Rainbows

I commented on a photo of a rainbow someone posted, about how much I needed it, how much rainbows remind me of my daughter and how much I needed a little hello from her that minute. A well-meaning person responded with something to the effect of “I read your story and I could cry all day for you.”

If I knew this person or if I wanted to go on a crazy social media hunt to find her contact information, I would tell her thank you.

Thank you but please don’t cry.

Don’t cry for me because this is what I have.

I have rainbows if I tilt my head just the right way,

children who talk to their sister in the stars,

butterflies that flutter past, two yellow, one orange, when I wish for one more set of footprints to press in the sand.

I have extra I love you‘s and nap-free days and twenty pictures of every moment and just one more story because it is all delicate and fragile and a memory we have made that could just as easily have been taken away.

So maybe I am chasing rainbows

but I don’t miss a single color streaming by.

boys and rainbow

Linking with Just Write and Wordful Wednesday

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  1. says

    Oh, my heart. We have way more with us than what we have lost. I know that’s hard to believe sometimes, but it is so true. Sending love, as always. xoxo
    Tonya recently posted..I’m Ready!

  2. Sheila Merks says

    There is always a rainbow after sorrow. I am very much proud of your Jessica. You really are a strong woman.

  3. Kristen says

    This post made my heart feel good. You put something so hard to find words for into something beautiful. As for the photo, I think the rainbow was there with you all for a reason.
    Kristen recently posted..Relationships

  4. Monica says

    Awesome! I love rainbows, just the other day I was reading a post about rainbows, how they are scientific, we as humans create them with our own eyes. They are called photoreceptors. I love this post so much. Rainbows are a blessing in disguise, it’s God’s way of saying thank you. :)

    • says

      Nope, even when you slow down nap free days aren’t really that fun. They just take longer to go by :). We are going to be on the west side of the state a few times this summer. I will have to find out where you guys are and hopefully we can meet up.

  5. Corey Feldman says

    I love rainbows too. They are a theme in my Egret the Elephant stories. One of my favorites is Egret and the moonbow. I’m not sure how I had never noticed one until I was an adult an out running one night. There was just enough cloud cover the make a halo around the full moon. I thought of so many people when I saw it and wrote that story. Some past, some alive. Its one of those memories you just treasure.
    Corey Feldman recently posted..Latest update Anxiety Depression

  6. says

    you have such a wonderful way of communicating what so many are thinking.
    Those who are experiencing what you are and can’t find the words find such comfort in what you write.
    I hope you know how much you are helping.
    Leighann recently posted..The Hunger Games… of Pee

  7. Becki says

    So beautifully expressed- your heart is beautiful! I love the picture…it is a gift!

  8. says

    I love that you notice each and every one of these little signs. I dream that my boys will be close. That they will hold a special bond that ties them strongly together no matter how far apart they will be. I can’t tell you how much it makes my heart grow every time you mention that they talk to her, or mention her. I love it.
    Tayarra recently posted..Time to play

  9. says

    Have I ever mentioned that I love you.
    Love your outlook and that you can find her where ever your feet are planted.
    You are an amazing, strong woman…I hope that every grieving parent comes and reads this post.
    You are helping to heal hearts my friend xo
    Kimberly recently posted..Satchel

    • says

      Aww, thank you so much. I hope that people who are at an earlier stage in their grief do read this because there was a time I never thought that I would get to this place I am in. Love you and your amazing spirit too.
      Jessica recently posted..Rainbows

  10. Nana says

    They do talk about her all the time, I noticed it this weekend so many times, heartbreaking and heartwarming, both at the same time. They love her, as you love her, and I wish you did have your third set of footprints. Lots of rainbows this weekend…

  11. says

    This is lovely. Obviously there is absolutely no beauty in Hadley’s loss, but I really do believe you and your family have found such grace in your daily lives. Your words are a light that will help others find their way on their journeys of grief as well.
    angela recently posted..Happy Memorial Day