Well a few days of happy posts calls for a sappy one I think.
(Follow the bouncing ball, it’s the holidays and I’m all over the place.)
When we lost Hadley my biggest fear was that people would forget,
that her short life was not long enough to hold the importance in others’ minds that it did in mine.
Hearing the kids called “twins” made me cringe (still does) and I would choke on my words trying to explain to anyone who would listen that they were born as triplets, feeling like some sort of fraud if I let the mistake go unaddressed.
But it has been three years and, to my heart’s relief, her memory continues to live on. I still correct people but don’t have a heart attack when they don’t stand still long enough to get the whole story and hate when she is omitted in conversation but I think I may have just brought her life and death up enough to make people understand that living or not, she was once here and I will continue to talk about her just as I would if she were playing dolls at my feet.
There are still those days, when I feel like the only grieving mom on the planet and I find myself alone with the impossible-to-wrap-your-brain-around fact that my daughter is gone and it never fails… I am always tapped on the shoulder by someone who cares or someone walking the same path.
Not too long ago I came across a beautiful new website devoted to honoring the lives of babies gone too soon and spreading the word about the many resources available to the loss community. It was created by Monica, mother to 5 children, one of whom was stillborn. She created Honoring Our Angels in memory of her daughter Devon. I visited once, amazed at all the resources she had compiled, and left a message of condolence for her.
I had forgotten about it until one evening, feeling alone in my grief, I was blogging my sorrows out and received an email from Monica. She wanted to tell Hadley’s story and give me the opportunity to share her short life with her readers. I was honored by her offer and, as I type this, am comforted to know that Monica is probably typing away right now too, typing the story of my baby, from one loss mom to another, to remind me one more time that Hadley is never forgotten.
Please visit Monica today, read the beautiful post she has crafted for Hadley and view all that she has been working so hard on.
If you are a loss mom visiting here for the first time please know that living children are mentioned often in posts below this one. Here are a few posts pertaining to loss only:
The Next 25
No one told me this either
Send Me a Rainbow
and the very eloquent This Sucks
“If you know someone who has lost a child, and you’re afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died–you’re not reminding them. They didn’t forget they died. What you’re reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift.” –Elizabeth Edwards
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