First Vacation as a Mommy

July 16, 2012 By

I feel like I should have redesigned my blog for my guest today. Maybe a red carpet, some sort of diamond-laden throne or a crown above the post title, because she is that amazing and loved and supremely talented.

I’m so honored to have Alexandra of Good Day Regular People sharing her memories of vacationing as a new mom here today. I’m sure you have read every word on her blog but if you have not you must read her tales of joining the circus, being a hypochondriac and having a teenager and then come back and read this…

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You know what I can’t believe? That I once thought vacations would always stay vacations. That for the entirety of my life, going on vacation would always mean carefree and a breeze and y’all have a good time. That not even having children would change the joy of the words “we’re going on vacation!” 

Oh how we remember the lessons we learn the hard way.

Somewhere along the line I managed to miss the connection that after having children I would be a mother. Specifically, their mother, and — that as their mother — I would be the one responsible for these children that I had had and that means I would be the one who would get things ready for any vacation that these said children would take.

Whaaaa? Right. Exactly right. You mean there’s no one else who will do all the packing for you PLUS all your kids’ packing? Right again. And no one to think about what to take, what not to take, what special needs there may be, and think about where to go, what to do, and have everyone up and fed and ready to go by 9 a.m. Saturday morning??

Yes to all of the above.

How is it possible to not know these things? I don’t know. I surprise myself on a daily basis. I mean, who did I think was going to do all this packing? Who did I see packing up and getting things ready to go for our vacations when I was a kid? I didn’t pack a thing for myself back then. I didn’t make plans or decide where we’d go or what we’d need.

Everything we needed for anywhere we went would just magically come along with us. It all just magically appeared. HA! Magically appeared as in the magic that comes from the MOTHER of me staying up until 4 or 5 a.m. packing things up for six children and then having everybody ready to go early morning.

Wasn’t I watching back then? Didn’t I even think for a minute that someday, when I was a mother, I’d be packing up the house for the kids to head to a cabin for a week? Why didn’t I realize the amount of serious work that lay ahead?? 

Who the heck knows and that’s an issue for another day but in the meantime, my point here is HOLY COW is that first vacation as a mother a brutal awakening. That first vacation as a mom; I mean, here you are, finally going someplace after being a mother for the first time in your life and you’re all excited about getting away until you figure out that you have to do the packing. Which basically means you pack up the house while you try to picture yourself wherever you’re going and crystal ball it in your mind for what you’ll need.

I remember our first vacation with our then 8-month-old baby.

Oh I’m just going to tell you this as fast as I can because I feel my heart starting to pound faster already with the PTSD trigger of this subject. My husband and I and the baby were leaving for our in-laws’ home in California. We were living in Wisconsin and I didn’t want our baby to be cold/hot/sweaty/chilly/shivery/damp/uncomfortable/scared/take your pick so I began thinking of everything I might need for California. Not need but might need. I began with emptying out the linen closet in our hallway of every thickness and weight and color of blanket. I didn’t stop until I had worked my way to the silverware drawer in the kitchen for small spoon, bigger spoon, medium spoon, spork? and emptied that drawer out, too. 

My husband, on the other hand, pulled out his itty bitty black carry-on and threw in his Bruce Springsteen T shirt and a toothbrush.
dad with baby

“My husband on our first vacation as a family. See the small black bag hanging on his hip? That would be his suitcase.”

After staying up all night packing as if we were going to a Himalayan Mountaintop Sherpa Convention, we drove to the airport with my eyes looking like the red and white swirly eyes of a hypnotist from the back of a comic book. My husband had to talk me through boarding the airplane since a minor case of sleep deprivation psychosis was beginning to show its face. With our baby attached to my chest in the Bjorn carrier, he took my arm and sat me in our aisle seats. Half conscious, I muttered, “I think I’ve got everything I hope I got everything I should have everything …”

Right before I passed out [vs fell asleep, two very different things] I remember my husband saying to me, “Sheesh, honey, RELAX. We’re going on vacation. My mom will have everything we need.

