You know you’re the mom to more than one young child when:
1. You have memorized the location of every drive-thru Starbucks within a 60 mile radius (or drive-thru anything for that matter, getting in and out of the car more than once per outing is not an option).
2. You never park next to another mom-vehicle. The threat of sippy cups, cheerios and spare diapers tumbling out at her feet as you open your door is far too great a risk.
3. You sniff butts. Often. When the air reeks the perpetrator is not obvious. You must bend to their levels and inhale.
4. You do not book any appointment, outing or playdate before 10 am, unless you set your alarm for 4 am to begin the preparations, of course delaying dressing yourself until 1 minute before leaving, unless a shirt tie-dyed in juice with pants coated in crusted-on mush is your style.
5. Your palms sweat as you enter the parking lot of your local grocery store, circling the lot for that massive cart they only have two of. Your shopping trip, your empty cupboards and the remainder of your sanity are all counting on this two-in-a-million find.
6. You scour class descriptions for your youngster that do not contain the words “1:1 parent/child ratio required.” No need to pay a babysitter AND a gymnastics instructor.
7. You open the door to the exam room you have been waiting in for your pediatrician in order to share your misery, it is now passed someone’s nap time and everyone’s lunch time and maybe if they hear the sounds of the trapped animals you are trying to tame they will come see you next.
8. You have mastered the art of picking up all non-living objects with your feet. Your hands are constantly full and an extra appendage or two is always a plus.
9. You can play Thomas the Train while fastening a princess dress, nursing a baby and reading “Goodnight Moon.” The concept of waiting their turn has not quite kicked in yet.
10. You are never, ever not needed. Sometimes a curse, always a blessing.
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