Last week we had gorgeous weather. I packed lunch and took the kids to the park so we could soak up the last of the sun. Minutes after we sat down and I had finished opening sandwiches and drink boxes and chasing napkins, the ducks came. Surrounding our table they were waiting for any crumb to fall and when the crumbs didn’t fall they got closer so that they could bite off our fingers as we gripped our pb&j’s (I am not exaggerating, one beak = full length of one 5 year old finger). There was nothing left to do but
freak out and climb on the picnic table lift my children to safety.
Once I realized the ducks were not leaving I
launched a sandwich 20 feet away and instructed the kids to run told the kids we should move to another spot and calmly led them to the van.
After lunch and a duck-free park we ran to the store for a few kid-sized rakes. On our way to the gardening section my boys veered into the Halloween area and headed down the mask aisle. Paralyzed with fear, I instructed them to come back here right. this. minute. and stayed in my happy place of pumpkin and flower costumes. Sawyer rounded a corner and it was clear that I was going to have to go through the mask aisle to get him.
It was at this heart pounding moment that I realized…
I am not their fearless leader.
My heart was not beating out of my chest for fear of my son’s whereabouts (he was making enough noise that I knew he was fine), I was scared out of my mind of that mask aisle, I had never been down one in my whole life…
nor to a haunted house, or a spooky hayride or a house with blinking lights and a person in a costume not clearly identifiable from the sidewalk.
I have been digging through my childhood for years trying to find something that scarred me, leaving me a wimp for life, but I’ve come up with nothing other than years and years of looking at my feet while trick or treating and going to Kmart in October.
So I must say this, as I hope someday my children read my blog for a glimpse of my life.
Yes, I am a wimp and yes I may be responsible for your irrational fear of things with beaks, but I will never ever leave you to fend for yourself in life. I will hold your hand through heartaches and fight for your rights in school and do my best to give you all the tools you need to be exactly what you want to be…
as long as it’s not a mask-wearing duck. Then you’re on your own, kids.
Is there anything you are afraid of that might surprise people (or make me feel better)?
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