The Joy of Swimming

When I was pregnant with the triplets and my blog existed solely to share ultrasound pictures and what I ate for dinner, I used to pour over a triplet mommy forum and every once in a while this famous blogger would pop in and I would be like “oh my gosh, the Buried with Children just answered my question about diaper changing assembly lines now I am only 40 million readers and 8,000 diaper changes from being a famous blogger too.” And today she is here. (Picture me holding up my “I love Jen” sign and possibly wearing a button on my jean jacket). If I had known then that we lived in the same state I would have parked in front of her house with binoculars asked if we could meet for lunch some time.

All of this to say, I’m thrilled to have Jen of Buried with Children in all of her triplet momma hall of fame/hilarious blogger glory today.

The Joy of Swimming

Summer is about water… at least to me.

That is why during the summer, I try to spend as much time as possible around water. Fortunately for us this is pretty easy since we live in the Great Lakes State and know many friends with pools.

Not only do I really like the water, my kids do too. We all enjoy swimming in it, playing it and just being around it.

I love the water so much that when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mermaid or a dolphin that had magic powers. These powers would allow me to be a dolphin one day and a girl the next. I would spend my days as a dolphin frolicking and playing in the waves and the next day I would be a girl, back with my family. It was a really cool plan.

Ah, the innocence of childhood.

It goes without saying that I am over-joyed my kids have a love of water. Sure, they all love it in varying degrees but each one is willing to play in it and swim around. It makes this Mommy happy.

Except that for some reason when you take kids swimming they seem to absorb water into their bodies making them have to pee all the time. I don’t know if they drink a ton or if they truly are little sponges but take my kids to a lake or water and seriously, they need to pee every 3 minutes.

Thankfully, I do have boys and if we are at a lake they can just run over to a tree to quickly pee but sometimes they wait too long and oops… they pee on some innocent by-standard’s sandals.

Swimming when I was a kid and swimming now as a Mommy are two totally different things.

When I was a kid, I could spend hours upon hours playing in the waves, splashing and kicking until my legs could no longer go. Now, when I am in the water, my movement is more restricted because there is usually a child or two hanging off of me.

Also because I am a mom and because of said peeing issue, I am forced to get in and out of the water more than I would like.

This creates a problem.

You see, it is because of these water loving children that I have a little ‘junk in the truck’ and in the front and on the sides. I am not one of those women blessed with skinny thighs where they don’t touch in the middle. I got me some curves, always have and always will. And well, this presents a problem when I am around water.

When I get out of the water, my wonderful thighs hold on to a little bit of the pool or lake. And as I walk, they slowly release it making me feel like I am constantly peeing myself.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like feeling like I am peeing myself.

So like any normal person, I try to ever so discretely open my legs and stick a plush towel in there to soak up the wetness. But with my clumsiness, it is never discrete because I usually end up losing my balance and falling over a chair or child.

But even though this space or lack of space is dry, it still causes a problem.

I have dried the skin but I am still wearing a wet swimsuit which makes my skin damp which makes walking very difficult because my thighs not only touch when I stand but they rub together when I walk and add in a little bit of moisture and you get some major chaffing or worse sticking.

Ever try to get up fast when your thighs are stuck together?!

It doesnt work. The thigh close nit relationship has become even closer like two slugs stuck together in a mating ritual. There aint no getting them apart.

But children dont stop needing things just because their mothers thighs are stuck together. I still have to get up and move around. So what this means is I end up having to walk around looking like I have a stick up my ass or I walk all bow legged like a cowboy who has been on a horse for 80 hours.

The only solutionstay in the water and let daddy or grandma deal with the children which is fine with me since I can once again channel my inner dolphin.

kids in pool

See why I stalk her love her? Make sure you follow Jen on twitter, like her on facebook and visit her blog too!



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  1. says

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  2. says

    Oh man. I have the most ill fitting swimsuit bottoms known to man, that make me look like a granny with my bottoms pulled up over my post 2 c-section belly. And it just doesn’t fit right around the legs, which causes some gaping and awkwardness. So I wear my running shorts in the water, because somehow I think that looks less horrible.

  3. says

    OMG my sister-in-law and I were literally just talking about this. I think it’s like there’s an extra pocket up there after having babies that holds onto the water until you’re in the most awkward public place available before it’s “released.” Ahh. My water just broke. These babies have ruined us!

    P.S. I totally wanted to be a mermaid, too. Mostly because I wanted a sea-shell bra. Always been a fantasy of mine, though now I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable.
    hilljean recently posted..Egg On My Face: A Cautionary Tale