Last week we had gorgeous weather. I packed lunch and took the kids to the park so we could soak up the last of the sun. Minutes after we sat down and I had finished opening sandwiches and drink boxes and chasing napkins, the ducks came. Surrounding our table they were waiting for any crumb to fall and when the crumbs didn’t fall they got closer so that they could bite off our fingers as we gripped our pb&j’s (I am not exaggerating, one beak = full length of one 5 year old finger). There was nothing left to do but freak out and climb on the picnic table lift my children to safety.
Once I realized the ducks were not leaving I launched a sandwich 20 feet away and instructed the kids to run told the kids we should move to another spot and calmly led them to the van.
After lunch and a duck-free park we ran to the store for a few kid-sized rakes. On our way to the gardening section my boys veered into the Halloween area and headed down the mask aisle. Paralyzed with fear, I instructed them to come back here right. this. minute. and stayed in my happy place of pumpkin and flower costumes. Sawyer rounded a corner and it was clear that I was going to have to go through the mask aisle to get him.
It was at this heart pounding moment that I realized…
I am not their fearless leader.
My heart was not beating out of my chest for fear of my son’s whereabouts (he was making enough noise that I knew he was fine), I was scared out of my mind of that mask aisle, I had never been down one in my whole life…
nor to a haunted house, or a spooky hayride or a house with blinking lights and a person in a costume not clearly identifiable from the sidewalk.
I have been digging through my childhood for years trying to find something that scarred me, leaving me a wimp for life, but I’ve come up with nothing other than years and years of looking at my feet while trick or treating and going to Kmart in October.
So I must say this, as I hope someday my children read my blog for a glimpse of my life.
Yes, I am a wimp and yes I may be responsible for your irrational fear of things with beaks, but I will never ever leave you to fend for yourself in life. I will hold your hand through heartaches and fight for your rights in school and do my best to give you all the tools you need to be exactly what you want to be…
as long as it’s not a mask-wearing duck. Then you’re on your own, kids.
I may give Buzz a real laser this year, for the ducks.
Is there anything you are afraid of that might surprise people (or make me feel better)?
You might also like...
Comments
Powered by Facebook Comments
I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.
Fruits that have seeds. I run from watermelons. And birds! OMG the birds…
Bec Oakley recently posted..How To Help a Selective Eater
Twitter: becoakley
Fruits that have seeds? I am laughing out loud. What could potentially happen with these fruits? (you know because I need another fear)
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
The seeds are HIDING, Jess. Like tiny ninjas waiting to choke me.
Bec Oakley recently posted..How To Help a Selective Eater
Twitter: becoakley
Maybe if you had a duck he could pluck the seeds out for you.
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
I love your vulnerability here. I hate when animals act like those ducks, mobbing a picnic. I’ve had that happen with chipmunks, and I ran to the car, leaving the rest of family to fend for themselves. They were in their teens; if they’d been small, I’d have grabbed them on my way.
Ginger Kay recently posted..Is your child too old to trick-or-treat?
Twitter: AFadedGinger
I did grab the kids so I guess I’m not as scared as I could be…
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
This made me giggle. I actually have a cousin who is petrified of birds. Birds of all kinds- ducks, pigeons, sea gulls…you name it. I can’t think of much that I’m really scared of except that mask that the killer wears in the Halloween movies (Michael Meyers). The movies themselves don’t scare me…but something about the simplicity and the hollowness of the eyes of that solid white mask creeps me out. ::Shiver::
Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Are you Ready?
Twitter: CourtneyKirklnd
I’ve never seen any of those movies, not a single one.
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
Birds of all kinds freak me out too!
Barbara recently posted..From Sunshine to Rain Drops
Twitter: babspinfrance
Yes, they can swoop down and get us at any time, totally agree!
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
I would have freaked out too, I’m working on it, but I have a fear of birds.
Corey Feldman recently posted..Sex
Twitter: coreyjf
Apparently there are a lot of us who are scared of birds.
