When we found out we were expecting triplets I avoided the horror stories. I clicked away from tales of early labor, grim statistics and the unthinkable… losing a baby.
I couldn’t bear to think anything could happen to my unborn children. Truthfully, I wondered how women who suffered the loss of a child continued on. I could not imagine life after loss, burying a child and having to move forward. It was all too heart-wrenching to think about, so I never did.
Then came the day it was me,
when my husband and I found ourselves debating over a casket or an urn, trying to decide if we should hold a funeral or wait and organize a memorial when our heads were more clear.
The unthinkable had happened and I would quickly learn the answer to a question I never wanted to be asked:
How to survive.
First, you find a reason to move forward and you concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and sooner or later you have reached the end of the hallway or a crying baby or an empty refrigerator.
Next, you wake up in the morning, swallow the tears and you get out of bed. Not because you want to but because you have to. Because the school bus is coming or you are out of milk or it is Christmas.
And you repeat and repeat and repeat again, until one day your mind catches up with your body and remembers how to smile and how to live.
But this time it is not for someone else, it is for you. You deserve to feel it all, the warmth and the hugs and even the pain too. Bittersweet memories are part of your life now, who you are.
And you realize it is time to be proud of yourself.
You have survived.
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I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.
This will help someone. You are an amazing survivor. xo
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Happiness Is…
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
I’m so glad you reshared this post so that I could read it.
I’m thankful you kept going – for yourself, for your husband, for those kiddos of yours! Always think of you when I see a rainbow!
Life As Wife recently posted..Skipping Terds Instead of Rocks
Twitter: Samkanatzar
It will help. And you? Are amazing. xo
Kimberly recently posted..What Is Motherhood?
Twitter: KimberlyAMuro
I hope you are proud of yourself. Cuz it’s about time!
m.
Mark recently posted.."Come and knock on our door"
Twitter: Rsimplelives
This is beautiful…..worn and tied to my heart. Thank you XO
Chrissy recently posted..The In Between
I’ve always said you are an amazing person! This post will help so many people!
Barbara recently posted..When is sharing okay?
Twitter: babspinfrance
Yes you absolutely have. I can’t fathom a pain like that.
xo
Kimberly recently posted..Just Drive
Twitter: momgosomething
My dear girl. I have witnessed my own mother make choices like this for her child. I can’t imagine doing it myself.
Survival, whatever you call it, you’re alive and you’re getting through.
MommaKiss recently posted..Like…Magic.
Twitter: mommakiss
Your words are going to help someone today.
angela recently posted..When Costco and Pinterest Collide
This is so important to share with any survivor.
Leighann recently posted..Through Pee Soaked Purses
Beautiful thoughts, you really have to be proud of your survival. I couldn’t picture myself what I would do in a situation like that. You must be a very strong person, because you really have found the reason to move forward and you have never given it up. Your story could be very inspirational and motivational for anyone!
Manuela recently posted..Gibt es eine Alternative für chemische Sonnenschutz?
This is lovely. I too have been asked how you survive and the thing is, there is no magical cure. No magic answer. You just do. You just do…
Lizbeth recently posted..You make up my heart.
Beautiful, Jessica.
Nina B recently posted..Should Parents Attend Every Game?
Twitter: NinaBadzin
Bravo, my friend. You DO deserve to live fully and embrace every shade – the light and the dark – of who you are.
Big hugs,
Tarja
You are a strong woman. Whatever downfall you might be able to experience I know you can survive it.
Shelbie Loni recently posted..Boost your HGH Naturally
Yes – that’s it.
Hugs.
Lady Jennie recently posted..Deductive Reasoning
lovely…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..Unique Gifts Giveaway!
Twitter: notaperfectmama
So, so sweet. I’m glad you sat back and saw how great you’ve done.
I really enjoyed your post on Multiples & More as well. Thank you for sharing your stories.
Twitter: shweetmamajae
Beautiful post – I also wonder how it is possible to survive the unthinkable. Just one day at a time and if that does not work I take it hour by hour or minute by minute. Sending you hugs and peace.
Lanie recently posted..Simon’s Fund & Sawyer
Exactly, I definitely have my minute by minute days. Hope you are doing well Lanie.
Jessica recently posted..How to survive
I’m blown away by your beautiful and strong words and heart. I hope this reaches someone who needs it.
Galit Breen recently posted..Magnum Opus
Twitter: galitbreen
Thank you so much Galit, this means so much coming from you.
Jessica recently posted..How to survive
This is lovely, and the best advice. Time doesn’t stop because our hearts do. And sometimes that is so very hard to remember.
Julia recently posted..Writing Woes
Twitter: juliahembree
Wonderful as always. As so many others have already said, I do hope (and have strong faith) that your words will help many who need this kind of reassurance. You are such a brave, strong woman, and I admire you so much for it.
Charlotte recently posted..graduation
Twitter: MyPixieBlog
I loved reading this again. It’s sad, but full of so much hope, inspiration and love.
Tayarra recently posted..Girl’s Weekend
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Truly, you are the strongest mama I know on the internet. No doubt you’ve helped countless women deal with the same thing you went through, through your beautiful words. Total respect and love for you.
Twitter: bethabygp
Wow, thank you so much for such an amazing compliment Bethany.