Mommy Confessions

Since becoming a mom I may have…

picked up food off the floor and inadvertently put it in my mouth rather than throwing it away

accidentally drank from a sippy cup instead of my coffee mug

planned an outfit in my head only to come to my senses and realize I was envisioning clothes from my four year old’s closet

taken my eldest daughter’s medication instead of my vitamins WHILE BREASTFEEDING and then had to call the pharmacy in a panic to see if it was safe to still nurse (pretty sure the pharmacist was wondering WHY I took my daughter’s meds but I must have sounded insane sleep-deprived enough for him not to ask).

realized my preschooler did not brush his teeth two seconds after I finally had everyone buckled into their seats and pulled out of the driveway anyway (sorry Mrs. Preschool Teacher, at least he’s not a close talker)

spent an ENTIRE doctor’s appointment with the sticky tab from a pack of disposable wipes IN MY HAIR without ANYONE telling me (this was recent, the embarrassment is fresh)

left Starbuck’s without my coffee, the gas station without closing my gas tank and the ATM without my card all in one errand-running trip

pretended not to smell the nose-burning stench in the air in hopes my husband thought he noticed it first and changed the poor kid

spot-cleaned my house with baby wipes

put a pacifier in my mouth (not the hold-the-handle-in-your-teeth way but the real way)

called my kids out of school because I had a serious case of I-have-no-desire-to-get-everyone-moving-this-morning

forgotten snack day, picture day, a snow day and encouraged the skipping of a pain-in-the-rear homework assignment

used words such as “butt” “poop” “butt crack” “toot” (need I go on?) in a song to stop a rapidly increasing meltdown cycle

spent WAY more time blogging, pinning, tweeting and facebooking than cooking, cleaning and darning socks

let my kids stay up late, have dessert too close to bedtime and passed out ten million extra hugs and kisses just because. This cancels out the rest of my screw-ups right?

three kids

Time to make me feel better… what’s your Mom Confession??

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  1. Leighann says

    I am laughing so hard over the sticky in your hair!! That’s perfectly me and makes me feel so much better.
    Hilarious

  2. Thinking mom says

    If we’re still swimming in the pool after 6pm, they r still pretty clean by 10 so no need for shower/bath those nights right? Yep, I figured that. And when driving home and 2blocks away from ur house as ur kid’s eyes r just about to close but u know they will open right back up as they feel the car approach ur driveway, its ok to pretend ur not goin home, pass ur street & just keep driving around until u c in rear view mirror that the eyes r completely closed & mouth just slightly open…thats ok right? Thought so. And one should not disturb sleeping child (ruin mommy nap time) so u find the nearest sbux drive thru,park in their lot & use their WIFI to….what else? Blog, Facebook, pin, tweet, read, comment,etc..
    Oh & finnnnallllllyyyy get a chance to listen to YOUR music!! (Who cares if u must use headphones.)

  3. The Anecdotal Baby says

    Ah, gotta love the mommy-moments and mommy-brain! I, too, have planned outfits only to realize I can’t breast feed well, or the heel is not practical… left my gas cap on top of the truck… and left! Hello $12 later for a new one. And why let perfectly good food go to waste? The 3 second rule applies around here. Blogging, pinning, tweeting, and facebooking help me get through some days! So glad I’m not alone in the crazy mommy moments.
    The Anecdotal Baby recently posted..They Grow So Fast

    • says

      Thanks for reminding me that motherhood lets us all be a little crazy. I’m using Mommy Brain as my excuse until I’m 90.

    • says

      Ha! I had to google it to make sure I included it appropriately in my post. It’s when you fix a hole in your sock. :) And now we can darn together.

  4. says

    Ah yes, I nodded along with us and chuckled too. We are moms and it comes with the territory.

    Just so you know, I WOULD have told you about that diaper sticky tab in your hair.
    Tonya recently posted..Just One Day

  5. Kathleen says

    Lol I took my 3 kids to the grocery store one day and they all started getting cranky. I quickly rang up everything at the self check-out, got to the van, packed up the groceries, THEN realized I never paid! When I came back into the store, they were getting ready to report it. Luckily, they were just really happy to see that I came back.

  6. says

    ****picked up food off the floor and inadvertently put it in my mouth rather than throwing it away***

    That sentence made me SMILE. :)

    The last time I did that, I had eaten a toenail!

    Xxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted..Oh My Gaga

  7. Lisa Sanders says

    I have gone through almost everything (apart from taking my daughter’s medication instead of my vitamins WHILE BREASTFEEDING and then had to call the pharmacy in a panic to see if it was safe to still nurse).
    But you & I must agree that it is an amazing feeling to be a mother.

    Thanks.

    -Lisa
    Lisa Sanders recently posted..meditation music

  8. Kristen says

    I’m guilty of all of the above and just recently, I have kept each one of my girls home from school a few days before their birthday to spend an entire day with me doing whatever they wanted with just me. They were the best hooky days ever and I plan on doing this every year now. Alone time is precious and if I can get it during the week when it is easier for me to focus on them and not the entire family, I’m going to take it. :-)
    Kristen recently posted..I’m Not Allowed to Get Mushy…

  9. Mommakiss says

    Confession. I go in an snuggle the kids after they’re sleeping because I like them best that way. Quiet & happy ;)
    Mommakiss recently posted..Balls

  10. Nicole says

    It’s really not an easy job being a mother. :) but what is important is you’re all the way there for your kids. Thanks for sharing this..
    Nicole recently posted..reclaiming ppi

  11. says

    Mommy confessions is like my favorite game to play! We should all play it more often. Hmm…there are so many to choose from. How about today? Busy blocking out the world in the kitchen while my son was busy sticking his feet in a dirty toilet. And by dirty, I mean, filled with his poop/pee. I should mention he was telling me exactly what he was doing the whole time as I said completely checked out from the kitchen, “oh really..ok honey.”
    The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..Toddler Gets Kicked off Jet Blue for Tantrum

  12. says

    Oh yes, that definitely candles out all of the rest!

    Also? So been there for most of it. Le sigh. One day we’ll be “put together” again, right? Right?!

    Love this fun post with the sweet-as-pie twist at the end, Jess!
    Galit Breen recently posted..Write for the Fight!

  13. Nana says

    Opened the car door, put my 5 year old in, shut the door, walked around to the other side of the car and got in…only to have my child say (with a confused look as he sat behind the steering wheel)…”mom, can I drive?”

  14. says

    Oh I love this. Being a mother…
    -leaving the little one (when she was a newborn) in the classroom with her older sister (the baby was not supposed to stay)
    -sneaking chocolate and treats while the kids are in another part of the house because I don’t want to share
    I’ve done several from your list as well. :o)
    christine recently posted..A Birthday Lost

  15. says

    I spent an afternoon at the park only to discover afterward that I had a strip of duct tape hanging off the seat of my sweatpants. None of the other mothers told me, so I assume they thought I’d taped my bottoms together. But no. I’d simply sat in some lame arts & crafts attempt.

    Also, I was once so frazzled by motherhood, I ran out of gas TWICE in one day. The first time, I called my dad who brought me two gallons in a plastic container and warned me it wouldn’t last.

    But damn, I had a lot of errands to run and two kids in car seats and I was already completely overwhelmed so I just continued on in denial until yep….I sputtered to a stop again on a street with no cell service.

    Luckily, a woman jogged by who then ran home and called Triple A for me.

    So, seriously.
    What kind of mom-fail is that?

    I didn’t tell my husband for a month…
    and my dad for probably a year.
    julie gardner recently posted..Today call me Bombecked

  16. says

    lol. Oh, wow, where do I begin?!? I think I’ve done 95% of the things on your list and a lot more. My one confession that I’m willing to make today (and only today and on your blog because I REALLY like you): I have farted in a public place and have “blamed” it on my baby.
    Jessica recently posted..52|10: Motherhood in Black and White

  17. says

    I have farted and blamed it on the baby. I have picked up the food from the floor and popped it in my mouth w/no problem (3 second rule PUHLEEZE!). I have worn the same pants three days straight, no shower in between, and didn’t bathe until I realized that that smell I couldn’t seem to find that seemed to be in every room actually was me.
    Arnebya recently posted..I Entice Nurses With My Bosoms

  18. says

    The wipes tab in your hair? HAAAAAlarious!!!!!

    I would have been embarrassed too. Your dr’s office totally needs some customer service training. They should “know” moms and help a momma out, geeze!!!! I think my biggest confession is I became a liar! I was never a liar before. I can pull it off now! Whatever works. If me saying the darn crayon was green is going to set off a complete meltdown, then I will say whatever color that darn child wants me to say with truth and excitement behind it!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
    Tayarra recently posted..What I’ve Learned This Week

  19. says

    Oh Saturday, I let each one of my children have 3 cupcakes each and moved a couch out in the garage so they could destroy it.

