Run

boy running

When she was 6 or 7 or a length too long to bend into a grocery cart I stood in the parking lot, defeated. I was a single mom then and Ashlyn didn't just wander, she ran. Or she didn't just run she pulled her fingers along every item at eye level, collecting some, knocking some down, wailing as I bargained with her to put something back. It was all too much, I pictured our cupboards emptying as my mind filled. We drove home without a single grocery. One of my closest friends has two boys with autism. I have watched her unload them from her vehicle, clinging to one while holding her leg across her van door to keep the other from escaping. If she doesn't move quickly they will be off to … [Continue reading...]

Superheroes and radio shows

batman costume

My blog is finally fixed, thanks for deciding to click over one more time despite my never-ending technical difficulties. I promise if you leave a comment you won't get an annoying error message and now would be a totally good time to comment if you are a reader but never a commenter. Just say hi so I know you're out there or tell me what book you're reading right now if you're a reader (I'm reading "The Forgotten Waltz" by Anne Enright) or what movie you love if you're more of a movie-watcher (I never watch movies but we watched "This is 40" the last time we could keep our eyes open for two full hours after the kids bedtime). After you get done leaving your life story in my comments you … [Continue reading...]

Necessary

kids riding bikes

Seventeen years ago, while Ashlyn flipped in my belly, pressing to my ribs, I watched the terror of the Oklahoma bombing unfold. Full of pregnancy hormones and fear, I felt the urge to walk with my arms wrapped around my expanding stomach, protecting my first born from the world I was about to bring her into. I took comfort in the fact that she was still inside, but my mind whirled at the thought of the day her umbilical cord would no longer join us. The possibilities of evil lurking as she boarded school buses and walked without holding my hand rendered me terrified. Six years later I drove to her school wondering what it meant to have a school on "lock down." I needed to be able to … [Continue reading...]

Another day, another confession

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Blog confession #3,456,783: I actually like getting older. Like, have been waiting for it, will never complain about a birthday, like it. I became a mom very young and I spent years envying moms who were older, moms who were “supposed to be” moms. I envied how they knew exactly what they needed at the grocery store, how a waitress would look to them for the orders of all the children filling a noisy table, how they were regarded in the workforce, called Mrs. or Mam more often than Sweetie or Honey. Many years later, although I can’t say I’m a fan of “Mam,” I appreciate every bit of the respect that comes with age. I am happy to not be dating or apartment hunting … [Continue reading...]

I’m giving up reality tv, maybe

Mindless reality television paired with a glass of wine is my favorite way to wind down from the day because what better way to forget your own Crazy than to watch someone else's? So when this new show "Ready for Love" came out I settled in with my wine and twitter, expecting to fill the void The Bachelor has left until the next group of 25 people who have obviously never watched the show hold a weekly cat-fight for roses. Instead of sitting back and enjoying this new mind-emptying show, I found myself yelling at the television like my husband watching his fantasy football team go up in flames. In case you didn't waste over an hour of your life Tuesday night, the quick version is … [Continue reading...]

Daydreaming

McKenna dancing

When I was pregnant with the triplets I dreamt of the normalcy of their childhood. I'm sure normal and raising triplets don't usually belong in the same sentence but  in my mind they would. I looked forward to sitting still with a cup of coffee and a mom-friend, watching our kids at dance class or a baseball game. Ashlyn was 12 at the time and I had yet to sit down. We had worked on potty training for long enough that I'd blocked it out of my memory, adopted velcro as our only shoe option and never ventured into a play place where I couldn't fit through the tubes, one step behind her. My daydream for the triplets was that my biggest worry would be piles of laundry and grade-level … [Continue reading...]

Another great idea I didn’t think of

borrow baby couture dress

My husband and I have a regular discussion whenever we see a new, amazing idea come out. It goes something like this: One of us: Why didn't you think of that? The other: Why didn't you think of that? One of us: That is such a great idea, you should have thought of it. The other: Well you could have thought of it, you know. Rinse. Wash. Repeat. Inserting a different great idea every time and a trip to buy lottery tickets. Our latest of this all-too-exciting conversation revolved around my discovery of Borrow Baby Couture and my personal favorite, their private clearance sale site. On Borrow Baby Couture you can actually rent the most gorgeous couture outfits for your girls for a … [Continue reading...]

For you and for a cause

silver drop pearl earrings

The winner of the necklace is commenter #23. Congratulations Ellen! Some people are really good with jewelry. They can layer pieces and find mismatched necklaces that compliment each other and stack up bracelets to accent any outfit. Those people are not me. I need pointed in the right direction, told what to chose and possibly some help remembering to put in the other earring after getting distracted putting in the first. My issue with jewelry-finding is exactly why I love Ex Voto Vintage. Every piece is gorgeous, they can be layered and mixed and matched and are custom made with vintage pieces. If that doesn't make you love them then the fact that a portion of their … [Continue reading...]

Small victories

appreciating small victories

I'm a little annoyed with my World Autism Awareness Day post. Not because it isn't true and not because we don't need more support and services and solutions but because I didn't take the time to share how amazing it is to have a child with autism. Yes it is not always easy and no neither of us slept for her first 10 years but being an autism parent is an insanely rewarding job. The little things are the big things. Always. I wanted to share a story of one of those small victories because life as an autism parent is full of them, each one as much a gift as the last. ------------------- Rolling over to an alarm that had been buzzing far too long, my mind caught up with the … [Continue reading...]

What Autism Awareness Month means to us

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Autism Awareness month has changed so much for us over the years. When Ashlyn was young I wore awareness ribbons and puzzle pieces and used this time to explain autism. It was my chance to spread the awareness we still needed. Autism affected 1 in 450 then. Now everyone knows about autism. Everyone is aware of a neighbor or a nephew or a child's classmate who has been diagnosed. They don't need an explanation of what autism is, they've seen it at the grocery story or last Sunday at church. Autism affects 1 in 50 now. For me, this month means there will be more media coverage of what causes autism, more people leaning in to ask do you think it's the shots? and more well-meaning … [Continue reading...]

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