I think I might have been a little odd when I was young. I was the oldest and only girl and did not appreciate my brothers as much as I do now.
Normal so far right? Here comes the odd…
Whenever we had to go to the airport I would always say the entire rosary the night before. I would pray that while we were at the airport I would run into a girl that looked just like me and we would find out that she was my identical twin and we were somehow separated at birth and she would get to come home with us and I would be all set up with the twin sister I had always wanted.
Not sure why the airport was the place or why my mom would not have known she gave birth to two children at once.
It all made sense to me at the time.
Scroll to the bottom of this post and hit play and then come back up and finish reading to go along with my vision for this post, I’ll wait………………
Yesterday the kids were playing with Photo Booth (neat program on our Mac where you can see yourself in the computer screen and add in all kinds of special effects, i.e. our activity when I’ve got nothing) and McKenna, who cannot get enough of herself on screen, shoved her brother out of the way and hit the “Mirror Image” button. In front of me appears two McKennas and I started clicking like a maniac to switch the screen back to normal as my heart was being torn out of my chest.
From the moment we were having triplets I knew that we would have two girls and a boy… I may have strayed from my Catholic school ways but all of that rosary-saying had to pay off somehow and getting to live out my long lost twin sister dream as the mom of girl/girl/boy triplets was more than the next best thing.
I think about McKenna all the time and my goofy dreaming younger self and how close she came to having what I always wanted. I think about the rest of my kids too. I know they will wonder about what life would have been with Hadley but they will be okay. McKenna is the one I worry about.
There isn’t a girl without sisters I know who does not wish she had one. It is only a matter of time before she starts to realize what she should have had and I can’t think of a good reason in the world to tell her why she doesn’t.
Last winter I heard the most amazing song and when I googled it and saw the video I saw my girls.
My McKenna and my Hadley but without the happily ever after.
I wish I could end this post with a picture of them snuggled together but the last time they did that they were nestled right under my ribs, safer than I ever realized.
Day two of my December pity party, cue the music…
by Garth Brooks
Winter Song (Album Version)
by Sara Bareilles
After The Storm
by Mumford & Sons
If I Die Young
by The Band Perry
In My Arms
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
What songs would you add that comfort you while grieving? I would love to have a long list of songs to offer to others when they need them most.
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