There will be no gardening tips here

I asked Alex of Late Enough to guest post for me ages ago. She is funny and smart and I love her strong honest voice but then I went to BlogHer. And I found out that not only is Alex an outstanding writer but she is the truest of friends you could ever ask for. So today I sort of feel walking around all day saying “look, look who is my friend and who is even on. my. blog!” Because when we text or tweet or talk I just feel lucky, lucky to have her. Oh and before I end my gushing you must, must, must read this post from Alex that will forever stand clear in my mind.

This Is Why No One Reads For Gardening Tips

My children have been boycotting the backyard. I’m not sure if it’s the possibility of running away that makes our unfenced front yard so much more fun, but they’ve refused to go back there for most of the summer. Until this week. In the rain.

But back we went because summer rain is kinda awesome, and with 2 minutes, my son shouted: OUR BACKYARD IS SO MUCH BIGGER MAMA!

At first I thought it was because he hadn’t been back there in awhile until I saw where he was standing.

Back in April we hired someone to help get our yard in order because it had been a year since we had really paid attention to anything beyond the grass. I’m not sure if the crew seeded my stones but more weeds have grown in 4 months than in the 12 months prior. A great marketing technique if I wasn’t TOTALLY ON TO THEM.

It’s not just the stones. The weeds have clearly never heard of birth control and my backyard is HOT.

weedy mulch section
This is the area that I happened let me children throw wildflower seeds so we’d have beauty that is indigenous to Virginia. But like most of my attempts to be all earthy and green, nothing ever bloomed. Although I like to pretend this section is just very green flowers that will certainly bloom into a field of awesomeness if I just wait a little bit longer. Plus, denial is way more relaxing than weeding.

Weeds, grass and dead flowers aside, I’m great with vegetables and herbs. These tomato plants are as tall as me if I was 3 feet tall!

I even got my Charlie Brown Tomato Plant to bloom.

tomato plant
I mostly got it to bloom by ignoring it so maybe I need to hang out in the front yard more, too. Plus, our tiny backyard will be HUGE by the time we go into it again.

My kids are geniuses!

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in Philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and Christian liberal by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it’s serious) about life, parenting, marriage, zombies, culture, religion and politics with special appearances by aliens, alienation and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She has a muse of a husband and two young kids who are Southern but not rude. Yet. Find her on Facebook and the Twitter, too.



Powered by Facebook Comments


  1. says

    I’m going to stitch, “In the Garden of Life, I want to be a Weed” on a pillow. As soon as I learn how to cross stitch. And find the interest to do so.

    I adore your Charlie Brown tomato plant. It’s perfect.
    Mandy recently posted..Chain Reading

  2. says

    Oh, HI ALEX! I haven’t seen you around in forever and MAN I SUCK! But it’s lovely to see your sweet little face appear here.

    Oooooh, I have to say… I think your garden looks delightful, weeds and all. But maybe that’s because I so would love to grow vegetables outside of the little containers that clutter my apartment. I gave up on tomatoes this year and am only really keeping basil, but it’s hanging on by a thread.

    Love the Charlie Brown tomato :)
    Charlotte recently posted..fragile

  3. says

    As much as I feel sorry for your poor tomato plants, I have to admit that this made me feel SO MUCH better about my paltry attempts! I didn’t even try this year, but want to give it another shot next year. Maybe I’ll grow something edible this time…?
    Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Sometimes I Don’t Wanna