I read a powerful post last week from the ever-insightful Vikki of Up Popped a Fox on the criticism over Jodi Foster’s acknowledgement of her sexuality at the Golden Globes. My children are sitting atop the rock I live under, watching Nick Jr 24/7, so I had no idea of the controversy.
I have a very close family member who is gay. I remember the day he told me and how excited I was. Not that I was happy he had spent years struggling over his identity and debating on his level of comfort in his own skin, but that he was finally in a place of sharing his life with the people who love him most.
At the same time I was overwhelmingly sad because he shouldn’t have to tell me at all.
Growing up a straight female I don’t remember a single moment of anguish over when I would tell my parents I liked boys. The only thing about homecoming that made me nervous was whether or not I would have a date and I didn’t think twice about introducing my soon-to-be husband to my family at a soccer game on a sunny Spring day.
There were no sit down conversations causing me to gulp back nerves in order to announce I was straight. I’ve never defended my want to have children or be married or hold hands with my partner.
Is it too much to hope that one of these days, the “coming out” part of being gay isn’t necessary?
I’m so glad one of the people I love most was ready to tell me more about his life those many years ago, but as the words were coming out of his mouth I was wishing them away. Not because I didn’t want to hear them, but because he shouldn’t have to say them. I wanted to wave my hand past his words and tell him they were not needed. He doesn’t owe me, or the rest of the world, an explanation for who he is on the inside.
All of this thinking back has left me thinking forward. 
One day I hope to snuggle up with my grandkids and explain to them about when I was growing up and people actually were worried about who other people loved. And I will tell them some even worried about whether two people in love should be allowed to have children, can you believe that? My grandchildren will shake their heads at the injustice people in my generation grew up with and we will turn back to the Golden Globes and talk about what everyone is wearing…
because no one will care who the nominees kiss before they head on stage to accept their awards.
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I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.
I look forward to those post-gay days…
Vikki recently posted..Pics Or It Didn’t Happen
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes. You word it all so very well.
christine recently posted..An Important Man… And the Bathroom
Twitter: anditislove
This is beautiful, Jess.
And it was the part of the inaugural speech where our president said that the love we commit to each other must be equal that brought me to tears.
This can be our world because there are people like you.
Much love to you. And your future grandkids. XO
I truly hope this is our world one of these days. There are so many of us that want it to be. It just doesn’t seem that difficult to give everyone the same rights.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
My Favorite Line: Is it too much to hope that one of these days, the “coming out” part of being gay isn’t necessary?
I hope it’s not too much too ask. I believe it’s not too much too ask.
I don’t think it’s too much to ask either. We should all have the exact same rights. Period.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
Great post. I agree 100%. Love is love.
Jaime recently posted..Bittersweet
Love is love. Absolutely.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
Yes! One day people will think we were just ridiculous. And I am ok with that, as long as it happens eventually
angela recently posted..Drawing Lines
Completely agree, I hope they are in awe of the inequality of our generation because of the equality in theirs.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
i think the next generation is already on their way, my kids don’t get that it could matter if you have two dads, two moms, or one of each – they know all kinds of families and just take that as a given as how things are, and how things should be.
anna recently posted..Future Blogger
I think so too. If the majority of us raise our kids to think this way we are well on our way.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
I believe so strongly in this too!
Maija @ Maija’s Mommy Moments recently posted..How We Finally Got Rid Of The Binky
Twitter: MommyMoments
All of the people I love most in this blogging world seem to, it must be what keeps us all together.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
Really beautiful post, Jessica. I think you summed up perfectly how many of us feel. Thank you for sharing.
Jen at PIWTPITT.com recently posted..Getting to Know You is Like Looking in a Mirror
Twitter: throat_punch
Love is love, huh? How awesome that your loved one has you and your big ole heart of support.
HouseTalkN recently posted..My Very Own Mom Office- The Moffice 2!
This is so beautiful Jessica. Fingers crossed that these days come soon rather than later. Love is love. xoxo
Tara recently posted..Can You Poop Without Your Smart Phone?
I hope so too, they can’t come soon enough.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
Well said
Corey Feldman recently posted..The Sexton and the Reaper
Twitter: coreyjf
It already is true in a lot of ways. My kids can’t believe that there was a time when no one even talked about it. It seems so foreign to them, and for that I am so glad.
Nicole (Whole Strides) recently posted..Inauguration Day
I am glad too, as my kids grow up and don’t see the differences that so many of our generation see I become more and more hopeful.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
Amen.
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..This Is Childhood – Two
I loved envisioning you with your grandkids like that too. And your words here give MUCH hope that that will surely be the case sometime soon! Thanks for this…
Elaine A. recently posted..48 Questions (old school blog style)
Twitter: elainea
Yes! I, too, wish that one day this will happen. I’m holding onto hope that this will be true.
Kimberly recently posted..When Dad Takes Over
I so hope those days will come. I’ll just keep living like they are just around the corner.
Lovely, Jessica.
Jenni Chiu @ MommyNaniBooboo recently posted..But the water…
Twitter: MommyNaniBooboo
And I live the same, hopefully as we all continue to teach our kids to live this way and it will spread until the next generation doesn’t know any different.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
I agree completely with your sentiment, but I think ‘coming out’ will always be a part of the gay identity simply because they are in a minority. I have no problem if any of my kids turns out to be gay, but the odds are high (as in in any given family) that none of them are just because that’s a statistical reality. What I hope for is a day when gay people can come out with joy and no fear.
Korinthia Klein recently posted..A Matter of Size
Absolutely, joy and no fear.
Jessica recently posted..How not to go outside
yes, oh yes.
tara pohlkotte recently posted..Dreamcatcher
Twitter: tarapohlkotte
As someone with a gay mom, I really appreciate this.
Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..Things I Actually Enjoyed About Labor and Delivery
Twitter: mommeetmom
Very well said, as usual.
I long for the days…
Tonya recently posted..Unwavering
Twitter: letters4lucas
Love…absolutely love…