Solving the Mom Problem

Congratulations to commenter #39 Diana!!

There is this Mom Problem.

The one where we all think someone else is doing it better.

The mom next door has a perfect eye for fashion.

The one in front of you at pre-school pick up just finished a two hour work out at the gym and now has an afternoon of creative crafts with the kids planned.

The one next to you in line did not have to bribe her children to stand still and use their manners.

We all seem to think that someone else is doing a better job than we are.

But Jill Smokler, better known as Scary Mommy, defeats this myth in her amazing book Confessions of a Scary Mommy.

Every mom MUST READ this book.

Jill talks about the good, the bad and the really ugly of motherhood and makes us all feel human.

Because the truth is?

The only reason your neighbor’s adorable shirt is pink is because she washed a load of whites with a brand new read sweatshirt.

The mom in front of you in the pre-school pick up line has been sitting there since drop off, catching up on Facebook, in her workout clothes.

And that one whose kids are standing still in line, they are wearing kid leashes under their jackets and were promised an hour of video games when they get home.

We are all human and just doing the best we can.

So I am completely thrilled to be giving away a signed, hardcover copy of Confessions of a Scary Mommy to one of my readers because seriously, I needed to read this book.

And so do you.

Mandatory entry:

-Leave a comment telling me something you’ve done that might leave you out of the running for Mom of the Year (maybe you forgot snack day, or forgot a favorite blankie at the mall, or forgot your kid at the mall) whatever makes you feel like someone else is doing this whole mom thing better.

Additional entries:

-Make another commenter feel better. Let them know whatever they’ve done it’s not that bad. If they feel terrible for failing at homemade dinners tell them that Chef Boyardee is your best friend. The more commenters you make feel better the more entries you receive. Make sense?

Let’s all support each other in this mom gig, every day is not sunshine and roses. Unless you are Scary Mommy right now, because you just unveiled one of the best books a mom could ever read.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy by Jill Smokler is available here. I was given a copy to review for purposes of this giveaway. All opinions are my own.

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  1. Noriko says

    When my son was still quite young (just over a year) we were on our way home from the park when he became interested in a small RV in the parking lot. I was not paying close enough attention, and sure enough he reached out and grabbed the exhaust pipe from a secondary motor that was running.

    He burned his entire palm including some of his fingers. I had to run home with him screaming in my arms and his hand swelling up. His whole hand ended up being a huge blister :(

    Thankfully his hand healed with no infections and no scarring.

  2. says

    After 3 years of working on potty training my twins I’m still not done. My daughter has still NEVER pooped on the potty. EVER. Today I threw away THREE pairs of her underpants. She’s been PEEING on the potty for months. Poop? ugh. She’s going to be 5 and a half soon. Autism, yeah yeah yeah. But considered “high functioning”. I blame myself. What the #$@$%^#$^ am I doing wrong?
    sortedmegablocks recently posted..Teaching Independence

  3. says

    I feel as though I need to read a copy of this book as everyone around me has been talking about it lately and I feel left out of the loop. Maybe I can just keep it handy until I have kids on my own and want to know what to anticipate? Somehow I feel as though this would be a lot more helpful than the ol’ “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” books.

    Thanks for a great review! I think I’m going to give a copy of this book to all my mommy friends as gifts. :)
    Charlotte recently posted..ready

    • Noriko says

      This would be a WAY better book than “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”.

      The website is great as well.

  4. says

    I would love to read this book. I had never heard about it before, but it sounds like something right up my alley. I am a bit of a perfectionist….sigh….and tend to beat myself up a lot. My worst mom moment would have to be when I went outside to feed my animals at 6:30 am and my 3 week old baby was still asleep…I locked myself out of the house on accident. I didn’t have my phone or the monitor. Heck I was only outside for 2 minutes. I had to break the doorknob off the door with a sledgehammer to get in. Ooops. How embarassing!! :(

  5. Kwallca says

    A few years ago when my son was two and still breast feeding we were at the YMCA for my two daughters’ swimming lessons. While I was trying to get my freezing girls quickly dressed and warmed up, my son was repeatedly asking to nurse. I kept putting him off and when I finally turned around to tell him it was time for a drink, I found him in a stall, helping himself to a drink, with his head in the toilet. Not my best mommy moment.

  6. says

    I think part of the problem is that some moms aren’t willing to be real. It’s a frustration I’ve run into. So I choose to be around moms who do keep it real.

    I’m only a few months into this and I know I’ve messed up plenty. Like forgetting to pack snacks when we’re out or an extra diaper. My biggest heartache though is from breastfeeding. I didn’t know my milk supply was low and that’s why Donut was so fussy and not sleeping well. She lost weight and was so low on the weight charts for a while. I felt terrible. Once we switched to formula she became a new baby. I was happy that she was doing so well but felt bad that I wasn’t meeting her needs and she had no way of telling me.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Life’s Lessons: Good House Hunting

    • says

      Monkey had a poopy blowout in the car when he was 6 months old and I didn’t have the diaper bag on me. I didn’t think I needed it. We ended up at the pediatrician’s office, him naked but clean, me mortified and having to call the husband to bring clothes (I managed to find a store that sold diapers).