Precisely. THE MOM will have everything we need.

What the hell did he think I had stayed up all night knocking myself out for?

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I can’t thank Alexandra enough for visiting today, make sure to follow her on twitter, visit her blog and like her on Facebook.

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31 Comments Filed Under: Bloggers, Musings of Motherhood

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  1. tracy@sellabitmum says:
    July 16, 2012 at 7:05 am

    Oh this is oh so true. And I find that if I’m packing we might as well go for a month rather than the two nights planned because I have to bring the same amount of crap either way.
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  2. Alison says:
    July 16, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Hee! Our first vacation as a family, Monkey was 7 months old and we were going on a freaking WINTER HOLIDAY. So I had to think layers and all manner of cover up items for his head, hands, feet. And my husband packed a couple of tees, a jacket and a pair of jeans. Sigh.
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  3. wendy says:
    July 16, 2012 at 7:56 am

    My first vacation as a mom was to the BVI when oldest was 3 mos old. We took three flights to get to our destination– a wedding. We had sent boxes of formula and diapers ahead. We brought everything we owned. The baby slept perfectly in the humidity, and I wore her everywhere. I thought that was hard!
    Now that we have three kids under 5, I realize that first trip truly was a vacation!
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    • Alexandra says:
      July 16, 2012 at 8:45 am

      I know. I know.

      THe vacation as we know it has ended.

      Wish I just would have seen it coming b/c I would have run naked through the streets of wherever the heck we were with that last childless one. (In celebration: pre kids, my body would have been acceptable back then..)
      Alexandra recently posted..I’m OK Until I Touch It

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  4. Alexandra says:
    July 16, 2012 at 8:42 am

    Thanks for thinking of me along with the Funny Superstars you’ve featured this week. Love that I came to mind when you thought of these funny, funny women.

    Love to you, Jess! And my husband still travels with his itty bitty black bag. He has no worries.

    He’s not the mommy.

    Reply
  5. Jessica says:
    July 16, 2012 at 8:45 am

    HAHA so true! I always felt like we were moving, not going on vacation. And then, of course, we had to MOVE BACK when it was over. Exhausting!
    Jessica recently posted..Discoveries
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  6. angela says:
    July 16, 2012 at 9:39 am

    This is so true. I’m giggling.

    We’re going camping for two nights this year, though I am NOT a camper and thought I was being nice by agreeing to one night. But there’s too much packing and junk to bring to limit myself to one night. On second thought, we could probably MOVE to the campground by the time I’m done camping.

    My husband will worry about 1) his sunglasses & 2) his baseball hat. Maybe a football.
    angela recently posted..Wisdom in Groundhog Day

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  7. Sandra says:
    July 16, 2012 at 11:05 am

    First of all Jessica, I completely agree: a red carpet would have been in order, but I get it, we don’t all happen to have one just hanging around the house (but that was funny, you made me chuckle).
    And Alexandra, I so know what you mean. Very well put, and your husband is hilarious, standing there, all Mr. Chill with his suitcase hanging from his shoulder. I have purses that could eat that suitcase for breakfast.
    Sandra recently posted..Channing Tatum movies should come with a warning

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  8. julie gardner says:
    July 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

    So I’m sure you can imagine just exactly how much I packed when we actually DID attend the Himalayan Mountaintop Sherpa Convention…

    (No we didn’t. But I definitely want to go now. Because that made me LAUGH!)

    And oh yes. We mamas bear the weight of Mt. Everest on our shoulders for sure.
    It’s a little heavier than a toothbrush, no?

    Forget the suitcases.
    What about all that heaviness on our brains and in our hearts?

    You’d think we’d have to eat ice cream all day long just to keep up our strength.
    (Okay. Maybe some of us do…)

    And now? I need a vacation. For real.
    julie gardner recently posted..Teenager

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  9. Jack@TheJackB says:
    July 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    On behalf of husbands, boyfriends and men in general allow me to say that we care more than you realize. We care because we often serve as the actual Sherpa.

