I read the directions at least three times and have finally remembered at what temperature to preheat the oven.
His knight hat covers my recipe book and I turn to get too snippy about the stuff, the stuff is everywhere.
He has something up his sleeve or his knight shield or whatever you call the plastic thing he’s wearing on his chest.
I can tell by the click, click, click of his tongue.
The complications of Barbie dressing and undressing and fitting her into a firetruck are debated in the next room and I understand the lightbulb over his head.
It’s just us.
Looking at him with both eyes, the way I should have all day, I use my cooking voice. I’m Julia Childs or Racheal Ray or Dora.
I give him the dough to flip and remind myself that four year-olds don’t care what is pre-made.
His belly giggles as I do my best dive to save his four year-old throw. We slide and flip until the floor catches some of our dinner. He stops to see if our spill is okay. I answer him with tickles.
The sword of a knight knows how to pull dough from the floor.
Barbie, the fire truck and their carriers come flying towards our noise.
The oven beeps but the laughter is louder.
Do you have a hard time staying “present” each day? How do you keep your eyes open to what is in front of you?
Linking up with Just Write and 5 for 5.
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Alina Smith says
You are very right christine !
It gets so hard but you have to be very cool and feel good when facing problems because that’s what the parents are for. Fantastic post !!!
Tonya says
Some days it is SO hard, with a household to run and chores, etc. But it makes a huge difference to them when we are in the moment. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And trust me, you are not alone.
Mad Woman behind the Blog says
LOVE. THIS. And by the looks of your comments, so do the rest of your readers.
And thank you…I needed this reminder.
Sarah says
What a fantastic post full of presence. I wish we had more days and moments like these.
And this, I love: “four year-olds don’t care what is pre-made.” Yes, I have to remind myself of this everyday when I feel like a failure for not having a luxurious meal AGAIN.
Emmy says
And yes you could have gotten upset about a spill but instead you made the moment something magical and beautiful
Natalie @MamaTrack says
Such a lovely moment. I’ve been having more problems since the baby was born–I just feel more pulled. I’m sure you know how that goes. Anyway, my key? Get down on the floor. Hard to be distracted when I’m at his height.
Jessica says
That is such a good idea. I may be crawling around all day tomorrow :).
julie gardner says
I find myself daily saying, “Hold on…” or “wait” or “just let me finish this one thing….” while my kids are beginning to tell me a story.
They are almost 13 and 15 so we don’t so much do the tickling and the throwing of food and the dress-up games anymore. Or at all.
But they still want to tell me about their days; they have things to share with me; words they want me to hear.
And I put them off. A lot.
In four years, my son will be in college.
Four.
And I know the silence will echo. I know I need to listen.
Now.
Jessica says
I am so glad you shared this, because I need to know it’s not just me. That I’m not the only one struggling to be present all the time and telling them to hold on for just. one. more. second. Thank you Julie.
heidi says
Jessica, oh, yes, I have a hard time staying present. I fight with it all the time. You are, we are doing the best we can. We can’t be ‘on’ every minute of the day. We’re only human, you know? I think we often feel the need to be superhuman, to do it all, ‘be’ it all. I’m learning that we just can’t. And it’s okay.
This is beautifully written.
Jessica says
Thank you so much Heidi. I always feel like I’m the only one struggling to stay present
Galit Breen says
I so know, you.
I really do.
(In my eyes, you do this beautifully.)
The Mommy Psychologist says
I think I’ve mentioned before that I can really struggle to stay in the moment as well. My trick? Don’t laugh. Sometimes I set up alarms on my phone. Little reminders that remind me to stay present. I like things to be concrete and it works.
Jessica says
I think that is a great idea. I have started giving myself times. Time to leave the phone upstairs or shut off the laptop. Sort of the same strategy.
Heather says
Such lovely writing, lady.
and yes. I struggle with being present and then I write about the moments because it reminds me that I was actually more present than I even knew, the way I remember it so well. Just exactly what you’ve done here.
The presence. It’s there in the details, huh?
xoxo
Jessica says
Very true and I never really thought about it that way. Since I’m taking it all in I might just be more “there” than I thought. Thank you for that. xo
Jane says
That must have been such a magical moment! It is some kind of strange but beautiful communication between you and your son.
