Well I am back.
We happen to still be in the trenches of the plague that struck over a week ago but after 9 straight days I feel confident I have some advice to share:
1. Do not go visit preschools toting all of your young children who have barely left the house their entire life and have no immunity to anything.
2. Do not let these curious young children touch ANYTHING within the walls of each preschool.
3. Do not forget to cover their entire bodies with hand sanitizer after leaving said preschool.
4. If you get the inclination to take your children to one of those insane child play areas after said preschool tours as the icing on the germ/plague transferring cake, don’t do it, turn the minivan around and return to your highly sanitized home.
5. As children undoubtedly begin to contract the plague, place each child securely in his or her own bubble, complete with sippy cup, bed, blanket, pillow and a collection of Dora movies.
6. If said bubble bursts follow plague-ridden child around with hand sanitizer, antibacterial wipes, his or her own personal potty and a fly swatter to shoo away uninfected siblings.
7. Once uninfected siblings become infected get yourself some wine, drink straight from the bottle, they are too sick to notice.
8. When taking the child who is currently the most ill to the pediatrician do not put the diaper bag at his feet in the vehicle and do not leave it unzipped. Especially if said child has a tendency to throw up. Often.
9. When the thought crosses your mind to bring towels to put on said child’s lap while you are still in your driveway, put the car in park and go get them. Do not decide things will be fine and proceed to the doctor’s office without towels covering said child from head to toe.
10. Look carefully for onlookers before leaving your vehicle as you attempt to carry a sick child into your pediatrician’s office wearing nothing but a winter hat, coat, and your scarf on his legs in the dead of winter while repeating the words “come on, come on, follow me, keep walking” to his wandering siblings who have no regards for temperature or traffic.
11. Once home from pediatrician, ER and a brief hospital stay repeat step 7.
12. And lastly, do not, I repeat, do not, get sick yourself. If your name is Mom, you are not allowed.
What is your best parenting advice when dealing with sick children? I would love to hear it, especially if it involves a ridiculous mistake you made that will make me feel better about the blunders of my week.
In the spirit of advice, my blog is in the running to be one of the Top 25 Moms Blogs for Parenting Advice and Tips at Circle of Moms. I would love your vote. You can vote once per day (just in case you want to go back and do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next day after that). Just click HERE and scroll down a bit until you see me. Thank you!!
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