What to Give

what to give to someone who is grieving

I am often asked for ideas on what to give someone who has experienced pregnancy loss or the loss of an infant or child. I wish this question never had to come up but am so glad there are thoughtful people out there who want to do something to ease the pain of others. I […]

Under the category of grief

Reading for LTYM

I have a list of categories for my blog, everything I write is divided into a few main subjects. Autism, Motherhood, DIY/Pinterest-y stuff and Grief. Before I publish a post I check a box next to one of the topics, classifying under what category my writing falls. A few years ago, I checked the box next to […]

Drop

rainbow

Towards the end of preschool Parker made a rainbow painting at school with streamers hanging down from the end of each color. My love for rainbows hung it no where but the best place. It sways from a hook up high in our kitchen so we can walk under it often because hanging out under […]

Bitter, sweet

surviving triplet

Last week I bought tickets for Mark and McKenna to go to a daddy/daughter dance. She is six now. This, the first year she is old enough to go. The nice woman at the counter asked how many tickets I needed and I had prepared myself for hating this part. Two tickets were all I […]

Wishes

Mommy what is that time on the clock when you can wish for things? Do you mean 11:11, Honey? Do you sometimes wish for Hadley to be not in the clouds? Yes Baby I do, all the time. Today I will do my concert-show after dinner. I can’t wait to see it. And Daddy and […]

This is why we’re here

mark and parker

Late February of last year we drove to see the inside of a house we had fallen in love with on the outside. The whole drive there Mark and I took turns saying “we shouldn’t go” “let’s turn around” “this is way too far from everything.” In between, I’m sure we said things like “don’t […]

Surface

watching baby in the NICU

When I was pregnant with the triplets I spent at least half my days of hospital bed rest searching for a “Big Sister of Triplets” shirt. They were easy to find in size 2 or 3T but no where to be found in 12 year-old sizes. My excitement when I finally found one probably caused […]

Ready for Air

ready for air

Having a baby (or two, or three) in the NICU is an extremely isolating experience. Parker spent 77 days there, McKenna 72 and Hadley, not nearly enough. I was there for every single one of them. Not because it was some heroic effort of motherhood, because it was a necessity for my survival. I couldn’t […]

To blink or not to blink

lantern release

When we were driving by our current house over and over again, hoping the sale would go through, I used to look around at everything. I wanted to take pictures of the worn barns, the restored and not-so-restored old homes and the horses and the tractors causing us to go 40 miles under the speed […]

Ingredients

surviving triplets

The year after Hadley passed away I made three little birthday cakes. Only Parker and McKenna would dig tiny fingers in and blink cake from their lashes but I made three because I had to, I couldn’t imagine not. On the day of their birthday party I got out the tiny cakes, balanced on one […]