I am completely afraid of velour. And cotton balls. Truly. I can’t touch or look at either. I run.
Alysia recently posted..Love And Understanding
Ewww, this comment just have me the shivers. I’m not afraid of either but I cannot stand the feel of them. Where do our kids get these sensory issues from
???
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
One time at the zoo, a Canada Goose stole my two year-old’s hot dog.
I’ve been on my own for a lot of my life, so I am pretty afraid of things, but I am also ready to be my own “bad acre”. “Courage is not the absence of fear,” didn’t someone say?
After all, you delivered them from their distress.
Maggie S. recently posted..It’s That Time of Year Again
Twitter: AccidentalDesig
I did, didn’t I? Feeling much more brave now
.
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
Wooden bridges. Loose teeth. Millipedes. Thunder. I have a huge fear of frozen food at the grocery store that I think someone may have walked around with it in their cart for an extended period, let it thaw, and then it was stuck back into the freezer. I dig to the back for food, never take the last of something, and still have my stomach go into a knot if anyone feels the slightest bit off after we eat something, because I am convinced we are all going to have food poisoning. At the same time. My stomach hurts now just thinking about it. And I may have launched my daughter off of my lap when I found lice running around in her hair. I will neither confirm nor deny.
Tara (nerdgirlmom) recently posted..It’s the End of the World
Twitter: nerdgirlmom
OH. MY. GOSH. How could I never before have been petrified of the frozen food issue? Thank you for adding to my paranoia. And loose teeth? Like the blood aspect of them or what and how are your children managing through these fears?
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
Umm…you’re welcome? And my eldest has digestive problems today…I may have thrown a bunch of food away out of fear. And the loose teeth is that I can’t stand seeing them wiggle, or the thought of pulling it. It’s not the blood, it’s the socket that bothers me I think…it just creeps me out and I have to run away. My kids seem to take great delight in scaring me, so I think they’re okay. I’ve also written them out of the will.
Tara (nerdgirlmom) recently posted..It’s the End of the World
Twitter: nerdgirlmom
I won’t think that parenting would mean fearless leadership or anything like that. The relationship between child and parent is an optimal combination of emotional and educational parts which helps the child’s mental growth.
Heni recently posted..Fogpótlás híddal vagy implantációval
I can completely relate… I try so hard not to put my fears on my kids.
Mine are already totally braver than me, maybe my fear has caused them to realize that someone else around here needs to be the tough one.
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
Hahaha…oh gosh, I am cracking up right now. Those ducks must have been starving! I think I would have done the same thing.
xo
Runnermom-jen recently posted..A Love Story…and pumpkins
One of the ducks seriously stayed in that spot and would not move, they were obsessed, I swear, who knows what they would have done if I had not moved us to safety
.
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
I can always count on you to make me smile:) I love that about you, by the way. And…bridges. The long high as the Sears Tower kind as well as the putt putt golf variety. XO
Chrissy recently posted..The Gentle Fall
Oooh, you just reminded me that I hate ledges. I can’t stand being up high with an open ledge. *shudder*
Hope you are well!
Jessica recently posted..I am not your fearless leader
Not sure if “scared” is the right word, but I am disgusted by band-aids. Just the thought of them being on me or anybody else makes me shudder. When I go to the doctor to get shots, I rip them off the second I’m out of sight. I take them off my kids. When hubby cuts his finger and wears one to bed, I am sick all night that it is going to fall off and get stuck to me. I once applied hours of pressure to my finger after slicing it with a knife, and when I got it to stop bleeding for a minute put tons of that liquid skin stuff on it before it could bleed again. Just to avoid a bandaid.
Amy recently posted..A Conversation with Two Three-Year Olds
Oh my gosh, I’ve never heard that one Amy. Is it the feel of them?
Oh love this, you!
I’m afraid of big bugs (sometimes) and the dark (sometimes) and small spaces (sometimes) and dogs I don’t know (sometimes).
