Three years ago today you became an angel.
When I woke up this morning, my heart was heavy with the weight of this day. I planned to blog about the heartache and pain of life without you but as the day went on plans changed…
We started out your day as we have each year since you left us Hadley.
We visited Grandma, and thanked her for taking care of you.
We sent you three pink balloons and watched them float up until you could reach them.
And then we headed home.
But as we made the drive home, your brothers and sister started getting a little antsy so we had to pull out all the stops. We sang songs, counted buses going by (you know how Parker loves them), took off shoes and socks and tickled feet, whatever we could do to keep the car happy.
And that is when you told me what we should do next.
You said not to worry about naptime or laundry or answering the phone.
You told me it was beautiful outside and we should head out for our last boat ride because it will not be this nice again until spring.
And to tell Daddy to go fast because going slow is no fun.
You said we should have cupcakes for dinner
and that I should let your brother have one more when he asked.
You said to hold each other tight… your brother and sister had no problem with that one.
So we spent our afternoon just how you wanted us to, Hadley.
We played and giggled and filled the house with kisses and hugs, extra bedtime stories and I love you’s, because you only live once and you never know just how short that life will be.
I hope we make you proud baby girl and that you looked down on us and smiled today. You have taught us the fragility of life and how to cherish each other and how to love deeper than we ever thought possible.
I miss you more than words could ever say but I will always be grateful for all you have taught me and promise to cry for you less and celebrate you more.
Powered by Facebook Comments
What a beautiful post and a fantastic way to honor Hadley. Now I am crying at swimming lessons….
You have an amazing ability to see the beauty of life. So thank you Hadley for being mommy’s angel, guiding you to live your life to the fullest.
What a beautiful post. Stunning and powerful, just like your strength.
Very beautiful and touching. Definitely brought tears to my eyes. How fragile and strong children can be at the same time. Angels and guardians 🙂
I went back and read Hadley’s story before re-reading this lovely post.
So sad. So lovely.
You have a beautiful family.
Kristin @ What She Said says
I’ve never read this one before – it was published before I discovered that reading other blogs besides my own is both welcomed and encouraged. 😉
Simply beautiful, Jess. As always.
Crying. Me, right now. Such a beautiful and touching and tender letter to Hadley.
(Found this post via Alison and Ado’s blog bash.)
that is one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever written and THAT is something..since everything you share is hearttugging.
that little girl was so lucky to have you as her mommy.
the tears you gave me today were healing ones, bittersweet.
love you and your beautiful family Jess. xo
This one had me crying.
I was probably already tearing up at the title but by the time you let them eat cupcakes for dinner all of it was so special I was just bawling.
I can see why this is one of your favorites.
Thank you so much for linking up with us Jessica. This kind of writing is what makes blogging matter. – Ado
Katie E says
This is beautiful. I may be a little teary-eyed right now.
Living like today may be our last (because it might) is more difficult than one would imagine, but definitely worth the effort. I am so sorry for your loss and so touched by your choice to celebrate through your pain.
I’m so glad this is the post you decided to share for Blog Bash. It’s so beautiful and really does capture a spirit of hope and reverence for Hadley. You do so much to make her proud.
eemah midnight says
this is the most wonderful post i have read these past days… you and your kids are wonderful and I believe that Hadley is happy to watch you from above.. wish you and your family all the happiness.
That was a great post, and a good perspective. You're an inspiration.
Jessica – This is soooo beautiful! You amaze me with your strength each day!!! Hugs!
What a great day spent together in remembrance of your daughter and their sister. Your post was beautiful and a great tribute to Hadley. Much love and light.
Taylor and Allison says
I'm almost to their 3rd birthday on the 21st (happy / sad day)… I never know what to do to honor Ethan properly. This post helped out!
I just stumbled across your blog and it brought tears to my eyes. this is a beautiful post.
Mama Gorka says
What a beautiful post 🙂 I'm glad you guys made it a great day full of happiness and not tears. So sorry for your loss – brings tears to my eyes reading this. Your angel baby is watching over you all.
So sweet. I think that was a wonderful way to spend the day celebrating your family and being together. Hugs.
Seriously choking back the tears as I read this in my office at work. Beautiful post!
Sarah Halstead says
Beautiful post. I have tears in my eyes. I am so sorry for you loss. Your little ones are so sweet.
What a beautiful post! I think we can all take that advice and apply it to our own lives.Life is SO fragile, and I am so sorry that you had to learn this lesson in the way you did. I have no doubt that Hadley smiles down on you all daily! 🙂 Love and prayers,Christina