Well, just when I thought we were snowed in for good and the most exciting thing I would have to tell you was what a blast it was watching Parker plug the bathtub faucet with a shampoo cap making baths a no-go until Mommy finds the pliers, the snow stopped, Mommy took us to the grocery store and the Crazies did not disappoint.
The fireworks started when there was not a semi-truck sized cart to be found in the parking lot. The Crazies had to walk inside while Mommy looked for one of those bohemoths that might as well have a sign on them saying “No one should be shopping with this many kids that need to be strapped down.”
Guess where our ride was Daddy? Right next to those dreamy toys that move and make noise. If that does not spell DISASTER I don’t know what does.
The Crazies went, well, crazy, and made themselves comfy in those hooped-up toys one can only hope to ride and Mommy strapped me into the cart (had no choice, I’m the only one she was carrying and she’s no dummy). Mommy climbed in a flashy car to squeeze out Parker and I’m sure you could hear him all the way in Dairy. A poor store worker lady came by to say she was glad Mommy found the carts because she had just moved them to that very spot and Mommy thanked her with a look that almost melted my diapey.
Mommy strapped Parker in his seat and went for Kenna and then we were all screaming because I’m no fool, I missed my two seconds of glory too. She almost took us to the car but we acted all nicey and she fell for it hook, line and sinker.
First stop, cheap toys for keeping our hands out of trouble. Mom found neat stuff Dad, squishy froggies with balls inside you squeeze to light up so all the time while we were shopping we could say “more lights, more lights, MORE LIGHTS” and Mommy would stop and squish them again. Next came the Mommy moment that made my pacifier hit the ground rolling…
Mommy was stopped in the aisle making Parker’s toy light up for the bazillionth time and a worker man asked if she needed anything and Mommy said, “oh, no, sorry, I was just squeezing his balls.” Can you believe that???!!!! Priceless. Lucky I’m still in a diaper.
Mommy’s face got as pink as the boots Kenna cried for in the next aisle and nothing says send-her-to-the-looney-bin better than a Mommy laughing all by herself while pushing a cart of whining, crying kids.
We made it to the check out (thank goodness, right?) and it turns out Kenna liked her boots so much that she chucked the shoes she was wearing somewhere in that big store and put those shiny pink things on. She would NOT take them off and the lady tried to scan them on her feet but turns out that scanner’s not fast enough to pick up boots on kicking screaming girls. Someone was watching and feeling bad for Mommy (or maybe their ears were bleeding from the sound) and grabbed extra boots for that lady to scan so we could put everyone out of their misery and exit stage left.
And so we went, one pair of shoes short and another trip-turned-disaster under our belt, with Parker, that dedicated guy, still screaming “I WANT A TREAT” and Kenna still reeling (loudly) over the boot-scanning trauma and me, just sitting back watching the whole scene as mellow little me does.
The funny thing was, seemed like we were in that store for days but we only got a couple things (can’t count or I’d give you an exact number). That scanner lady didn’t even do a silly look that one of them was a big bottle of Mommy wine.
Love you Daddy,
The Man Behind the Yogurt
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