McKenna is lining up Barbies at the window sill and huffing and puffing with an occasional “ugh!” as they refuse to stand. I’ve offered to help and so have her brothers but she has this stubbornness that she gets from somewhere and we don’t fit into the Barbie Fashion Show plan.
From the window one over from the falling fashion show I can see leaves drifting to the ground and I can’t decide if I want to put them all back where they belong, green and holding tight. Or if I’d rather them all just fall at once, get it over with and strip the branches bare, ready for snow.
October is full of things I want to pull towards me and push away with the my daughter’s anger over flimsy Barbie feet. I hate it and it’s mix of indecision and changing of things. I want to be happy about birthdays and fall colors and not furious about the life that flitted away.
The lining of the Barbies is continuing and I’m so mad at those Barbies for falling because if Hadley were here she would be holding them up while McKenna built the runway or maybe she wouldn’t but I don’t get to know. I want to run over and make the best of fashion shows there ever was and then march outside and pick up all the leaves and shove them into gardening bags and pull them to the curb. McKenna won’t let me recreate Fashion Week though and there’s no time for four acres of leaf collecting. October is staring at me and I’m glaring back because there’s nothing else I can do.
Things keep falling and I keep trying to pick them up, wishing they never fell at all.
this is just write
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