Juan says
Staying present can be such a challenge. I find the hardest part is when there are a major deadlines coming up in a couple days; the mind just goes on overdrive and takes over :
Charlotte says
So sweet, this. Jessica, you do what you can. It’s impossible to stay present 24/7 but you are a wonderful mommy and this sounds like a beautiful moment you shared with your son.
I’ve missed you. Hope you are well. XOXO
Smiling Like I Mean It says
I think this is a struggle for every parent, but i think we are often too tough on ourselves striving to achieve it.
A friend suffering from Postnatal depression found this to be both one of her low triggers, this striving to achieve the ‘present’, but also an enormous lift when she consciously chose to just ‘be’ with her children, both physically and emotionally, with no ‘i must do this’ thoughts invading. difficult to achieve.
John says
I’m not really sure I could tell you the last time I was, truly, present . . . even if I’m trying to do something on my own, well, the kids are–the kids. They make any version of “the present” very, very difficult to actually exist in – especially when there is the job, and the fact that I haven’t called my mother in far too long, and any number of other things that invade my life.
I won’t pretend to assume that I know what you’re going through . . . won’t even begin to, but I have a hint.
Kimberly says
I’m bawling my eyes out.
I seriously am.
These last few weeks have been extremely hard on me mentally and physically. I know that I haven’t been the mom that I should have been to Chunky. He’s said things like “Are you going to be sad for today?” and “Don’t be angry today”…kills…me.
Today, we are going on a date. Just me and him and some goats at a petting zoo. He deserves it…and some ice cream.
Jenn says
beautiful. What a great memory to have. I don’t think any of us are present all the time (you know that phenomenon of getting home but not remembering the drive?) but making a conscious effort is a great step.
Tricia says
I find it so much easier to be present when we’re hanging out in the kitchen. Maybe because food really does unite or because in the kitchen I don’t mind when she makes a bit of a mess… or maybe just something we both genuinely enjoy doing together.
cmichaelsny says
You want it to be beautiful and realistic and bring life to your drawing. To draw beautiful eyes, you must focus on making it realistic and get the biology of the eye correct..
Amy says
What a beautiful post. Thank you for the reminder to be present in the moment. Sometimes it’s far too easy to get caught up in all of the mundane tasks that come with being a wife and mother.
You have a lovely blog and such an amazing story. I plan to stop back often. Thanks for visiting my blog!
Jenni & Andy says
I am *SO* distracted by the stuff everywhere. This is written beautifully, and may just be the reset, and the reminder to focus both eyes on my boys, I needed right now.
Lanie says
Staying present with kids (& in life in general) so hard especially when laundry, dishes and dinner are staring at you. One of my favorite quotes, from the movie Kung Fu Panda is “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why we call it a “present.””. Thank you for this post.
Nana says
Glad you had your moment with Parker, I’m sure he loved it. I say it over and over, but I’d give anything to have a few of those moments back…lovely memories<3
Kathleen Basi says
Oh every day I have problems being “present”! The onger I go, the worse it gets, until I have to do a hard reset. I am there now, in fact. I soneeded this reminder.
Jessica says
I have to do the same, a “reset” and get back in touch with life. Often.
Not a Perfect Mom says
ah, the always present guilt of not being present enough…
christine says
Oh my goodness, yes. This is SO hard. And when I let go and relax we are all so much happier. I wish I could be present ALL the time!
Jessica says
I think I used to be better at it, or I was just day dreaming instead of blog reading 🙂
Elaine A. says
I just pictured myself in my kitchen making crescent rolls for the kids. From the can, of course. 😉
I love the tickle moment, it made me smile so big. Ah, this life…
xo
Jessica says
We were using one of those ready made crusts, from the can :).
angela says
Oh, I know that moment, where I realize I haven’t been all the way present. This is a beautiful accounting of really taking in and enjoying a moment, with all of the craziness of the day going full speed ahead.
Jessica says
I’ve been trying so hard to be more present lately and sometimes I think it just draws more attention to how often I’m not. Sigh.