Le sigh – I’m afraid that by “sometimes” I mean “always?”
But the being there for them always – for love and for fight and for safe? That I’ll do. Always.
{Love this one, girl!}
Galit Breen recently posted..Running My First 5k
Twitter: galitbreen
I don’t like small spaces or dogs I don’t know either, or really any animal. See you are feeling more brave already aren’t you
?
your kids themed! Blake has been trying to get his sibs to theme for years and no one ever will, Jack just to be a prick and Hope always wants to be a princess….but yours look so cute!
I’m afraid of being abducted by aliens in the middle of the night….I’m not kidding…I sleep totally under the covers, head and all so they don’t see me, but then I feel guilty because they’ll get Eric…
I think I wrote about it before…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..The Problem With Spin
Twitter: notaperfectmama
I wish I were only afraid of aliens since they wouldn’t interfere with my daily life, unless they landed, of course.
That pic was last year, this year I couldn’t talk them into a theme, so sad.
Sometimes I am afraid of the dark, and bees (especially in front of my kids- I hate it!) and the unknown…
Steph
Stephanie Precourt recently posted..Hand!
Twitter: babysteph
That’s my problem, I can handle being a wimp but being a wimp in front of my kids is the hard part.
I am horrified of heights. Like using the 6 foot ladder to paint a room makes me woozy and panicky. Like seeing someone on TV near the edge of a cliff or at the top of something tall – my heart starts beating fast, my palms get sweaty, and I feel a bit dizzy. Horrified of heights!
I’m not a huge fan of bugs or the dark. But I don’t have panic attacks with those. Heights = panic attacks. Does that mean it’s a phobia?
Anne@AlwaysHalfFull recently posted..What I’ve Learned In Preschool
I have a hard time with heights and ledges too, standing anywhere near an open area overlooking anything is terrifying.
We went to go feed the ducks and all of a sudden I hear D say “Hi, Duck” and I turn around and this giant white thing is 2 feet from us and is coming after that bread with no fear. Heck yeah I ran. Haven’t been back since either.
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Trick or Tantrum
Sounds like me, I don’t think we will ever be heading back to that park either.
This is because confident people are more likely to face challenges with courage and persistence. While it may take time to develop a fearless attitude when facing adversity, doing so can be well worth the effort. Transforming a man into a fearless man involves inspiring his self-confidence and helping him eliminate self-doubt.
Jackie recently posted..yeast infection guide
I can’t read scary books because my imagination is so overactive. And yep, masks freak me out. Especially on the 6 year old twins next door.
Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..Dragons and Tails and Wings
That’s exactly me! I was afraid to answer the door for a few of our trick-or-treaters.
Masks, huh? I mean, I can see why those haunted houses scare you–people jumping out of dark corners screaming bloody murder isn’t really my thing either. But the lifeless masks in the Halloween aisle? There must be a scar in there somewhere
Darcie recently posted..Redesign reveal: boy bedroom
Twitter: medarcie
The kids are sooo cute with their costumes! I am afraid of worms! I can’t explain that, but can scream to death when I see one.
Greta recently posted..Cupcake Decorating Ideas
Moths. *runs to wash out my own ears at the sound of the word*
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..Summing Up My Week(s)… (04/07/13-04/21/13)
Twitter: LetMeStart
OK, ducks and geese are sCARY! I have been chased before and those things are mean, fast, and have sharp little beaks! I would have reacted the same.
Alexa (katbiggie) recently posted..Oh to Be a Better Blogger!
Twitter: katbiggie
Ditches, bridges, and cars coming toward me. I am pretty sure most other drivers are suicidal nutjobs who’s only goal is to drive into me and run me off the road into a ditch, where my car will flip over 4 times then burst into flames. The therapist says I have to learn to trust more, but I think the only reason people don’t do it is that it’s illegal and they’re more afraid of jail than I am of ditches. I always have an escape plan,if someone’s coming toward me. I also drive a lot of back roads.