Life after loss with one teenager, two surviving triplets and a rainbow baby
When Hadley passed away, another grieving mom suggested I get a piece of jewelry to hold a bit of her ashes. I sat at the funeral home, looking through catalogs of jewelry I never knew existed for such a purpose, and settled on a teardrop-shaped necklace. I wore Hadley’s necklace every day for years, feeling the weight of it at my chest as I put it on every morning. I held onto it at holidays and birthdays and moments that {Read More}
When I was a full of drama, teenager/middle-schooler/probably elementary schooler and preschooler too, I would stomp off to my room when mad. Shutting my door, I would flop in dramatic defeat onto my bed and sigh loud enough for the house to hear. Laying there, unsatisfied with the lack of results from my grand showcasing of emotions, I would add another sigh or two, for effect. Being mad never really got me anywhere other than staring at the back of {Read More}
-Mommy do you like rainbows because they remind you of Hadley? -Yes honey, I do. -Because when it rains on us she fills up her hands with colors and throws them all the way down? -You know what? I think that is exactly what she does. -Me too, Mommy. You might also like…Sisters and the Winter SongWhereBlue
My blog is finally fixed, thanks for deciding to click over one more time despite my never-ending technical difficulties. I promise if you leave a comment you won’t get an annoying error message and now would be a totally good time to comment if you are a reader but never a commenter. Just say hi so I know you’re out there or tell me what book you’re reading right now if you’re a reader (I’m reading “The Forgotten Waltz” by {Read More}
The year after my daughter passed away I never left the house. I took care of my three living children without complaint. I denied the need for a break or a babysitter or earplugs and I told myself I was enjoying every single second because these little people could be taken from me without a moments notice. I stopped blogging and venting about life and felt a stab of guilt when I hinted at the difficulties of juggling motherhood. My {Read More}
Cheeks red and aching from laughter, we headed to the car. I could feel little fingers wiggling through the mittens that met my hands and tried to slow their excitement as it seemed we were moving up and down instead of forwards. After as many snow-tubing runs as we could manage, we were still giggling over the rush of the afternoon when I saw the pink touch of cloud. I felt her there just as strongly as the tiny hands {Read More}
Last night I watched my first five minutes of American Idol since Season One. Despite my love of reality television I’ve never been attached to the show and the only thing I’m really sure of is that Kelly Clarkston won once. Right? Anyway, I put the remote down because the boy about to audition, Kayden Stephenson, was wearing the nebulizer mask my son so often needs. I wanted to show Parker a boy like him, who must have asthma but {Read More}
I never liked playing jump rope when I was in school. Jumping rope on my own, counting jumps next to a friend, singing songs I can still recite, that was all fine. I just didn’t like jumping with a group. At recess the line would form and we would wait our turn to jump in while girls at either end twirled the rope in unison. The rope would slap the cement and I would count 1-2-3 and will myself to {Read More}
Hoping Santa is good to you this year! Merry Christmas from our family to yours. ———————— Need some fun things to do over the break? Try my favorite indoor activities over at Childswork. Trying to get through the holidays with grief? I’ve written about ways I cope at Still Standing Magazine. You might also like…Top 12 of 2012I knew I should have sent my Christmas cards out on New Year’sRemembering together
I had plans to write an inspirational post today, about how the pain of loss gets better as time goes on and putting one foot in front of the other becomes something you don’t have to talk yourself through, but since Friday my world has been rocked to the core like everyone else’s. I need this space today to remember my daughter and hold her as close as I’m holding the rest of my children this week. Hadley was the {Read More}
I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.
On any given day you will find me taxi-ing a teenager, mopping up our latest "art project" and trying to remember when I turned the crock pot on… all the while, looking for the closest Starbucks drive thru. more
