoming a mom I may have…
picked up food off the floor and inadvertently put it in my mouth rather than throwing it away
accidentally drank from a sippy cup instead of my coffee mug
planned an outfit in my head only to come to my senses and realize I was envisioning clothes from my four year old’s closet
taken my eldest daughter’s medication instead of my vitamins WHILE BREASTFEEDING and then had to call the pharmacy in a panic to see if it was safe to still nurse (pretty sure the pharmacist was wondering WHY I took my daughter’s meds but I must have sounded insane sleep-deprived enough for him not to ask).
realized my preschooler did not brush his teeth two seconds after I finally had everyone buckled into their seats and pulled out of the driveway anyway (sorry Mrs. Preschool Teacher, at least he’s not a close talker)
spent an ENTIRE doctor’s appointment with the sticky tab from a pack of disposable wipes IN MY HAIR without ANYONE telling me (this was recent, the embarrassment is fresh)
left Starbuck’s without my coffee, the gas station without closing my gas tank and the ATM without my card all in one errand-running trip
pretended not to smell the nose-burning stench in the air in hopes my husband thought he noticed it first and changed the poor kid
spot-cleaned my house with baby wipes
put a pacifier in my mouth (not the hold-the-handle-in-your-teeth way but the real way)
called my kids out of school because I had a serious case of I-have-no-desire-to-get-everyone-moving-this-morning
forgotten snack day, picture day, a snow day and encouraged the skipping of a pain-in-the-rear homework assignment
used words such as “butt” “poop” “butt crack” “toot” (need I go on?) in a song to stop a rapidly increasing meltdown cycle
spent WAY more time blogging, pinning, tweeting and facebooking than cooking, cleaning and darning socks
let my kids stay up late, have dessert too close to bedtime and passed out ten million extra hugs and kisses just because. This cancels out the rest of my screw-ups right?
Time to make me feel better… what’s your Mom Confession??
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I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.
just about all of those…but I would never keep them all home…no way!
and on Friday as I was leaving Brooke’s OT someone came up to me and said, I don’t want to embarrass you but your shirt and pants are inside out…yup, both of them…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..I Heart Faces-Beautiful B&W
Twitter: notaperfectmama
Yay you, I’ve done inside out AND backwards shirt but not the pants too.
I am only 7 months into this mommy gig, but my most recent one was totally forgetting to take my son in for his 2nd flu shot. It was on my calendar AND they called me the day before to remind me. When did I remember the 8:00am appt? Noon. Oh well.
Sarah @ Spoon Fed Baby recently posted..Beaba Babycook Baby Food Maker
Twitter: spoonfed_baby
what haven’t I done?!! Forgot to pick my daughter up from gymnastics. Forgot to pack a drink, fork, spoon, whatever in their lunch. Let a child “forget” their homework folder just because I was tired of the fight and didn’t want to hear anything from the teacher. Let a child sleep in my bed for the night because I was tired…just so tired!!! See, you’re not the only one!
Meredith recently posted..Piano as a Sport
Twitter: meredithmull
I admit, I laughed when I imagined you with a disposable wipe sticky tab in your hair
I’ve walked around all day with stains on my white tee and had no idea.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..So Far
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
I left a friend’s house (who also has mommy brain so she didn’t notice) with my ski vest turned inside out. Didn’t notice it until about 4-5 blocks away when I saw myself in a store window. I actually thought it was the most hilarious “mom” moment. Oh, and I’ve done most of what you’ve done as well…my house was cleaned by baby wipes for quite some time. Great post!
Jill @ Mommy Inconsistent recently posted..I Don’t Want To Play Today
This is awesome! I’ve only been at this mom thing for a year, but I’ve already had some moments I’m not proud of. Such as, dripping pizza sauce on my son’s face while he was nursing because he NEVER stopped nursing and I needed to eat. At least it wasn’t hot pizza sauce! And I still nurse him to sleep most nights because I just want him to go the EFF to sleep.
Melissa recently posted..To LBK: Happy First Birthday
Twitter: mel_awideline
Yes – all screw ups are cancelled out by hugs, kisses and more dessert.
