Today I am posting over at Mommypants.
I have been nervous about this day since the moment the topic of my post found its way into my head.
I emailed the amazing Cheryl with two options, a safe one and a not-so-safe one, and she helped me find the courage to choose the latter and not just tell my story, but relive my story deeply through words.
I needed to write about something, a part of my life that I never share, never discuss, and tend to just completely ignore when people give me a questioning glance.
So as I type this, a short time before I share another piece of myself with people who I know and many people I do not, I wonder what in the world I am doing.
I have always been a private person so why, when I write, can I share just about anything?
I can share because every time I do someone out there, even if it is just one person, nods in I-have-been-there-too agreement.
Every time I share more, and am afraid to hit “publish,” every time I am brutally honest, my words fall into the open arms of wonderful people who respect them and acknowledge them and support me that much more.
So as I release one more piece of myself into the blogosphere I am a bit at a loss for words.
All I have to say is thank you to the amazingly courageous women I have met in this blogging world who have already shared so much of their lives and inspired me to share one more piece of mine.
And thank you to everyone who visits me here and takes such care of my words.
Thank you.
One more thing…
Mwwwwaaaaahhhhhhhh, Ms. Ashlyn.
My life is this life because of you.
You can visit me here at Mommypants today.
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Hi, I came her via Dani's blog. You are a wonderful writer! Thanks for writing about what it's like as a teenage mom. I wasn't raised by my teenage mom–I was adopted. We have since met and I can't imagine what she went through to give me up, or what you went through to keep your daughter and raise her when you were still a child. You and my birthmom have amazing strength and are so brave!!
I loved your Mommypants post! You are amazing!
I read your story over there and could not look away. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing . You are a gifted writer. Your strength and love shines through. What an amazing mother you are…no matter what age. XO
What an incredibly moving and meaningful story. I felt the exact same way as we brought our first babies home. I was 25, but I felt 15 in the sense that I felt hopelessly clueless. It's gotten better since then, but my "Mommypants" still need a lot of breaking in. Thank you for sharing.
Awww…what a beautiful photo of you two! Headed over now to read!
I think that one of the reason's I blog, even though like you I am mostly a pretty private person is 1 – to get out what's bothering me, but also 2- if I can help someone with my words and experiences that's all worth it.
So glad you trusted me, my friend. xo
So glad you gave me the encouragement I needed to do it. Honestly I could have talked myself right out of it if you were not at the other end of my emails. Thank you.
I'm glad you shared such an honest piece.
I am too, it felt good to share and be just as accepted as I was the day before.
Hi Jessica, I just returned from Mommypants and wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed that post. I really think that it is something that should be passed on to new mothers. Amazing.
I loved your post and commented there too. You're terrific!
Thanks so much!
Thanks for being brave enough to share. I remember feeling that panicky I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing feeling twice now. You are an amazing, courageous mother.
That was an amazing post and having been there to see you become a young mother and your determination to get through high school and college while raising a wonderful daughter was amazing. You and your parents did a wonderful job and brought us an great young lady in Ashlyn. She has brought so much joy to our family and we have learned so much from her.
Love that post of you two. Going to check out your post Jess. I am sure it is amazing just like you.
oh my goodness I am so glad you sent me there. It all reminds me of ME so muchhh! I am so glad you stayed with the father and I am always thinking that when I have kids again how exciting it's going to be being able to proudly walk around with my big belly instead of people staring at me. You are really an inspiration and thank you so much for your sweet comment to me!
I'm glad you liked it Brooke. I actually didn't stay with her dad, I met my husband when she was 7 and the rest is history. Yes, shopping for maternity clothes is much more fun the second/planned time around. I wish you all the happiness in the world!
Your post was beautiful
I'd give you a hug but…that wouldn't help 🙂
Off to see what awesomeness you have now
I can handle virtual hugs so I will take it, thanks 😉
I'm gonna go read the post now but I had to comment on this awesomely sweet picture first. Love it!!
It was a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing your story. You kids are so fortunate to have such a loving mother.
I was 19 when I got pregnant with my oldest, 20 when I had him. I'm now 28 and still feel those feelings in public- when people at work find out I have kids and they ask how old I still feel embarrassed to say "8"- I still feel like I will be judged…
but I know I'm a fabulous mom 🙂 (as you were and are)
I'm so glad it is not just me. I mean I am sorry you have those feelings too but I have always felt bad that I wasn't more confident about telling people my age. I would rather them see what kind of mother I am first.
I'm glad you wrote that! I figured out pretty quickly that you had Ashlyn very young, and always wondered about it all, especially since you were young AND then had to figure out how to raise a child with autism when autism wasn't as out there as it is now. But I figured you would share when/if you were ready.