I know everyone is tired of the political ads and campaigns going on right now so I’m just going to go ahead and add one more.
I need to before it’s too late.
I have less than one year to plead my case.
Less than one year until I have to send my little ones off to school with lunches packed.
Before the hysteria begins I would like to ask that the competition to create the most ridiculously creative lunch for your elementary schooler please end.
Put down that knife that is slicing grapes into one-sixteenths to make the exact replica of fish scales atop a see of pureed blueberries.
That utensil shaving the Little Mermaid’s hair out of an orange? Accidentally drop it in the whirring garbage disposal.
Don’t set foot in your car at midnight in search of raisins the size of Spongebob’s pupils.
There are some of us who are lucky to cut the crust off of a turkey sandwich without losing a finger.
Those who can’t open a box of Uncrustables without a barrage of paper cuts.
Think of our children. Our children who must sit next to yours as he sips from his drink box made of legos, his sandwich coordinating with the classroom theme of the week and his lunch box handsewn, embroidered and given a rustic finish.
They will leave our safe arms with perfectly mediocre visions of cheese sticks and pre-packaged fruit snacks and come home with shoulders hunched, heads held low, whimpering for the recreation of the second scene in Toy Story in cold cuts by the next day at 7 am.
So please, take one less trip to the grocery store, five less hours in the kitchen and enjoy waking up 5 seconds before the bus arrives like the rest of us who can barely remember to label the crayons and glue.
It’s for your good, our good and the good of children everywhere. Think of how many loaves of bread could be recycled from the discarded shavings of your built to scale Cinderella Castle. You could feed two ducks and a squirrel with those remains.
Back away from your paring knife, color-coordinated cupcake tins and drafting table, let’s return to the jelly-soaked-through-the-bread sandwiches of our youth.
It’s the least we can do. Truly, the least.
Or would that be sending money for hot lunch?? *Gasp*
Let’s not disappoint the little people (who cook on the floor in winter pajamas, at 5 am).
You might also like...
Comments
Powered by Facebook Comments
I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.
I certainly agree that the crazy Japanese-style lunches, with all their details are over the top and a bit much. On the other hand, it’s really, really easy to give kids a varied, healthful, satisfying packed lunch, without spending much time on it. I wish we could find a happy medium between Lunchables and the lunches you describe, and just focus on giving our kids real, whole foods that will fuel a long day of learning.
Sandra Kohlmann recently posted..Vegan Toddler Meals #3
Totally agree, my kids eat tons of fruits and some veggies I just don’t make any sculptures out of them
.
Yes! Yes! Yes! I’m voting for you. People are insane who spend that much time on kids lunches! I want to know if their kids really eat all that crap? Hello–picky eaters?
Robbie recently posted..I Am
Twitter: momma23monkeys
Exactly. I really do wonder if any off the kids eat that stuff. Mine would just be playing with it (or at least that’s what I tell myself to make myself feel better).
You’re brilliant!
I think you need to take this campaign to Japan. Did you know they spend 2 hours making one bento lunch box??
Alison recently posted..Why Yes, That’s A Tent In My Living Room
Are you kidding? Can you imagine? I don’t even take that long making a meal unless it’s sitting in the crock pot.
the bento box fad is killing me too! Jeez Louise! what the heck in wrong with a sandwich, some sort of fruit, and some carrot sticks in a baggie? why does everything need to be all cutely arranged and color coordinated?
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..Should I Have Another Baby?
Twitter: notaperfectmama
I know! I can’t do any of it. I can color coordinate clothes and that’s about it.
Haha, I love how bento boxes looks like but I am not talented into making them.
my first attempt was really bad.
Mickey mouse head but Mickey’s ears were not on the same size.
Althea Young recently posted..Transform Your Lifestyle with Timber Folding Doors
I’m right with you. I used to try to be fancy, but then I was tearing my hair out trying to get stuff ready and then my oldest never ate it anyway. Now for him it’s ritz bits or a yogurt and whatever else I can quickly throw in. I even gave up on sandwiches. I beg…BEG…him to buy lunch.
My middle guy (with SPD/asd) eats the same thing every single day. So no brain power or bento box there.
Count me as a supporter of your campaign!
Alysia recently posted..Keep Holding On
That’s how my oldest is, same thing every day, thank goodness. The fanciest I get is cutting off the crust, I can only imagine what’s going to happen when they go to school next year and see all they are missing.
I barely get out the door with any lunch made on time! You have no worries from me!
Brittany recently posted..Let’s Kick Some Back to School Tush
Oh good, I thought for sure you were one of those cute lunch-making moms
.
For reals.
All my son needs for kindergarten is a snack. That’s all. And yet I felt pressure to get perfect snack-sized tupperwares with his name on them.
Luckily I couldn’t find them at Target. Plastic baggies FTW!
Jessica recently posted..No Posts Were Found!