    This all made them ridiculously happy and me too. :)
    Jen recently posted..Preschool Observations

  20. says

    I can’t imagine cleaning my house without baby wipes. And I sometimes intentionally drink from the sippy cups because I’m too lazy to pour my own juice. Ouch.
    KLZ recently posted..Best Baby Gifts

  21. says

    How about wrapping your child in an extra t shirt in the store restroom, then putting clothes back on him/her in an attempt to makes-shift a diaper…then continue shopping as if nothing ever happened?
    Spot cleaning the house with wipes is classic!
    Melissa recently posted..One of Those Days

  22. says

    Done all of those things, except the teeth brushing one is particularly embarrassing still as it was a couple of weeks ago, for my kindergarten, on dental hygienist day. Thankfully, she didn’t ask the kids if they’d brushed that morning!

    But my biggest mommy confession would be faking burping in order to get my kids to give real smiles in photos. Works every time!
    Mom On A Line recently posted..Innocence

  23. says

    I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I’m afraid you’re, what we normally refer to as, “normal”. Sorry about that! Hope that doesn’t make you suicidal.
    m.
    Mark recently posted..Current Score:

  24. says

    LMAO! Can I say, I’ve done most of these! The one I was most thrilled to see was that I’m not the ONLY ONE who accidentally took their child’s medication! I just did it last week. I have a disabled daughter who takes anti-convulsants for a seizure disorder and I had her mid-day dose in my hand along with my own drink. So as I was yappin’ away and drinking, suddenly w/o realizing what I was doing, i just popped her pill in my mouth and swallowed it! I also sent same disabled daughter to school without shoes on in the dead of winter and once called the police on myself when I thought a wild possum or psychotic person was in my garage when it was just (you guessed it) the same disabled daughter who had snuck in my garage. In the 90 degree summer heat. I almost got hauled away for that one.

    So glad I’m not the only one with Mommy Brain!
    Alicia D recently posted..Sunday’s Tree

  25. says

    I’ve done most of those. On a trip to the gas station last year, I left the debit card at home. I didn’t realize this until after I took the gas cap off. As we were pulling out of the parking lot to run back home, I realized I never screwed the gas cap back on or shut the door. My son was also bouncing around the backseat because I didn’t remind him to buckle up.
    Evonne recently posted..The Wait is Over

  26. says

    Yes – all screw ups are cancelled out by hugs, kisses and more dessert.

    This should make you feel better. I was so proud of myself the first time I took the twins grocery shopping after their little brother was born. I was congratulating myself as I pulled into the garage until I realized that I had forgotten all the groceries and my wallet. At least I remembered to bring the twins home. . .
    Lanie recently posted..Human Doings

  27. says

    This is awesome! I’ve only been at this mom thing for a year, but I’ve already had some moments I’m not proud of. Such as, dripping pizza sauce on my son’s face while he was nursing because he NEVER stopped nursing and I needed to eat. At least it wasn’t hot pizza sauce! And I still nurse him to sleep most nights because I just want him to go the EFF to sleep.
    Melissa recently posted..To LBK: Happy First Birthday

  28. says

    I left a friend’s house (who also has mommy brain so she didn’t notice) with my ski vest turned inside out. Didn’t notice it until about 4-5 blocks away when I saw myself in a store window. I actually thought it was the most hilarious “mom” moment. Oh, and I’ve done most of what you’ve done as well…my house was cleaned by baby wipes for quite some time. Great post!
    Jill @ Mommy Inconsistent recently posted..I Don’t Want To Play Today

  29. says

    what haven’t I done?!! Forgot to pick my daughter up from gymnastics. Forgot to pack a drink, fork, spoon, whatever in their lunch. Let a child “forget” their homework folder just because I was tired of the fight and didn’t want to hear anything from the teacher. Let a child sleep in my bed for the night because I was tired…just so tired!!! See, you’re not the only one! :-)
    Meredith recently posted..Piano as a Sport

  30. says

    just about all of those…but I would never keep them all home…no way!
    and on Friday as I was leaving Brooke’s OT someone came up to me and said, I don’t want to embarrass you but your shirt and pants are inside out…yup, both of them…
    Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..I Heart Faces-Beautiful B&W

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