This should make you feel better. I was so proud of myself the first time I took the twins grocery shopping after their little brother was born. I was congratulating myself as I pulled into the garage until I realized that I had forgotten all the groceries and my wallet. At least I remembered to bring the twins home. . .
Lanie recently posted..Human Doings
Dude you should link this up to my Saturday confession meme…hint hint
yea that was a shameless plug.
Kimberly recently posted..Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday
Twitter: momgosomething
Linked up, thanks
The things I haven’t done on this list will probaby happen in the next few years. Thank you for helping me feel normal.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Irish Symbols in a Snack for Muffin Tin Monday
Been there… to all of this!
Maija @ Maija’s Mommy Moments recently posted..Glade Expressions Review and Giveaway
Twitter: MommyMoments
I’ve done most of those. On a trip to the gas station last year, I left the debit card at home. I didn’t realize this until after I took the gas cap off. As we were pulling out of the parking lot to run back home, I realized I never screwed the gas cap back on or shut the door. My son was also bouncing around the backseat because I didn’t remind him to buckle up.
Evonne recently posted..The Wait is Over
Twitter: _MamaJules_
LMAO! Can I say, I’ve done most of these! The one I was most thrilled to see was that I’m not the ONLY ONE who accidentally took their child’s medication! I just did it last week. I have a disabled daughter who takes anti-convulsants for a seizure disorder and I had her mid-day dose in my hand along with my own drink. So as I was yappin’ away and drinking, suddenly w/o realizing what I was doing, i just popped her pill in my mouth and swallowed it! I also sent same disabled daughter to school without shoes on in the dead of winter and once called the police on myself when I thought a wild possum or psychotic person was in my garage when it was just (you guessed it) the same disabled daughter who had snuck in my garage. In the 90 degree summer heat. I almost got hauled away for that one.
So glad I’m not the only one with Mommy Brain!
Alicia D recently posted..Sunday’s Tree
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I’m afraid you’re, what we normally refer to as, “normal”. Sorry about that! Hope that doesn’t make you suicidal.
m.
Mark recently posted..Current Score:
Twitter: Rsimplelives
This: forgotten snack day, picture day, a snow day and encouraged the skipping of a pain-in-the-rear homework assignment
Oh, that’s SO me!
Shell recently posted..#HealthyHabits Results and $100 Gift Card Giveaway
Done all of those things, except the teeth brushing one is particularly embarrassing still as it was a couple of weeks ago, for my kindergarten, on dental hygienist day. Thankfully, she didn’t ask the kids if they’d brushed that morning!
But my biggest mommy confession would be faking burping in order to get my kids to give real smiles in photos. Works every time!
Mom On A Line recently posted..Innocence
Twitter: MomOnALine
How about wrapping your child in an extra t shirt in the store restroom, then putting clothes back on him/her in an attempt to makes-shift a diaper…then continue shopping as if nothing ever happened?
Spot cleaning the house with wipes is classic!
Melissa recently posted..One of Those Days
I can’t imagine cleaning my house without baby wipes. And I sometimes intentionally drink from the sippy cups because I’m too lazy to pour my own juice. Ouch.
KLZ recently posted..Best Baby Gifts
Twitter: Taminginsanity
Oh Saturday, I let each one of my children have 3 cupcakes each and moved a couch out in the garage so they could destroy it.
This all made them ridiculously happy and me too.
Jen recently posted..Preschool Observations
The wipes tab in your hair? HAAAAAlarious!!!!!
I would have been embarrassed too. Your dr’s office totally needs some customer service training. They should “know” moms and help a momma out, geeze!!!! I think my biggest confession is I became a liar! I was never a liar before. I can pull it off now! Whatever works. If me saying the darn crayon was green is going to set off a complete meltdown, then I will say whatever color that darn child wants me to say with truth and excitement behind it!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Tayarra recently posted..What I’ve Learned This Week
Twitter: tsharp12
I may have done a few of these once or twice too. But that’s okay because we’re moms and I think that people will know that!
Now the darning socks… do people still do that?
Jackie recently posted..Monday Menu ~ Death by Chocolate Cupcakes
So glad to find your blog! Super hilarious!
I’m glad I’m not the only crazy who spot cleans with baby wipes. The diaper thing..WHY cant men ever smell it first. Are women built with a stronger sniffer – seriously!
