Stop the world

The end of October is much easier than the beginning.

The funny thing about grief and anniversaries is the days and weeks leading up to them are so much worse than the actual days themselves. My life exhales after we pass these dates each year and our world goes on again, different, as it always will be, but closer to normal than it was just days before.

But when I hear of another loss, another mother who has lost a child, life comes to a screeching halt again. I find myself unable to deal with minutiae and small talk and opening the mail. All I can think of is the unfathomable loss of a child gone too soon and the road of painful acceptance this mother now must walk.

I remember after we lost Hadley wondering how people could continue on with their days. There is another mother out there wondering just that today. Stop your day for her for a second, kiss your husband or your children or your pet or all of them.

Let your world pause and take in the view when you’re not dizzied by a spinning day.

The best way to remember is to never forget.

walking on beach

remember

The McCarthy family tragically lost their 11 year old daughter this week, if you would like to donate to the fund set up to assist their family you can click on the link in my sidebar. Thank you.

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  1. Jessica, that’s a beautiful post. You’re right “The best way to remember is to never forget.” Thinking of your family at this time and sending love.

  2. Hearing news like that really stops you dead in your tracks. As a fathers (or mother) most of us can barely assume how these families must feel. Even from the outside the thought of kids leaving us so early hurts.

    While my thought and wishes are with everyone facing such tough times I’d like this to also be a reminder or wakening call for us: how are we spending out time? What are we engaging in and what do we fill our busy schedules with.
    Philipp Knoll recently posted..Interview with Andreas Tschas
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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I just found your blog and look forward to reading more about you and your family. I agree that the day leading up to an anniversary of loss is always worst than the actual day.

  4. I couldn’t imagine dealing with the loss of a child. Couldn’t even fathom how I’d do it. You are so strong and my heart goes out to any mother who has ever had to walk that road or ever will.
    Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Four
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  5. This is so beautiful. I tried to capture today in my heart because of the weather, and now reading this makes me even more grateful.
    angela recently posted..Our Party Scene

  6. ((hugs))

    my heart is heavy after reading this. time is so precious…

    Maybe you will find some comfort in this quote, “It’s not “if” we will lose the things we love, but when- but as lose, can we not gain a deep knowing that in the presence of grace, love is eternal.”
    Olivia {I am still learning} recently posted..smile

  7. You’re a great friend, to not only let this mother know you’re thinking of her but to also ask us to. In her honor, I kissed my kids 54326 times this morning. That’s 2 more than normal ;)
    Mommakiss recently posted..Life as a lefty
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  8. Thank you for this post- and all your posts. We lost our daughter, Lilly, at just 21 weeks gestation and your comments hit home so many times. We are also a family that is “plus an angel”. The best way to remember is to never forget.

  9. The best way to remember is to never forget. My prayers are with the families that have lost a child.
    Barbara recently posted..Halloween a l’Americaine
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  10. I am with you always remembering and never forgetting. So glad that the end of October is easier for you. There is always an odd sense of bittersweet relief after making it through another anniversary/birthday/holiday season.

    My thoughts and prayers are with the McCarthy family. I wish that none of us lived in a world without our child/children. Beautiful post. Sending you hugs and hope. xo
    Lanie recently posted..Life without you

  11. **I remember after we lost Hadley wondering how people could continue on with their days. **

    I still wonder this.
    every. single. day.

    Beautiful post. Xxxxx
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