Yay for baggies! Although I have to admit when I was snack mom last year in my son’s preschool class I did search Pinterest for the perfect idea.
omg – this is hilarious. I fear it might be ME you speak of in my school. I have no idea what the other kids are eating, but I did buy those tupperware type containers with sections and I am making lots of lunches. And you know what? I got a bill for $2+change from school, so what’s she doing with my makeshift lunchables?
Seriously, tho, I’ll be posting about her lunches for fun, and you’ll see that they include uncrustables and other prepackaged business. And maybe ONE time did we use a cookie cutter to make circles of turkey. Because the child won’t really eat the bread, so I have figured crackers and similarly shaped items might be worth a shot.
Andrea recently posted..Split down the middle.
Twitter: goodgirlgonered
Oh no Andrea, you’ve got to stop to save the rest of us
! That is so funny you ended up with a bill, she’s probably trading her cute stuff then buying an extra snack or two.
I don’t get that fancy with the lunches, like making them look like stuff and all that but I do have fun packing them. I’m laughing since I’ve been doing the Beyond Bologna posts these last few weeks with some other blogging friends… lol!
And GREAT idea to save the extra bread pieces for the ducks at the park!
Elaine A. recently posted..Grandparent Gifts & Miss Elaine-ous Monday
Twitter: elainea
Elaine! Stop it, grab a baggie and a brown paper bag and let the rest of us off the hook
.
Are parents really competing on the packed-lunch front?! That’s one less thing to look forward to one day, then ….
Thank you for your sweet and inspirational comment on my blog the other week. I really appreciated your thoughts and well wishes, and am so sorry about the loss of your daughter.
Elizabeth :: Bébé Suisse recently posted..The official report of the recently convened reproductive decisions convention, in words and pictures.
I’ve been seeing pictures of the lunches everyone is making all over the place. Pinterest is full of them. Let’s hope it’s just the minority of moms.
Its a great stuff for the kids..GREAT idea to save the extra bread pieces for the ducks at the park!
Tracie recently posted..tinnitus treatment
THANK YOU!!!! I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one. I pinned all that crap but I can’t ever imagine having the time. I can barely throw a sandwich, apple, and granola bar in the lunch bag.
Jaime recently posted..News Bulletin!! Hell Freezes Over, Talking Goat is Elected President, and Pigs Sprout Wings
Simply, Jessica, this made me laugh.
I’m reminded of the school lunch scene in Uncle Buck — and I’m pretty sure that will be my kids when it’s time for Daddy to pack lunches.
John recently posted..Where I think about habits
Twitter: daddyrunsalot
This mad me giggle. Because I am most definitely NOT that mom. I think all the little lunches are cute as can be, but my kid eats cereal and poptarts for breakfast, so we’re lucky if he gets in a decent looking sandwich for lunch. I didn’t realize that school lunches had become such a competition until this year. I blame Pinterest.
Courtney Kirkland recently posted..29 Week Bumpdate
Twitter: CourtneyKirklnd
I saw all those sandwich makers at Pottery Barn Kids and I rolled my eyes. Who has the time????
Nina B recently posted..The Biggest Closet Purge Ever
Twitter: NinaBadzin
I would be happy enough if my son eats whatever is on the school lunch menu.
Diane recently posted..American Airlines – the Official Airline of Todd Akin
Twitter: OneLoCoMommy
now WAIT just a minute!!! are you telling me that when Goose starts kindergarten I’m going to have to send FOOD with her? and there is actually more to the process of creating those fancy-schmancy lunches than just pinning and re-pinning them?? CRAP. my kids are screwed.
Rusti recently posted..UPrinting business card GIVEAWAY!!
Twitter: rustilyn
ha! i hear you. i have a pinterest board called “cute kid lunches i’ll never make,” though to be honest a lot of it doesn’t really take that long if you have the right kitchen stuff.
anna recently posted..You Can Crochet!
Yes! Down with Bento box lunches.
(Sorry if you get a ton of comments from me. Your site doesn’t like me)
Jen recently posted..School: One Week Down… Many to Go
I am the hot lunch mom!
I’m with you, baby. Ban the Bento Box. Reclaim leftover spareribs and a smear of cream cheese on a Wheat Thin!
Ninja Mom recently posted..What, me? PicMonkey?
Its a nice campaign….I didn’t realize that school lunches had become such a competition until this year.
Charlotte recently posted..dry mouth
Hilarious. I loved this, especially the “jelly-soaked-through-the-bread sandwiches of our youth.” It’s so true!!
Chaunie@TinyBlueLines recently posted..What’s Your Biggest Fight With Your Husband?
Twitter: tinybluelines
Mine were always soaked with jelly, they were awful and did you get the semi-warm milk too?
Jessica recently posted..A new campaign to add to all the other campaigns
Go ahead and get ready to hate me. I am an overachieving lunch maker. I even have a whole series on my blog to promote it right now. But, I have an excuse: I don’t cook dinner. Seriously, The Dudes pretty much survive on frozen taquitos and the occasional dinner from the grocery store cafe. I’m too busy after school, and they have so many activities, and we don’t get home until like 8:30 every night. So I make them a healthy lunch, that is fun so they will eat it, to make up for the fact that the guy at McDonald’s knows our friggin’ order. I will slack off again in the winter when the schedule resumes a normal level of un-manageability. Until then, I have to oppose this vote. Otherwise I’m pretty sure my children will actually turn into corndogs. Or tatertots. Or something.
dumb mom recently posted..Dumb Mom’s Guide to Simplifying Laundry.
