You know you’re the mom to more than one young child when:
1. You have memorized the location of every drive-thru Starbucks within a 60 mile radius (or drive-thru anything for that matter, getting in and out of the car more than once per outing is not an option).
2. You never park next to another mom-vehicle. The threat of sippy cups, cheerios and spare diapers tumbling out at her feet as you open your door is far too great a risk.
3. You sniff butts. Often. When the air reeks the perpetrator is not obvious. You must bend to their levels and inhale.
4. You do not book any appointment, outing or playdate before 10 am, unless you set your alarm for 4 am to begin the preparations, of course delaying dressing yourself until 1 minute before leaving, unless a shirt tie-dyed in juice with pants coated in crusted-on mush is your style.
5. Your palms sweat as you enter the parking lot of your local grocery store, circling the lot for that massive cart they only have two of. Your shopping trip, your empty cupboards and the remainder of your sanity are all counting on this two-in-a-million find.
6. You scour class descriptions for your youngster that do not contain the words “1:1 parent/child ratio required.” No need to pay a babysitter AND a gymnastics instructor.
7. You open the door to the exam room you have been waiting in for your pediatrician in order to share your misery, it is now passed someone’s nap time and everyone’s lunch time and maybe if they hear the sounds of the trapped animals you are trying to tame they will come see you next.
8. You have mastered the art of picking up all non-living objects with your feet. Your hands are constantly full and an extra appendage or two is always a plus.
9. You can play Thomas the Train while fastening a princess dress, nursing a baby and reading “Goodnight Moon.” The concept of waiting their turn has not quite kicked in yet.
10. You are never, ever not needed. Sometimes a curse, always a blessing.
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d, the undomestic ho says
Beautiful picture. And post. 🙂
Hahaha! Love this! Is it sad that I have no children of my own and yet I still do several of these things? (I'm a nanny). Good stuff here for sure!
OMG — I think I've done all of these!! Loved this post.
The Flying Chalupa says
How is it that your hair looks amazing in this picture? How? I need to know.
And sniffing butts? Is what I do best. And I only have one kid. Sad, isn't it?
Also, every Starbucks should be a drive-thru. There are NONE near me.
You sniff butts and have no Starbucks drive-thru? How can this be?
Thanks for the hair compliment, I think the camera may be giving off a false
effect but I'll take it 😉
Nina Badzin says
LOVE them all. But #6 and #7 are SO me! This was great!
Julie Gardner says
First – what a BEAUTIFUL picture. I think I would have one hundred copies made and plastered all over my home if I ever looked that good when my babies were young enough to be in a sling.
Secondly – thank you so much for your oh-s-sweet words about my guest post. You are too kind and your support means so much to me. Truly.
Third – I relate to your entire mommy list. I had to laugh out loud at the sniffing butts comment – because that is SO TRUE but not anything we really like to consider we do/did. Often.
Ah yes, it's a glamorous life. In any case, I do hope your Valentine's Day is as beautiful as you.
You crack me up about the feet picker-uppers. I've always done that too! 🙂
Adrienne May says
LOVE the mom list, I can totally relate.
OMG I'm not alone in picking up everything with my feet!!! I love this post. I do everything on it.
I never park next to another mom mobile because it's usually 2 larger cars and it's hard to fit me and the kids in between 2 cars, to get them into their carseats. 🙂
You have no idea how many times I've done #7 – in fact, we're headed to the Peds office today. Wish us luck! BTW, beautiful pic.
Sarah Halstead says
I love this!! Great and funny post.
By Word of Mouth Mus says
Love that photo, such bliss .. and peaceful 🙂
When mine were little and we were living in Pittsburgh, there was NOT a drive thro Starbucks -anywhere … I was so jealous of anyone who would mention that they had one near them. We were renovating when my eldest was little, and she took naptime in the car since the jackhammering was not conducive to sleep … I ate a lot of Mc Donalds fries while reading a book in the car. 🙂
Jessica, I absolutely love this and can scarily relate to everything on your list! OMG did I ever laugh at the butt sniffing. So true! Happy Valentine's Day! That photo is divine. 🙂
What time do your kids get up? 10 am is dangerously close to nap time over here.
10 am used to be naptime around her too, those were the days when we never left the house at all.
Megan (Best of Fates says
Wait – so you're saying it's weird to sniff butts *before* being a mom?
Oh, it is all SO SO very true! And I love the photo!! That is gorgeous!
I love the photo!!!! and yes, I can't possibly get out the door before 10 a.m.!!!
Oh no, and aren't your kids older than mine? I was really hoping this was a temporary thing.
LMAO this is so awesome. And I LOOOOOOOOOVE that picture!!
I KNEW you would appreciate the butt sniffing one… just for you.
You know me too well
And you are one amazing mom…….
Thank you 🙂