Since my kids are so close in age we have never really needed to invite friends over. They either play with each other or keep me spinning in so many circles that I am unable to actually leave the home and find them a suitable playmate so we stay home entertaining ourselves with a never-ending game of dress up and a few disastrous crafts here and there.
Something is happening around this four/five-ish age. My kids are figuring out there is a world out there and not just any world, but a world of kids who might bring over a newer/better/more breakable toy than we already have and who might also like to share and not tell on them for eating cereal behind the couch.
Along with our new venture into Play Date Land has come a revelation… we may be unplaydate-able for several reasons (I stopped at five, I figured that was more than enough evidence).
Why we are unplaydate-able
1. We speak in tongues. No one understands us but us.
Growing up so close in age, my children have created all kinds of phrases that make no sense to anyone else on the planet. “Hit it in play” = turn the movie on, “girl ranch” = diary-free ranch dressing, of course.
2. Some words aren’t bad words they are just from a movie.
My son didn’t say “idiot” he said “eejit”, we let him watch Shrek too many times, plus I think it’s even Irish and so are we. Time outs require a greater offense.
3. When we change we CHANGE.
Since we’re all usually just family around here, no one blinks at stripping down to your undies before putting on the latest dress up clothes of choice. We’ve now instituted a “no taking off your pants in front of company” rule but it might be too late.
4. Our manners are, um, not impeccable.
I try, I really do, but while I’m stopping one child from saying “butt crack” and another from eating with the opposite end of her fork I might miss the one chewing like a farm animal and before I know it our sweet little guest will be “nom, nom, nomming” right along with him, reversing her years of well-taught table manners.
5. We have no shame.
Every thirty seconds brings with it a call to “wipe me” or someone tripping over pants at their ankles because they are “stuuuuuck!” or that same someone forgetting to empty their little potty into the big potty before our guest heads into the bathroom and falls into the potty seat thus scarring her cute little pig-tailed head for life.
Hopefully the world of children under six and their parents are forgiving. Sooner or later my children’s plan to marry each other is going to get cracked wide open and they are going to need some alternates.
Do your kids do things at home that other kids would think are a little odd or is it just mine?
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