      As for the milk supply thing, that’s okay, you didn’t know. She’s thriving now so it’s all good!
      Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Quirks

  7. says

    So many things to choose from. . .The one that makes me cringe is that a few weeks after Sawyer was born I took the twins to Trader Joe’s. I was so proud of myself until I got home and realized that I forgot the groceries and my wallet. I know that it would have been a worse mom moment if I had forgotten one of the twins :-).
    LT recently posted..The Ocean

  8. says

    Oh, I’ve forgotten to buckle their seat belts. Um, after my second was born I forgot her in her sister’s Mommy and Me class. I wear yoga pants 90% of the time (even if I’m in public), this winter the girls got a bath about once per week. I could go on and on. :)

    By the way, this is a great idea for comments!
    christine recently posted..Two Years of You

  9. dalia elshorbagy says

    I don’t like giving my 20 months his vitamins so i intentionally ignore it some days…

  10. says

    If it makes you feel any better, as both a full time mom and a full time dad to a teenage daughter, I second and third guess myself all the time and compare myself to other parents who I think are doing a better job than I am. The reality is that I have a daughter who for nine years has little to no relationship with her mom and has had to move three times in three years, yet is getting good grades in school, playing high school tennis and doesn’t get into trouble. I guess I’m doing something right and you are too. Awesome post.
    JR Reed recently posted..Dating a 36-year-old virgin

  11. Deborah says

    I completely forgot about my now-13-year-old’s kindergarten graduation. Not only was he dressed in typical play clothes…but neither mom or dad showed up. I felt like such a heel!! Bad mom!!

    • says

      don’t feel bad… we grew up graduating only once… from High School! This biz of graduating kindergarden or elementary school and then middle school blah blah it is nuts! I know my kids are all going to want to join in the fun of it and that is fine but sheesh graduations used to be so much simpler (and easier to remember of course… only once for grade school lol) I recently learned that along with graduation from her elementary school at 5th grade my oldest will also have to proms?? 1 at the beg and 1 at the end of the school year. what??? she will be 10! lol
      Diana recently posted..Fanciful Feathers

  12. says

    The other day I worked from home in the morning because my husband had to work on a day he’s normally off so I had baby duty. Anyway, I had to get some work done so I sat Luke in the chair in fron tof the TV and gave him honey nut cheerios and felt awful about it — but ya gotta do what you gotta do.
    Amanda Austin recently posted..Celebrity Roundup: Super Gos to the rescue

  13. says

    I left my son’s blankie at home when he was staying over at my parents. When he wouldn’t fall asleep I had to walk out midway through the hunger games to pick him up. I momentarily debated staying in the theater. My bad.
    Julia recently posted..Give a Gal a Cocktail and an LBD

    • says

      Julia all I can say here is that you are a better Mom than me. heehee I can’t NOT finish a movie!! Sorry you had to walk out but you totes get a reward in my book for having done so :)
      Diana recently posted..Fanciful Feathers

  14. says

    Great post Jessica! It’s so true. I remember getting a call from the principle about some minor infraction my son got himself into once. I was talking to my neighbor who also has 2 sons and I thought she’d understand. She said, “Oh! I don’t know WHAT I’d do if I got a call like that!” As if he had been arrested or something. Sorry, my boys aren’t perfect!
    Victoria KP recently posted..The Second Inning

    • says

      lol I feel like parents are constantly putting their foot in their mouth when responding to what another parent may have done… as if at the end of the day they too don’t have their own list! By nature we all want to think we are the best parents we can be but our kids are OUR kids… no need to bother with what another person thinks about how we do what we do. Hard NOT to compare ourselves at times but if we can laugh it off more often times than not than yay for us! Life is too short to sweat the small stuff! :)
      Diana recently posted..Fanciful Feathers

  15. Rose Ann P says

    Another, my 6 yr old son, (I think when he was 4 or 5)…
    I had just come back from dropping his sister off to school. He was in his room sobbing, because he thought I left him alone. (His grandma was downstairs doing laundry).
    He was truly devastated and thought I had really left him alone. Broke my heart! :(

  16. Rose Ann P says

    One Mommy fail for me that I will never forget…
    Totally forgetting about my daughter’s 3rd Grade Breakfast. The parents go, and meet the teacher, visit the classroom and have breakfast with your child and their teacher/classmates.
    Yes, my daughter was the one in the cafetaria, watching the door, waiting for her mom to come in. I never did.
    Awful awful awful! :(
    My heart still sinks when I think about it. She is now 17 and a senior in high school.

