We are unplaydate-able

Since my kids are so close in age we have never really needed to invite friends over. They either play with each other or keep me spinning in so many circles that I am unable to actually leave the home and find them a suitable playmate so we stay home entertaining ourselves with a never-ending game of dress up and a few disastrous crafts here and there.

Until now.

Something is happening around this four/five-ish age. My kids are figuring out there is a world out there and not just any world, but a world of kids who might bring over a newer/better/more breakable toy than we already have and who might also like to share and not tell on them for eating cereal behind the couch.

Along with our new venture into Play Date Land has come a revelation… we may be unplaydate-able for several reasons (I stopped at five, I figured that was more than enough evidence).

Why we are unplaydate-able

1. We speak in tongues. No one understands us but us.

Growing up so close in age, my children have created all kinds of phrases that make no sense to anyone else on the planet. “Hit it in play” = turn the movie on, “girl ranch” = diary-free ranch dressing, of course.

2. Some words aren’t bad words they are just from a movie.

My son didn’t say “idiot” he said “eejit”, we let him watch Shrek too many times, plus I think it’s even Irish and so are we. Time outs require a greater offense.

3. When we change we CHANGE.

Since we’re all usually just family around here, no one blinks at stripping down to your undies before putting on the latest dress up clothes of choice. We’ve now instituted a “no taking off your pants in front of company” rule but it might be too late.

4. Our manners are, um, not impeccable.

I try, I really do, but while I’m stopping one child from saying “butt crack” and another from eating with the opposite end of her fork I might miss the one chewing like a farm animal and before I know it our sweet little guest will be “nom, nom, nomming” right along with him, reversing her years of well-taught table manners.

5. We have no shame.

Every thirty seconds brings with it a call to “wipe me” or someone tripping over pants at their ankles because they are “stuuuuuck!” or that same someone forgetting to empty their little potty into the big potty before our guest heads into the bathroom and falls into the potty seat thus scarring her cute little pig-tailed head for life.


Hopefully the world of children under six and their parents are forgiving. Sooner or later my children’s plan to marry each other is going to get cracked wide open and they are going to need some alternates.

pirate costume

Do your kids do things at home that other kids would think are a little odd or is it just mine?

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  1. says

    Not only are we also unplaydate – able but I did not even realize it! Planning play dates never entered my mind. Fletcher and Alyssa always seemed to play with each other. I am still trying to figure out how to become playdate-able. If I figure it out I promise to share. xo
    Lanie recently posted..Elections & Explanations

    • says

      Sounds good. Mine are the same, they are perfectly happy to just play with each other. It’s just been lately that we’ve invited kids over and it’s shocking to see how much we are not ready for the rest of the world :).

  2. says

    Um, this all sounds perfectly normal to me. We would invite you over to play.

    (On that note, just had my friend Amina and her 4 kids, age 4-8 over to play with my 3. Chaos! But we thrive on chaos).
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Dining in Tranquility

  3. says

    Cady was five when we had her first big birthday party at the house with friends from school over. I was shocked to find all of the little girls exiting her bedroom decked out in her dress up clothes and nothing else. “Where are your clothes?!” And in my head, “WHAT ARE THEIR PARENTS GOING TO THINK?!” Luckily everyone was back in their own duds by the time the parents came, and the ones that weren’t had really, really understanding parents.
    Jennifer recently posted..After the disaster

  4. says

    this sounds so very familiar. mine are now a bit older but we are still pretty home-centric and they are best friends and play together all the time. i like it – it means i don’t have to pick up or worry about what i’m wearing like i would if we had people over for playdates :)

    • says

      I feel the exact same way which had me worried that I was going to turn us all into a bunch of introverted hermits but I’m feeling so much better after reading everyone’s comments.

  5. says

    Oh, Jessica, ALL kids are freak sandwiches with a slice of Wipe Me.
    My daughter incorporates the word “vulva” into every other sentence and sings traditional songs in which she switches the real words for both made-up words and “poop”.
    My son tries to speak but then starts laughing so hard he cries and falls on the floor and then it’s all over.
    The end.
    Feel better? Come on over anytime, we’d love to play.
    Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..How I Kick Jedi Ass

  6. Sarah says

    I am right there with you. My three are just barely potty trained and are so used to playing with each other that adding another shocks their systems a bit. We do it anyways. Thankfully, I have very forgiving friends.

  7. says

    I don’t think you are un-playdate-able. Aren’t most families like this? My son picked up the word “stupid” from some animated movie we let him watch and now we have to tell him not to say it in public.
    Barbara recently posted..Disappointed