When things are at their worst, a well-meaning person always tells me to make sure I’m taking care of myself or to get out of the house and recharge.
And I have always rolled my eyes at my sweet family and friends and then felt a little more alone than I was to begin with because they just don’t understand.
I’m usually firmly planted between a melting down teen, a little girl who I can’t cure with a hug and two boys sword fighting at my legs and eternally anchored down by the weight of grief. All of it just too much to find a way out from under. Determined to save everyone I stay right where I am, somewhere between immersed in motherhood and drowning in how fiercely I am needed.
I read a post from a fellow special needs momma I will never forget about putting on your oxygen mask and then another from an amazing talent about cherishing friendship and the two swirled in my head and took my hands and dug me out of the place I thought I had so rightly stood.
My oxygen mask has not been on for the past five years, I haven’t even lifted an arm to reach for it. My children’s are positioned to their faces, as best as they will let me and my husband is wearing his because I have expertly nagged him into breathing in when he needs to most. I have not attempted to make time for friends or clothes I like or a bracelet to go with the top I grabbed in Target while passing the women’s section on the way to get diapers and wipes.
But today I am leaving for New York. I am heading to Blogher for three days. From the moment I registered I have wavered between oh-my-gosh-what-am-I-thinking-trying-to-live-a-normal-life and look-at-me-I’m-doing-something-normal-people-do. I have leaned on friends, true friends who have spent hours with me coming in an out of a dressing room trying to find my own opinion again and who have texted and tweeted me through packing and nerves and dinner reservations.
So I am leaving for friendship and new possibilities and for me.
And when the flight attendant begins her necessary oxygen mask instructions I will be immersed in my latest book,
because I have already put mine on.
My trip to Blogher was graciously sponsored by Social Skills Central.
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I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.
I am so glad that you are taking this experience for yourself. Because it is so important to breathe. Enjoy Blogher, your book and NYC. May you be full of oxygen on your return!
Stephanie recently posted..Always Dreaming
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Have an amazing time!
Barbara recently posted..Because vacations are hard work
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Hope you have a great trip!
Olivia recently posted..Rainy day us.
Twitter: omooreart
Good for you Jessica. Have a blast.
Jaime recently posted..Larry the Cucumber Can Suck It!
You deserve this. Enjoy yourself!
Alison recently posted..Online and Offline
Lovely, just lovely.
And have fun!!!
Lizbeth recently posted..Like you couldn’t see this coming…
Enjoy your “down time”.
m.
Mark recently posted..Ow, my angst
Twitter: Rsimplelives
Have so much fun, my dear. Breathe in all that wonderful oxygen
molly recently posted..Drive-By Blogging
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Have an amazing time and breathe deeply!
Robbie recently posted..My New Best Friend
Twitter: momma23monkeys
Good for you! I hope you have a FANTASTIC time! You deserve every bit of this little break. Looking forward to hearing all about your trip!
Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Little Bitty Toys Review & Giveaway
Twitter: CourtneyKirklnd
Oh, how lovely. I’m so glad. I can’t believe that I won’t get to meet you.
anymommy recently posted..A bookworm plays baseball
I know, I’m so disappointed you won’t be there but truly, that post you wrote? It reminds me of the power of words and the force that is blogging and the support we all find here. It has stuck with me and helped me change for the better. Thank you.
You are going to have an awesome time, no doubt about it. Shoot, with facebook and iphones and all that, it might be like you’re still home, but without the clean up! Have a blast! Everyone will be absolutely fine!
Melissa recently posted..When You’ve Got Your Seasons Backwards
Very true, seeing the mess through a phone screen instead of right in front of me definitely won’t be too bad
.
This made me tear up! Have a *wonderful* time.
Jessica recently posted..What Works Wednesday
Twitter: closeenoughblog
I am SO happy that you are getting to put yourself first!! You deserve to have a fabulous time at the conference. Enjoy!!
bethanygp recently posted..Resolution Check-in
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I am so happy for you that you are taking this breather. It’s well-deserved.
Twitter: medarcie
Amazing post, Jessica. So many days i have thought, “I just don’t want to hear the word ‘Mommy’ one more time today!” and then I instantly regret it. I hope you have a wonderful time at BlogHer. You deserve it!
Leigh Ann recently posted..If you should ever meet me
Twitter: latorres
I bet you are going to have a great time at the Blogher event, that should refresh you and give some inspiration to go on with your things. Sometimes it really could be hard, but I agree, sometimes you only need to take a deep breath. I have found my method in some yoga techniques, you could give yoga a try, it really works!
Elvira recently posted..Fogpótlás a legújabb technológiával
Have a great time! NYC is beautiful!
Anna recently posted..Wanna have some daily fun?
Oh, I hope you have the BEST of times! I can’t wait to read all about your time there!
Kate F. (@katefineske) recently posted..The Parenting Battleground
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Oh I am so so so happy for you. Glad you have your oxygen mask on and have fun at BlogHer! I so wish I was going!
Marta recently posted..YOLO
Twitter: marta28
I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more…
Enjoy the fresh air. The company. The solitude.
You will be brilliant.
I wish so much I were going so we could share some of that same space…
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me chaotic…
I’m so glad you went. just sorry I didn’t get to meet you!
Robin | Farewell Stranger recently posted..Four going on 16
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Have fun Jessica!
Love, love, love!
anna see recently posted..Still Standing!
Twitter: aninchofgray
I am so glad that you went and can’t wait to read about it. safe travels. xo
Did you just breathe?
Ih ope you had a wonderful time.
The second is even better than the first.
I tell everyone: try at least two, b/c the first is the acclimation. The second you learn to just let go and relax: hope you liked the time away. It was great to see you and finally hug you.
Alexandra recently posted..Blogging For The Love of It
Such an inspirational text, I have found it really impressive. Adversities happen, there is nothing to do with that, the only thing is to handle them with care. An optimal combination of patience and activity can lead to be able to survive them, your points are all helpful in a situation like that. Thanks for sharing them, I bet they are going to help many people!
Gitta recently posted..Warum ist das Leben der Frauen teurer?
Such a lovely post. And one I think all mothers, regardless of our situations, can identify with.
Loved meeting you this weekend. And hope to see you next year!
Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..Fear and Baby Care
If I had read this before I saw you Thursday evening I would have hugged you so hard and whispered in your ear, “it really is okay.” I’m sorry that I did not get to do that.
Jennifer recently posted..Project 365, Week 31
So, so glad you did this for yourself! Hope you had a great time!
Paula @ Simply Sandwich recently posted..Is Laughter the Best Medicine?
Twitter: simplyasandwich
So glad you went. You deserved at needed it. Hope it was fantastic
I’m so jealous of all of you that went! I hope you had a fantastic time!
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..My Dinner Guests….
Twitter: notaperfectmama
I am so behind with my reader, and you are already back. I hope it was amazing for you and can’t wait to hear about it. You deserve the mask. You really do.
angela recently posted..Camping With Kids – Essence of Now