  17. says

    LOL I can’t help but laugh at the above stories… none of us are perfect right? So with that comes a LOT of mistakes as a Mom despite trying so very hard to get it right each and every day. I felt like the best Mom in the world with my first… but it was because she was so good and not because I was doing everything right either. She was just an easy kid. Then came #2 who knew she would be a middle child even though I had no clue! I felt like I was learning to be a parent for the first time.. now by kid 3 it just seems like you are more at ease with the mess ups because you’ve grown accustomed to such. I was pregnant each time my oldest had field day and then was breastfeeding by the 3rd request. Not sure I’ve felt more awful then not being there to support her and her school so I’m constantly trying to make up for it now. I never know if I’m giving each kid their due or flaking on the one who behaves the best? It is so tricky this balancing act that Moms have to constantly pull off. I would LOVE to read this book and realize what I know at my core… we are just human and our kids will be just fine ;) xoxoxo fellow Mommas!!
    Diana recently posted..Fanciful Feathers

  18. says

    I let my son eat french fries for lunch or dinner on occasion because a) he refuses to eat anything else that day b) it’s the only bribe that works.

    I also er, let the iPad play nanny sometimes. Ahem.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Quirks

  19. says

    My scary mom moment is yelling at my middleman for not popping enough on the potty while trying to train him. Have I mentioned he’s autistic. In my defence that’s after 5 messy clean ups in 3 hours.

    • says

      I don’t know where to begin with how badly I handled potty training. When every and I mean EVERY trick in the book failed I was a raging lunatic to my son. He’s 10 now and seems pretty well adjusted, but I was such a monster over the whole thing.
      Victoria KP recently posted..The Second Inning

  20. says

    Last spring, I left my youngest child at home (she had just turned 2) when I took the older three to swimming lessons. We got halfway there and I realized she was not in the car. I full-on freaked out and let fly (at full volume) repeated 4-letter words…the whole way back to the house. I never swear in front of my kids so they were all majorly freaked, too. Our whole family was traumatized thanks to my spaced out-ness and my inability to hold it together :( Sweet girl was hiding up in her brother’s top bunk…she had realized no one was home and was scared so she hid :(
    XLMIC recently posted..Blister Care

  21. says

    I completely agree about the mompetition, it really has to stop. I’m trying to think of the worst not going to win mom of the year thing I’ve done. What about neglecting the kids all weekend (my husband was there, they were safe!) so I could read all three of the hunger games in practically one sitting? Putting on a show for my son downstairs even though his allotted TV had been met but I really wanted to catch up on Mad Men? Chicken nuggets for dinner, three nights in a week? No bath for a whole week? Paying for phonics classes at daycare but never following up at home with practices our sight words? Okay I think I named too many!
    Marta recently posted..Notes Between the Paper Sheets

  22. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger says

    I so want to read this book. Loved the first 2 preview chapters.

    I just had a mom fail today. It was egg decorating day at preschool and we were supposed to send eggs. Whoops. Sigh.
    Robin @ Farewell, Stranger recently posted..In the SIM

    • says

      I’m sure they had plenty of eggs! I was snack mom for my daughter’s kindy tball team one week. While I did remember snack I did not remember the game…showed up a day late with juice boxes in hand.
      Robbie recently posted..Exposed

          • says

            oh yes I’m bad about sending snacks… I think at 4th grade I just feel like snack time should go. Maybe that is just me. Or I figure if my daughter really feels the need to have one SHE will remember to grab such from the drawer no? But from time to time I feel bad that I don’t put forth more time to remember and pack it myself for her… at least so she has something to trade at school ;) haha
            Diana recently posted..Fanciful Feathers

    • Rose Ann P says

      Dont feel bad. We had a parent breakfast one time, and I didnt go. Totally forgot about it. :(

  23. says

    My kid was the first one out of all of his friends to make it to the emergency room due to pulling a curling iron onto himself (he’s fine and I dare you to find the scar).
    Several of his friends have made it there for different reasons and every time the mom said they felt better about it knowing I had been there already and that it happens and is normal.
    Welcome to the club, y’all.
    Mrs. Wonder recently posted..Butterfly Jungle at the Safari Park

    • says

      I remember the first time I had to take my daughter to the ER because she got her finger stuck in the VCR, under a video tape. I felt terrible and was beating myself up over how she could have done it. I have now heard 10 million stories much worse and feel so much better :).

      • Rose Ann P says

        I remember my daughter got her finger caught in the VCR also.
        She kept calling for me, and I kept saying…hold on…I’ll be there in a minute…not knowing what had happened. :(

    • Robin @ Farewell, Stranger says

      Oh, good one. That was like me when my son rolled off the bed when he was a baby. I felt AWFUL and then a few weeks later my friend’s daughter did the same thing. We commiserated.
      Robin @ Farewell, Stranger recently posted..In the SIM

      • says

        Oh Robin. Monkey has fallen off the bed several times. And off the couch. And coffee table. The last one was bad, there was a lot of blood. Fortunately, he’s okay. :)
        Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Quirks

    • says

      Don’t feel bad..I’ve been there! My son burned his hand on the iron…the one I left plugged in and on the floor. I was at work when it happened and hubs called ped who said bring him in immed.
      Robbie recently posted..Exposed