ToDoListMom recently posted..(Almost) Prize Winning Chocolate Chip Cookies
Twitter: todolistmom
I have farted and blamed it on the baby. I have picked up the food from the floor and popped it in my mouth w/no problem (3 second rule PUHLEEZE!). I have worn the same pants three days straight, no shower in between, and didn’t bathe until I realized that that smell I couldn’t seem to find that seemed to be in every room actually was me.
Arnebya recently posted..I Entice Nurses With My Bosoms
Twitter: whatnowandwhy
lol. Oh, wow, where do I begin?!? I think I’ve done 95% of the things on your list and a lot more. My one confession that I’m willing to make today (and only today and on your blog because I REALLY like you): I have farted in a public place and have “blamed” it on my baby.
Jessica recently posted..52|10: Motherhood in Black and White
I spent an afternoon at the park only to discover afterward that I had a strip of duct tape hanging off the seat of my sweatpants. None of the other mothers told me, so I assume they thought I’d taped my bottoms together. But no. I’d simply sat in some lame arts & crafts attempt.
Also, I was once so frazzled by motherhood, I ran out of gas TWICE in one day. The first time, I called my dad who brought me two gallons in a plastic container and warned me it wouldn’t last.
But damn, I had a lot of errands to run and two kids in car seats and I was already completely overwhelmed so I just continued on in denial until yep….I sputtered to a stop again on a street with no cell service.
Luckily, a woman jogged by who then ran home and called Triple A for me.
So, seriously.
What kind of mom-fail is that?
I didn’t tell my husband for a month…
and my dad for probably a year.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me Bombecked
Oh I love this. Being a mother…
)
-leaving the little one (when she was a newborn) in the classroom with her older sister (the baby was not supposed to stay)
-sneaking chocolate and treats while the kids are in another part of the house because I don’t want to share
I’ve done several from your list as well.
christine recently posted..A Birthday Lost
Twitter: anditislove
Leaving the baby play in her crib so I can finish this comment. In my defense, she’s up there happy as a clam.
Lizbeth recently posted..Invasion of Science City—complete.
Opened the car door, put my 5 year old in, shut the door, walked around to the other side of the car and got in…only to have my child say (with a confused look as he sat behind the steering wheel)…”mom, can I drive?”
Love this. I’d say you are right on track!
Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..Curbside
If it makes you feel any better my husband and I started to drive off with the gas hose STILL IN THE CAR! And we didn’t even have kids yet!
Elizabeth recently posted..For Your Birthday: Reasons I Like You
Twitter: mommonsenseblog
Oh yes, that definitely candles out all of the rest!
Also? So been there for most of it. Le sigh. One day we’ll be “put together” again, right? Right?!
Love this fun post with the sweet-as-pie twist at the end, Jess!
Galit Breen recently posted..Write for the Fight!
Twitter: galitbreen
I’ve totally put a soother in my mouth the whole way!!
The things we do for our kids!
Leighann recently posted..March Break Madness
Mommy confessions is like my favorite game to play! We should all play it more often. Hmm…there are so many to choose from. How about today? Busy blocking out the world in the kitchen while my son was busy sticking his feet in a dirty toilet. And by dirty, I mean, filled with his poop/pee. I should mention he was telling me exactly what he was doing the whole time as I said completely checked out from the kitchen, “oh really..ok honey.”
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..Toddler Gets Kicked off Jet Blue for Tantrum
It’s really not an easy job being a mother.
but what is important is you’re all the way there for your kids. Thanks for sharing this..
Nicole recently posted..reclaiming ppi
I think I’ve done all of these…I’m glad you shared b/c I think we need to make other moms feel better!
Tiffany recently posted..Badge of Honor or Cross to Bear?
Confession. I go in an snuggle the kids after they’re sleeping because I like them best that way. Quiet & happy
Mommakiss recently posted..Balls
Twitter: mommakiss
I’m guilty of all of the above and just recently, I have kept each one of my girls home from school a few days before their birthday to spend an entire day with me doing whatever they wanted with just me. They were the best hooky days ever and I plan on doing this every year now. Alone time is precious and if I can get it during the week when it is easier for me to focus on them and not the entire family, I’m going to take it.
