Four Plus an Angel

Life after loss with one teenager, two surviving triplets and a rainbow baby

Grieving Season

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The weather is changing and conversations head in that direction as they always do. From porch to sidewalk, neighbors shout about the need for jackets or lack of. Somewhere, in line for coffee, two old friends discuss the 20 degree temperature difference from last week. And I promise, right this moment, a group of parents is discussing little feet stretching to almost adult-size since the last time they pulled out this season's shoes. But for me, this change of season means something different. As the temperature changes and the conversations go with it, my grieving season begins. If I have nothing to add to talk of weather and outgrown clothing it's because I can't think of anything Continue Reading

All the things she loves

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This post is sponsored by Custom Ink. I was compensated by Custom Ink to write this post. All opinions, children and video background noise are my own. Almost every autism parent will tell you their child has a "thing." A television show, a character, a favorite item-- something they've been hooked on for years. I know kids who love elevators or garbage trucks, kids who've been carrying the same stuffed animal for ten years and kids who could tell you the inner workings of their city's sewage system. Ashlyn has had a couple different "things" over the years. She used to read me her yearbook, over and over again. She's also an expert at the school bussing system. But every time she has Continue Reading

Our favorite math program and a giveaway

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Homeschooling is just like everything else in parenting. No matter how long you're doing it you're still wondering if you're doing it right. Among the many things I question about this whole homeschooling thing are our curriculum choices. Are my kids at the right level? Is the curricula of choice teaching them the way they need to learn? Are they learning enough? Will they blame me for the rest of their lives if they can't solve for x? Due to my indecisive nature, we've switch many of our curriculum choices over the years but there is one-- thank goodness there is one-- that I have not wavered from since we found it.   Our math curriculum of choice The year my kids were old Continue Reading

Podcasts you won’t be able to turn off

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I discovered podcasts a few years ago when I was in the middle of deep cleaning our house for a move. I kept hearing people talk about a podcast called Serial. I figured I would try to figure out how to listen to these things and if I actually liked them while I had hours of mindless cleaning ahead of me. Ten episodes of Serial later I was hooked, the house was clean and I wasn't really sure how either thing had happened. Listening to podcasts is now my favorite way to get any mindless task done. It's much less painful to match 8,000 different white socks if you're listening to a well produced story. A few years into my cleaning-while-podcasting habit and I've narrowed down my favorites. Continue Reading

How an autism diagnosis changed our lives

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World Autism Day

Ashlyn was two when I received the results of her first developmental screening. Her fine motor skills where that of a 6 month old. Her gross motor skills registered at barely 9 months of age and her verbal skills tested at under one year. I knew shortly after her birth that something wasn't right but I didn't realize how wrong it was until the results were staring at me on paper. I was a young, single mother and I immediately began doing the math and calculating her future success. At age six would she be stacking blocks instead of learning to tie her shoes? At eight would her speech struggle to be that of a four year old? Would she ever be able to write her name or ride a bike or tell me Continue Reading

What two grandmothers taught me about friendship

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story about friendship

Her car rolled past my house pushing three miles per hour, partly because she's nearly 90 and partly because she was coming to a stop two doors down. I was making breakfast in the kitchen that was once hers, standing where my grandmother stood years ago, buttering bread and scrambling eggs. My heart caught when I saw her go by, hands at 10 and two, chin nearly touching the steering wheel. It was summer at 9 am, my kids were still wearing yesterday's popsicles stains but my grandmother was dressed to match her purse that matches her shoes. She woke up knowing just what to do and stepped from the curb towards her best friend's front door with arms already outstretched. My neighbor's Continue Reading

When your bucket is empty

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Today I picked up a prescription alone. I sat in the car for four, possibly five, glorious minutes and checked Facebook on my phone while I ate a pack of miniature Cadbury Eggs I didn't have to share. And then my bucket was full. Well it wasn't full but it was full as could be at this point in my week. If you are reading this while carrying an empty bucket don't worry, you can read on. I promise I will not tell you to take time for yourself or spend a weekend away with the girls because I know how isolating those suggestions can feel when they are not an option even on the best of your best days. I was the carrier of a bone-dry bucket for many years. Only in the last year or two Continue Reading

Growing Old Healthy

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I was compensated to share my thoughts and feelings about Henry Ford Health System but all thoughts expressed are my own.  My grandmother turned 90 in July. For her 90th birthday present all of the grandkids put together a video of our favorite memories with Grandma. The memories ranged from special trips for ice cream to discovering salad tongs under her pillow that she kept there in case she needed to fend off potential burglars. I shared a moment that stuck with me from my childhood, something that embodied my grandmother to me. When I was nine or ten my grandma came on vacation with us as she often did and she asked if I wanted to join her on her daily walk. Full of nine Continue Reading

101 Reasons to Homeschool

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We've already been homeschooling for seven years. How did my kids even get old enough to be in school for that long? We started homeschooling by trying it out for a few months with just McKenna and now here I am schooling three kids at home, hoping they all want to continue for years and years to come. I'm not sure about Parker and McKenna but Sawyer is already asking about "homeschool college" so I think I'll have at least one home with me for the long haul. I truly have enjoyed homeschooling even more than I thought I would so figured I'd see if I could come up with 101 reasons to homeschool... (I should add that some of these reasons were supplied by my children so if something doesn't Continue Reading

On the other side of grief

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Nearly every time I take my three youngest out in public a sentimental senior citizen reminds me to enjoy them while they're young or mentions how quickly they will grow up, how precious these days are. Sometimes they offer their advice when the kids are holding hands and happy and no one has fought over anything in 32.5 seconds. But sometimes it's while I'm carrying a kid under my arm with an unexpected side of grief and bags under my eyes. There is a long answer I want to give them but I never offer it. I smile and say "I do" or "I know." But I want to tell them that I really do know, that losing a baby whose life I never dreamed would be so short taught me just how fragile small Continue Reading

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