For my birthday this year I got towels. Big, fluffy, glowing white towels. I couldn’t wait to wash them and dry them and fold them and use them. Okay, I would have been fine with someone else doing the washing, drying and folding but I was excited to use them and turn my faded-to-beige-ish, barely-holding-on towels into cleaning rags.
My level of excitement over new towels was a little disturbing. Is this what happens when you’re on your way to 40? Towels are just as exciting as a new pair of fall boots? Will I be giddy over a bucket of under-eye cream by Christmas?
I know how this happened, the slippery slope to being in love with white towels. It started with buying school bags and lunch boxes and shoes with velcro because oh-my-carpel-tunnel all the shoe tying in the morning, and ended with putting the things I wanted at the bottom of the list in that place that never gets crossed off because you’re leaving the store with one child upside down begging for a king-sized Kit Kat.
So all of this to say, since we tend to not buy anything for ourselves, a huge group of bloggers got together to give you all of the things. You won’t believe how many books, gift cards and other goodies we are giving away. Grab a coffee so you can get through the whole list. If you spill it, I’ve got extra towels.
First off, we’ve collected practically an entirely new library for you – nine (9) (NINE!!!) new books to make you laugh, cry, and forget that you were supposed to turn on the crockpot because you’re just plain having too much fun.
You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth, the long-awaited first humor anthology from In The Powder Room, is the #1 Hot New Release on Amazon for good reason – it’s packed with 39 (mostly) true tales by women, for women, about being women—bodily changes, relationships, careers, motherhood, aging, illness, and more—written with the humor and grit that proudly sets In The Powder Room apart. The winner’s shiny new copy will be signed by none other than Lipstick co-author and editor, Leslie Marinelli of The Bearded Iris!
Do you have a copy of the hilarious best-selling collection of hilarious essays, I Just Want To Pee Alone, yet? Well, I bet you don’t have a copy signed by four of the co-authors – Amy Bozza of My Real Life signed one with Kim Bongiorno, Kim Forde and Anna Sandler, and she’s willing to part with it JUST FOR YOU! It covers every parenting topic from planning for your baby, to being driven insane by your children, to… wait, are there other parenting topics? Yes, don’t be silly, of course there are. I’m pretty sure.
From Abby Has Issues, you’ll get a signed paperback copy of Abby Still Has Issues, the 5-star rated second installment of award-winning humor writer Abby’s compiled blogging neurosis – everything from the drama of a cab ride with Aunt Mable to her quest to become a naked sushi model.
Carriage Before Marriage has two stories in the hilarious, irreverent anthology What Was I Thinking: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories featuring essays from Carrie Fisher, Sex and The City producer Cindy Chupack and more. Romantic disasters spun into comedy gold for your entertainment!
Kim Bongiorno, of Let Me Start By Saying, has generously added an autographed paperback copy of her 5-star rated “Part of My World: Short Stories”, a book that allows the reader to escape into 21 unique, exhilarating worlds. To boot, she’s including a “How Being a Parent is Like Being a Rock Star” note card
Of course your library won’t be complete without a signed paperback copy of the best selling debut of humorist Paige Kellerman, At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles – a touching story of cankles, gestational diabetes, and one woman’s quest not to pee her own pants while carrying twins.
You’ll also win an autographed copy of Not Your Mother’s Book…on Being a Parent, co-authored by Stacey Hatton of Nurse Mommy Laughs. These new anthologies are edgy “poultry for the chakra” books and will have you laughing instead of crying., based on her hilarious graphic that’s gone viral (blank inside, with envelope).
Still want more parenting laughs? Parenting Gag Reel – Hilarious Writes and Wrongs (from the popular Life Well Blogged series) is for moms and dads who’ve fought to get little ones down for a nap, worn their pajamas to drop off the kids at school or can name at least ten shades of poop. If that’s you, you’re in the right place for an afternoon of laughter, thanks to some very funny bloggers, including Snarkfest.