Kristen recently posted..I’m Not Allowed to Get Mushy…
Twitter: KristenPGIP
I have gone through almost everything (apart from taking my daughter’s medication instead of my vitamins WHILE BREASTFEEDING and then had to call the pharmacy in a panic to see if it was safe to still nurse).
But you & I must agree that it is an amazing feeling to be a mother.
Thanks.
-Lisa
Lisa Sanders recently posted..meditation music
Yes, yes, yes! Motherhood is so wonderful…and so discombobulating.
Julia recently posted..I Made All the Right Parenting Choices. So Did You.
Twitter: juliahembree
****picked up food off the floor and inadvertently put it in my mouth rather than throwing it away***
That sentence made me SMILE.
The last time I did that, I had eaten a toenail!
Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Oh My Gaga
Twitter: krrobi
LOVE these. I have done so many of them too.
Motherhood makes up do all kind of things we never would have imagined.
Brittany Stewart recently posted..Thank God for Warmer Weather
Twitter: brittanies
Lol I took my 3 kids to the grocery store one day and they all started getting cranky. I quickly rang up everything at the self check-out, got to the van, packed up the groceries, THEN realized I never paid! When I came back into the store, they were getting ready to report it. Luckily, they were just really happy to see that I came back.
SOOO glad to know I’m not the only one who has done that first one! HA HA HA!
Elaine recently posted..I made her a skirt…
Twitter: elainea
Ah yes, I nodded along with us and chuckled too. We are moms and it comes with the territory.
Just so you know, I WOULD have told you about that diaper sticky tab in your hair.
Tonya recently posted..Just One Day
Twitter: letters4lucas
None of us is perfect. But you are pretty darn close in my book
Love this post and the sweet smiles on your children’s faces. That picture says it all to me.
Charlotte recently posted..Why dating in the real world is nothing like “finding love” on the Bachelor
Twitter: MyPixieBlog
What is “darning socks?” Seriously. What, exactly, does darning a sock entail? This sounds extremely intricate and domesticated.
Which is probably why I have no idea what the hell it is.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Friday Tapas: The Blogging for Dummies Edition
Twitter: SaidKristin
Ha! I had to google it to make sure I included it appropriately in my post. It’s when you fix a hole in your sock.
And now we can darn together.
Yup, I have done a couple of these myself!
Barbara @ Footprints in France recently posted..Mommy style
Ah, gotta love the mommy-moments and mommy-brain! I, too, have planned outfits only to realize I can’t breast feed well, or the heel is not practical… left my gas cap on top of the truck… and left! Hello $12 later for a new one. And why let perfectly good food go to waste? The 3 second rule applies around here. Blogging, pinning, tweeting, and facebooking help me get through some days! So glad I’m not alone in the crazy mommy moments.
The Anecdotal Baby recently posted..They Grow So Fast
Twitter: anecdotalbaby
Thanks for reminding me that motherhood lets us all be a little crazy. I’m using Mommy Brain as my excuse until I’m 90.
Sometimes I don’t tell my child to stop picking her nose because I want to pick my battles instead of getting after her for picking her nose.
Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..Kinda Wordless Wednesday – A Must See Video
Twitter: literalmom
Laughing out loud at this one. Thanks Missy, needed that this morning.
If we’re still swimming in the pool after 6pm, they r still pretty clean by 10 so no need for shower/bath those nights right? Yep, I figured that. And when driving home and 2blocks away from ur house as ur kid’s eyes r just about to close but u know they will open right back up as they feel the car approach ur driveway, its ok to pretend ur not goin home, pass ur street & just keep driving around until u c in rear view mirror that the eyes r completely closed & mouth just slightly open…thats ok right? Thought so. And one should not disturb sleeping child (ruin mommy nap time) so u find the nearest sbux drive thru,park in their lot & use their WIFI to….what else? Blog, Facebook, pin, tweet, read, comment,etc..
Oh & finnnnallllllyyyy get a chance to listen to YOUR music!! (Who cares if u must use headphones.)
I am laughing so hard over the sticky in your hair!! That’s perfectly me and makes me feel so much better.
Hilarious