I imagine our potty training experience thus far to be something like a trip to the Winter Olympics.
We trained for months.
I poured over books and websites, bought underwear of every character and color of the rainbow and shamelessly grilled every parent of a child who was not walking around with a diaper bulging out of his or her pants.
Once my children gave our potty seat the remotest of a glance, we headed off to the games.
I, walking confidently ahead of my team, they, waving flags of Dora panties and Elmo underwear, proudly smiling to their stadium full of fans. What dedicated fans they had, showering them with sticker charts and bribes and candy and toys from the dollar store, whatever morsel they could offer to make them hungry for a medal.
The competitors started off fast and furious, each eager to take home the gold and rot their teeth with every available token of encouragement.
Soon the athletes began to show their true form.
My daughter, quite the figure skater, twirled and glided, stopping every so often for a round of applause, bowing gracefully to her audience, elegantly wearing new costumes with slim lines and easy to remove waistbands.
My son, well he began on the ski slopes, a bit of a cross country skier. He would travel along at a decent pace, of course with his eye always on the prize, a bit too busy for applause and perfectly happy wearing bulky attire. Eventually he got a bit tired of cross country and decide to see what else was out there, venturing quickly downhill. Rapidly he blew past the trail we had carefully created and had trained him to follow. He tumbled and somersaulted, drenching all of his ski apparel in the process and creating quite a stink in his wake but, nonetheless, smiling the whole way down. I, as his faithful coach, winced and rushed to his side, righting him again, cleaning up his trail and reminding him of our path. We repeated this exercise many, many times until I realized that perhaps his interest in the gold had completely dissolved.
My son and I watched on as his sister took her place on the highest pedestal, our catchy little potty anthem playing overhead, and once the singing was over she proudly showed her brother the gold medallion she had received. Unfazed by her glory, he sunk his teeth right in, checking for chocolate of course. She huffed at his unsportsmanlike conduct and stomped away with her medal glimmering hopefully.
I am unsure of what my current record says about my coaching skills, one gold and one, um, honorable mention?? Regardless of my record, I am hoping to muster up the skill to coax my son into putting his skis back on before the baby is ready to compete, or at least before the Summer Games.
I have no interest in a triathlon.
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Karyn Climans says
I can't imagine your diaper bills every week with triplets. Hope they train SOON!
Boy, do I have potty training stories (bribes, crap on my diningroom floor, tears, charts, pleads…). I think PTing is the best kind of birth control there is.
Marjorie Robinson says
I think that you have described the sport of Potty Training perfectly!
Great blog… I am visiting from SITS!
Make it a great day!
Potty training does not sound fun but this post was funny though. I winced too when your son drenched his ski apparel. Glad your daughter got the gold. Hopefully next time they all tie for gold.
Sadly, he has drenched far more than his ski apparel, I could totally be a zookeeper at this point!!
Potty training sucks…big time!! I'm already dreading having to potty train the twins – I just hope they are easier/faster than Tater was 😉
My daughter was SO much easier than my son has been and having her to model after has helped my son. Hopefully having two girls will be in your favor and they will sail through it.
LOL @ the analogy! I HATE potty training. Hate it. But, we'll get through!
I know, I keep telling myself that they will not be in diapers when they are 10 so until then I just have to roll with it.
Elena @NaynaDub says
Very funny post, Coach! I too am trying to potty train my 3yo who has NO interest whatsoever. I keep telling him no school next fall until this is all done but he wants none of it.
What is it with these boys? My son could care less but my daughter was SO motivated. Good luck to us both!
Sarah Halstead says
ha ha. love it. Dustyn did great yesterday. Only 1 accident. ha ha. I am so ready to be done with the diapers.
You will be a pro by the time Carsyn is ready, hopefully we will both get lucky and our little boys will want to be like their big brothers and make it easy on us.
The Domestic Goddess says
We're currently silver medal status. Hoping for the gold any day now. It's been eight years, after all.
Oh, that brings back BAD memories of training my oldest, her story would not have fit cutely into this analogy. I SO remember where you are at.
great post! I'm not looking forward to our turn at the games.
I would give you advice for when it is your turn but as you read, I'm not doing so hot.
Great analogy! Brilliant in fact! You need to submit this somewhere! Somewhere in the blogosphere this post has a medal with its name on it!…see how I got the word medal in here too! It's destiny!
Thanks Sandra… off to search for this post's destiny!
Oh, potty training is such a pain. My daughter took well over a year and didn't get it until just before she turned 4. Actually, she got it — she knew exactly what to do, she just wanted to make sure the world knew she was in change, and if she was playing and having fun, she just didn't want to take a break — but the good news is that once she was finished with potty training, she has not had accidents (even at night!). My son, on the other hand, took just a couple of months and he had it mastered. (He's always been the easy one, LOL.)
Well maybe I will just hope that my next son will be the easy one, although I don't have my hopes up!
Potty training with my older son took so long that I am not even bothering to try with the little one. When he decides to sit and pee, I am there. Even if that means he doesn't potty train till age 10. I cleaned up poopy underwear for almost a year before my older one got it. Not ready to jump into that again any time soon.
The "Helper of the Day" sticker strategically left on the frog potty didn't do it for Parker?
Nope, I think the potty is just about the only place he hasn't peed!
Porter Nicole says
Dani G says
You are so creative!! Potty training sucks. Bird still asks for a diaper to poop in. But with all her gut issues, I'm just glad she poops 😉
Oh, I didn't even talk about my oldest's issues, there was no smooth way to fit it into the story.
Lisa Gallegos says
lol you know what I think about potty training and kids. ( i blogged about it as well) But here is my stance. With all 7 kids and I am finally down to one diaper booty, they did it when they were ready lol not when mom was ready. And I stuck with that for the first four kids. Then it was Racers turn and OMG that was the worst most horrible experience EVER. Its the two years I shall not speak about lol. Then of course when he was ready he got it. I doubted myself a lot when training Racer and I shouldn't have.
So I wish you all the luck in the world!
I can't believe you have surviving potty training that many kids. When is your book coming out?