When our children are sick or when crisis takes over our lives, moms tend to take on a whole new persona.
After spending the last two weeks in and out of the pediatrician’s office, the emergency room and the hospital (sounds fun doesn’t it?) I think I have encountered the full spectrum of personalities:
1. The Over-Crier- She blubbers through everything, EVERYTHING. Checking her child’s pulse can send her into heaving sobs and don’t even come near them with that stethoscope. And a needle? Well you might as well admit Mommy to the psych floor.
2. The Over-Sharer- She has her own diagnosis, a mouth that cannot stop spewing unnecessary statements about her self, her income, her husband, her mother. I am assuming her nerves are causing this but there’s a chance it is a chronic condition. Favorite example (to a male doctor): “I’m sorry doctor, this all just sucks, I mean my son is admitted and then I start my period. Can I get free pads while I’m here?”
3. The Over-Caffeinated- A cup of coffee, or even a sip is too much for this bundle of nerves. The thought of sick kids, hospitals and anything that might happen next has this mom unable to sit still for more than half a second. She fidgets, she hovers over her child, her heart beats faster when her cell phone dies and she can no longer call/tweet/text while her child sleeps, she bites anyone’s head off who dares give her the wrong answer or <gasp> takes too long to respond to her child’s needs. (There is a slight chance that I fall in this category)
4. The Over-Tranquilized- A cup of coffee, or a pot, may do this mom some good. She is relaxed and calm and possibly snoring as her child lays in a hospital bed. The doctor must interrupt her snores to give the latest update and her favorite question is “Can we go home yet?” which she asks over the sounds of her child’s beeping monitors and gasping cough.
I’m not sure there is any right “mom type” for managing life when your kids are ill but I would imagine it would be some sort of super mom who is calm, collected and has several assistants, a chef, a nanny and a maid. I have yet to come in contact with said Supermom and hope to not spend any more time researching this subject.
So which one are you? What is your best coping strategy when times are tough?
AND… if you have a moment, I am still in the running to be in the Top 25 Blogs for Parenting Advice and Tips at Circle of Moms. Voting ends March 16th and I would love your vote every day until then. Thanks so much!!
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Pamela Gold says
I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m a crier. Especially with my toddler. OMG!
I think I am the stoic Mum who is wondering what is going to happen this time and how the ones at home are doing, are they worrying themselves sick? My mind is everywhere. It’s afterwards that I go to pieces.
I always thought I’d be a calm cool mom.
I ran a crisis home for troubled youth a few years ago and being cool under pressure was my job.
My baby put her teeth through her lip.
I was a crazy person.
I ran around screaming.
This was not calm or cool.
ALL OF THE ABOVE! Ugh… I only have one so I don’t even get to complain compared to everything that you have going on in your house. I can’t even imagine! Wishing you healthier and sunnier days ahead. 🙂
I am all of them.
And that’s OK.
Hope everyone stays well!!
Amy Hillis says
*snort* I’ve seen a lot of those moms during our various stays, I’d say because of all the hospitalizations spread out over 4 boys, I’m the over-tranquilized one and that’s on massive amounts of caffeine! I’m pretty sure I started out somewhere between mom 2 & 3 – until my caffeine requirement became so high, it no longer affects me! Sorry it’s been such a crappy couple of weeks. Here’s hoping to Good Health!
I don’t know which of those I am. I tend to get very quiet and just worry inside, and my technique for dealing with the tough times is to take a nap. For me, it always makes me feel better after.
I think I teeter between the first 3 from time to time. But not to the level you described. Like the more moderate version of those women. 😉 I’m not really an over-crier, but for some reason when I see Jack cry in pain, my eyes well up. It’s just my natural reaction. So sorry to hear about all you trips to the doctor. Hopefully this is all just happening at once and then you’ll be done for awhile!
By Word of Mouth Musings says
With all you have been thro lately, feel free to be any kind you want!
I jump from one mama personality to another all the time, it seems!
Elena @NaynaDub says
I’m the annoying one who fits into all the categories! Every single doctors office I’ve ever been a patient in knows my voice the moment I call (not a joke!). I’m pretty sure the fertility clinic and OB almost banned me during my first pregnancy and before I conceived.
Hope all the kiddos are getting better!
I probably fit into several of these. Katie has been hospitalized twice and I might have lost it a couple times when she was 1)screaming in pain and the nurse never came so I had to go searching and 2)when she was hooked up to a bunch of stuff, had to pee, and after several “calls” no one came and I had to have her pee into a random bucket in the room. I am not a good hospital mother, I can tell you that. Although, I generally don’t overcry…I just get bitchy. ; ) And even though google is my BFF I don’t share my dx with the dr’s…haha.
Oh you sound like me, I am nice until they don’t respond fast enough, then WATCH OUT.
Just Like June says
I’m the over-achiever. The Mom, or daughter, or wife, that pretends that these things just happen and you have to keep truckin; along. Then I lay awake in bed at night crying profusely and choking on my own breath. I don’t suggest this route.
I hope things are ok. This is my first time here and I need to explore, so I’m sorry I’m not quite sure what’s going on. But I can tell you right now, no matter which one of these you are, you’re Mama first and foremost and THAT’s what your kid needs. A warm, loving, Mama.
Just Like June
Nancy C says
I start as the over-crier. Then, once I put my war paint on, I am the compulsive over-texter. Yes! You nailed it just so.
But you know what? You’re there! That’s exactly what our kids need, regardless of how we cope.
Sorry for your rough weeks. XOXO
I can picture these moms, and I’m not sure which one I would be! I have had so few times to be in the ER with my kids, thankfully. I do remember being at the Children’s Hospital with my daughter when she had a head injury (turned out fine) and I was so struck by the calmness of it all. And kids that I saw were so sick, it made me very sad.
You have sure been through the wringer! Here’s to a better week…
I may be the over-caffeinated one.
I like to think I play it super cool though.
When I went through the scariest stuff- after my oldest was born we found out he had heart defects, later went into congestive heart failure, and at one point he required surgery. I never thought of myself as a strong person- yet I always held it together and was the one that kept her head on her shoulders. It was always after, when he was in the clear, and everything was okay again, that I would lose it and break down.
I am number one for sure…..
Praying that everyone is starting to get healthy again!! Miss you guys!
I am so sorry you had to go through the whole ER/hospital deal. We did our two day stint plus 3 days of pedi follow-ups and I would like to think that if any, I was a blend of type 3 and 4, but only 4 out of sheer exhaustion. Hope things are on the upswing!
Jen and Cami
Cheryl D. says
I don’t fall into any of those categories. Actually, I probably fall into all of them, just about!
I hope things are going better now!
oh my goodness I am so sorry you’re going through a rough time with everything! I really hope everything starts getting better for you and your family! I am the calm one and was just talking to my fiance about this. I like to stay calm and analyze things before freaking out unless it’s obvious I should be freaking out! haha
Memoirs of a Single Dad says
I had an experience with the various faces of mom a few weeks ago when a good friend’s little boy (1 yr) was admitted to the hospital. She went through just about every phase you list culminating with the sleep-for-two-days-straight phase when they were finally discharged and the little man was given a clean bill of health. I’ve yet to see a supermom but I know to be extra patient with all the other super-stressed mommy personalities.
I don’t think I fit into any of those categories. I tend to be very quiet and shy in the doctor’s office. My coping strategy is to call my mom and my husband and tell them all my worries but not share with others. I hope you don’t have to spend any more time in the doctor’s office or ER.