    I remember the first vacation as a father as a time when I proved that I could carry 983 pounds through an airport and still get up the next day without downing a case of Advil.

    Our son had every possible convenience and I learned to set aside a couple of bucks so that on the trips that followed I wouldn’t have to play Sherpa.

    Things magically disappeared from the suitcase and then were purchased at the destination. Worked like a charm and was much better for all parties.
    Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Different Worlds
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    • Alexandra says:
      July 16, 2012 at 4:42 pm

      oh mygosh and yes to holding that mirror up to my face.

      Yes, dear friend:YOU ARE RIGHT.

      My husband is the all faithful sherpa. Navigating across 5 lanes of traffic in crazy L.A. while I sit there with my hands over my eyes as he is bumper to bumper at 75 mph.

      THANK YOU.

      xo
      Alexandra recently posted..Why I’ll Be At BlogHer Again

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  10. Mark says:
    July 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    Vacations are evil! Just when I thought we were poor enough to avoid vacations, my parents went and bought a place at the beach. So during the Summer, the kids practically live out of suitcases. But in this case, a Dad packs the bags!
    I would like to add “fun post”! But to tell you the truth, I’m leaving this post today with more stress than I came in with.
    m.
    Mark recently posted.."See the pretty girl in that mirror there"
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  11. brian miller says:
    July 16, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    haha considering we are going on vacation this friday….i have packed a t shirt, a pair of shorts a swimsuit….well i guess that is about it….that is all i need right? smiles….its all taken care of…seriously why do we need 45 pair of shoes? smiles…sorry i am probably not making friends tonight…
    brian miller recently posted..Magpie Tales: Yesterday’s gone

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  12. brian miller says:
    July 16, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    oh and hey great to meet you as well…any friend of the empress…smiles.
    brian miller recently posted..Magpie Tales: Yesterday’s gone

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  13. JDaniel4's Mom says:
    July 17, 2012 at 8:24 am

    It does take hours to pack for my son and no time to get my stuff packed.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Taking Time to Play-Kindergarten & Preschool for Parents & Teachers.

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  14. Linda says:
    July 17, 2012 at 8:56 am

    I actually know what you are writing about, I can remember on our first vacation with the baby. It was quite complicated, but we have had such a great time! Fortunately, there are a lot of opportunities and programs for families as well.
    Linda recently posted..Dein Regenbogen-Panorama!

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  15. Jaime says:
    July 17, 2012 at 9:06 am

    Oh. My. Goodness!!! This is what I tell my husband ALL THE TIME!! He is all sitting around watching TV and I am running around like a crazy person washing and packing everything for our trip. Really, when I dreamed of being a mom, I think I should of dreamed of being a dad. Not that dads aren’t wonderful, but they definitely don’t seem to cary the stress that the moms do.

    Love this post.

    Reply
  16. Lu says:
    July 17, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Lol this made me laugh!!! My husband is the same only once I’ve packed he then decides cases are over the weight allowance and goes mad!!!

    Reply
  17. Charlotte says:
    July 17, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    I love that he has an itty bitty carrier around his waist. Ahhh men. They have it so good, don’t they?

    Yikes. I never even thought about this stuff. Thank god we have the internet now. I swear, this never would have even crossed my mind about taking the first vacation as a family.
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  18. Elaine A. says:
    July 17, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    I read this post on the heels of coming back from a 10-day trip to see family and friends and yes, I did all the packing. BUT. I forgot pajamas for ME and a bathing suit for ME. The kids had EVERYTHING they needed though. Yep, uh huh.

    And we went to California when our little man was 2 months old for a friend’s wedding. OH man, was THAT an interesting trip!
    Elaine A. recently posted..Birthday Bonanza
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  19. Lady Jennie says:
    July 22, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Your husband’s suitcase??? That cracks me up!

    I pack my husband’s suitcase (and my clothes overflow into it).

    Reply

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