But wait – that’s not all! Because we love you and we know that just WANTING to read doesn’t always get you the time, setting, and accessories that make it possible, we’re also including all of this:
Because it’s hard to concentrate on reading while the kids are awake, we’ll set you up with the customizable kid’s photo clock of your choice from ZAZOO KiDS! In addition to allowing you to upload your own photos, video and music, it has pre-programmed image alarms to show a child visually when they can start the day or when it is time to rest. Brilliant! For maximum reading time, we recommend setting bedtime to 4 PM.
Because they might still need a little help staying in bed, there’s Duck Tape. Everyone can find a fun and creative use for Duck Tape, from crafty tweens to practical DIYers, to mamas who just want to read for a minute, for Pete’s sake. We’re giving away an awesome prize pack of Duck Tape in assorted colors and patterns.
Because sometimes Mama needs a little glass of something while she reads, you’ll get a monogrammed Vino-2-Go (Wine Sippy! Right? RIGHT? Awesome.) for those special times when you need to be the classiest bitch at a party, or when you’re just afraid you might spill some precious vino on your precious book.
Because you need to be comfortable while you read, we’re bringing you your choice of one throw pillow from Sewn, Inc. Sewn is a small design atelier in Brooklyn, NY, specializing in dressmaking, custom Halloween costumes for children, home decor accents, and quilted Christmas stockings.
Because you might be out and about while you’re reading (hey, it could happen), the winner will also get a $30 gift certificate to the Jennifer Ladd shop on Etsy, which is chock full of gorgeous handbags and change purses.
Because you’ll need something clean for your kids to wear if you hope to put off the laundry one more day, let us introduce you to Nostalgic Graphic Tees by Elizabeth Horton. Brushed for softness and screen printed using multiple layers of environmentally friendly ink, you’ll be happy when this becomes your child’s favorite shirt because it’ll stand up to life and washings and still look good enough to hand down to a little brother or sister. Winner gets to choose any tee from the Etsy site. That’s winner’s choice! You just have to pick from a size in stock.
Because you’ll need something cozy to “borrow” from your husband’s closet while you read (or because you’re the husband whose cozy stuff keeps getting “borrowed,” or because you just happen to like reading and comfort), Cool Dads is providing one of their tees. They work hard to make tees that their kids would dig, and that they would be proud to wear too. They feature a tailored fit, custom stitching, and high quality bamboo viscose material that makes their shirts softer than the softest cotton, keep you degrees cooler, and even repel sweat to keep you dry.
Because people are always trying to take the few things around the house that aren’t made by Fisher Price (like your new fantastic book collection) and claim them as their own, label them in style with Name Bubbles. These sturdy, water-resistant and dishwasher safe labels come in a variety of colors, sizes, and fonts so you can personalize them just the way you want. We’re giving away a School Labels Pack, an assortment of over 80 labels!
Because we know you’ll get interrupted while you’re trying to read, you’ll get a $40 gift card to Snappin Studio, where they make unique hand stamped metal keepsakes like beautiful copper bookmarks. What a stylish way to keep track of where you left off, until you’re finished getting the kids just one more glass of water at 10:30 PM! Shop for gorgeous hand stamped metal gifts such as personalized guitar picks, unique anniversary gifts, handmade wedding favors and more.
Also, because we know we’re all just barely holding it together ourselves, we’re including a canvas I Just Want To Pee Alone tote bag so YOU can hold all this stuff together – super rare and totes adorable, you’ll be able to carry all this incredible loot in style.
And finally, because we know we might have forgotten something (Who, US???), the lucky winner will also get a $175.00 Amazon gift card, to spend however he or she wants, although we strongly suggest using it to buy the giveaway hosts something pretty.
That’s almost $700 worth of fantastic prizes!
Now for the rules…
You must have a deep, burning desire to own all or part of the stuff mentioned above, and live in the United States. (So sorry, non-United States friends – we love you big time, but we don’t understand your sweepstakes rules and don’t enjoy serving jail time. Also, POSTAGE. Gah. It’s, like, more than college tuition.)
Do the little Rafflecopter thingy. Winner will be chosen at random and notified after the giveaway closes on Saturday, October 5. If there’s no response from the winner within 24 hours, another winner will be chosen and so on until I decide just to keep everything for myself. (I’m kidding, of course. OR AM I? Yes, I’m kidding.)
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