“his drink box made of legos, his sandwich coordinating with the classroom theme of the week and his lunch box handsewn, embroidered and given a rustic finish” – That part made me actually LOL. I am not crafty enough to make beautiful food like that. Or, really, much of anything very beautiful. BUT I will sometimes arrange their food in a happy face on their plates.
Jessica recently posted..When forgetting is ok…
Twitter: closeenoughblog
You know who pulls this crap? The same moms who create, produce, and direct elaborate Elf on the Shelf productions. Would everyone please just stop the madness!
In all seriousness, it would’ve never even occurred to me to make fancy school lunches for my kid. Are being clueless and being an underachiever one and the same?
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..On Girlfriends and Play Dates
Twitter: SaidKristin
Those over achieving lunch makers are C-R-A-Z-Y.
It’s all I can do to tell my daughter to slap some nutella on a few slices of bread and make a piggy out of them.
angie recently posted..Keeping Lunch Fun with Piggy Shaped Nutella Sandwich
Okay, if it’s just nutella and then a piggy then I can handle that, two steps is enough for me
.
Oh my gosh – this is so brilliant and so true! You had me laughing from my toes. I felt this exact way when my son and I were in Mommy and Me. Some moms had the “over the top” approach to the snack and I would just cringe!
Paula @ Simply Sandwich recently posted..Tackling Mama Projects Together
Twitter: simplyasandwich
Hilarious!!! I packed an enormous lunch the first day. Not fancy, just enough to feed the whole class. She ate about a quarter of it. Now we are down to a formula. I did back myself into a corner with the animal cookie cutters for the bread…learn one from me and just don’t go there. I will never be able to stop
Clomid and Cabernet recently posted..The Perfect Handstand
Twitter: katiefhurley
Lunch for kids, really it’s making a job of joys, which i like always.
Glen Tanner recently posted..Ray J Denies Singing with Victor Ortiz
Thank you for taking up such an important cause! Making lunches is hard enough (not to mention whatever I make seems to come back home at the end of the day completely untouched . . .). xo
Lanie recently posted..Anniversaries (repost)
Now, this is one campaign that I can stand behind proudly!
And? You crack me up!! My girlfriend and I were just texting one another about the time and creativity it takes to cut off crusts, pull our the cookie cutters and make fun animal faces with our kids lunches this morning! I will be sending her this post.
Tonya recently posted..Where I Write To My Dearly Departed Self
Twitter: letters4lucas
Oh, how this cracks me up! (The comment about raisins the size of Sponge Bob’s pupils made me do a spit take with my Diet Coke.)
I’ll gladly sign on to your campaign!
Kristen @ Motherese recently posted..When it Comes to Money, Who Wears the Pants in Your Family?
Twitter: Motherese
Yay, thanks, hopefully between the um, 10 of us I have recruited we can turn things around
.
Jessica recently posted..A new campaign to add to all the other campaigns
Lunches are my “Newman”. Seriously hate packing. And I have to add morning & afternoon snacks too. HATE!
Twitter: mommakiss
Yeah, I do not enjoy packing lunches, my oldest does her own now but I will be heading into a new phase of packing them all over again soon. Sigh.
Jessica recently posted..A new campaign to add to all the other campaigns
Hear, hear! Don’t these people have anything better to do with themselves?? (Ok really I’m just jealous).
I’m not sure how I missed this post! I usually read all of them!
I couldn’t agree with you more! My kids either make their own lunch or get hot lunch at school… and that’s as good as it gets! Lunch is in a brown bag too! Nothing cutesy unless I find some character printed lunch bags at the dollar store.
Jackie recently posted..From then to now….
I know, it was so much simpler when my teen was young.
love this post! i so wish our school had a cafeteria! i love wednesdays, when they order dominoes pizza!
anna see recently posted..Oh My Goodness
Twitter: aninchofgray
Wait, people really do this? I thought it was all a Pinterest fantasy. People don’t actually make stuff from Pinterest do they? Do they??
Oops. Mom fail.
I do ask my son if he would like squares or triangles when I cut his sandwiches, though. That seems to work here.
Julia recently posted..What Do You Do All Day?
Twitter: juliahembree
I can’t stop laughing!
Not only do I not have the inclination to buy super special plastic boxes for their lunch (our regular assortment of mismatched gladware will have to do), I think they would be humiliated to have their sandwich look like a walrus with baby carrot tusks. My 12 year old buys lunch every day (it is not “cool” to bring lunch in middle school he assures me), and my 9 yo daughter is happy to see her food without supreme artistic effort on my part, thank goodness!
The Dose of Reality recently posted..Damn You, Amazon.com