Before I go any further, Tina at Life Without Pink was kind enough to post my question about separation anxiety in her “Tips from the Playground” series today. If you have advice for me or a question you want answered make sure you stop by.
So on to my story…
Last week, Natalie over at Mommy of a Monster and Twins wrote a hilarious post about Mommy-isms, the things she catches herself saying to her kids. After reading, I starting writing down a few of the things that come out of my mouth while managing this looney bunch and seriously? We are even crazier than I thought.
Here’s just a small sample of what I heard myself say this week:
Don’t lick the volleyball.
You cannot wear a tail until you put on underwear.
Whose pee is this?
It’s not yours?
Well who wet your pants?
Is this water?
It doesn’t smell like water.
Does it taste like water?
Well I am not going to taste it, are you? No you are not.
Why does Barbie have toothpaste in her hair?
No it is not blue shampoo.
Barbie’s hair is always clean.
Your brother does not want to eat your fingers.
You eat your fingers, he eats his.
Don’t stand on your sister’s butt.
Don’t stand on your brother’s butt.
Butts aren’t for standing.
You stood on the lady bug?
Well of course she is not moving anymore.
No, lady bugs cannot carry three year-olds, only mommies can.
Take that out of there, your underwear is not a pocket.
If you eat anymore play-doh you won’t be hungry for lunch.
Who taped the cupboards closed?
And my favorite of the week…
Do not tape your brother to the couch it is almost time for dinner.
What crazy things do you find yourself saying?
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Your underwear is not a pocket. LOVE! So funny!
Oh. My. Gosh! I can’t breathe from laughing SO hard! This was a great post. Which inspired me to share this with all you mom’s out there. hope you enjoy 🙂
LOL Love it!! I have said some seriously strange things to my kids over the years! I should write some of them down too. You can’t make this stuff up!
Completely HIlarious. OMG. I say the silliest things too, but no one ever hears them. What a great idea to share them with the blogoverse!
Oh, I’m cracking up at don’t tape him to the couch… it’s almost time for dinner.
B/c any other time, that’s just fine! 😉
Of course it is. Especially if it keeps at least one of them still. 🙂
SO FUNNY…Mostly because I can relate to every one of them. My favorite THIS week was…”Who painted eyebrows on the dog?”
I have just the one boy but I find myself saying “Do not play with your balls inside! Take them outside to play!” which sounds oh so obscene!
Memoirs of a Single Dad says
“Well who wet your pants?”
The answer to this was almost me!
“butts aren’t for standing” Awesome.
I love the added “it’s almost time for dinner” after don’t tape your brother to the couch. A phrase that I am certain to say at some point having two boys.
Haha love these! I especially love that you can’t have a tail until after putting on underwear 😉
I can’t wait to see what I come up with when Rissa starts walkin’ and talkin’!
Thanks for visiting – following you now!
I love that the reason is because it’s dinner. Not the myriad of other reasons why it’s a bad idea.
This is AWESOME!! Love them all but can totally relate to “Take that out of there, your underwear is not a pocket.”
Oh my….I actually have tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard. My hubbie is too – he wanted to know why I almost fell off the computer chair laughing. Will have to give this a try some time too.
Ha ha! Hilarious! I need to start writing down mine!
LOL!!! This post is hilarious. I think this is my favorite: Take that out of there, your underwear is not a pocket.
Hope you’re enjoying your weekend!
OMG Jessica! I was laughing hysterically at these!
The ladybug one is killer! (no pun intended)
Oh man, too funny! From me, one of my favorites was in a restaurant to my eight year old son.
“Are you okay in there?” (bathroom)
“yeah, I just have to put my pants back on.”
“Why are your pants OFF?”
“I always take my pants off when I go to the bathroom.”
“Well…you are not allowed to take your pants off when you go to the bathroom in public anymore.”
Tina @ Life Without Pink says
Love this! I am often telling my son to take his hands out of his pants….oh boys!
So funny. I actually had to tell mine yesterday to, “stop changing clothes, a little bit of pee on your shirt is ok.” I think I’ve lost touch with reality.
your underwear is not a pocket? HILARIOUS!
This morning I said, “Eddie, no. that is not what your toothbrush is for” AND “kleenex boxes really don’t work as shoes.”
within 30 minutes of getting up.
My two all-time favorites:
“There are still pieces of skeleton on the kitchen table. If anyone wants to keep them, they need to be moved.”
and (drum roll)
“you may only touch your own penis.”
By Word of Mouth Musings says
In spite of this post, yes, you may still bring your kids to stay this Summer 😉
So funny! My favorite is the eating play-doh one. I know I catch myself saying ridiculous things all the time, but I, too, have mommy brain and can’t think of any!
Karrie (Belle's Books, Personalized Children's Books) says
Pffffff… ok! Those were SO funny and only a fellow mommy would understand how those mommyisms actually make sense in conversations with kids! LoL! One of my favorites… “No son, guns and ammo are not allowed at the dinner table.” I love what kids bring out of us! 😉
Leigh Ann (The Twin Spin) says
Thanks for the laugh today Jessica! The ladybug one was my favorite. Ladybugs, or any bugs for that matter, do not survive long in the hands of my children.
So funny. This is the stuff they should put in pregnancy books – What to Expect You’ll Say When You’re Expecting.
Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds says
I find myself talking about fairies and what we would do if we ever caught one. Not nearly as interesting as all that butt standing and underwear pocket business you have going on!
Pamela Gold says
What a great idea for a blog post! My son just turned 2 and I have 2 older boys as well so I know some of the things I blurt out are probably insane and sometimes, even inappropriate. Will keep track from now on to write a post.
I love how it sounds as if taping him to the couch if it wasn’t dinner time would be OK. 🙂
I love the tail/underwear one the best.
This is fantastic. So funny. 🙂
Galit Breen says
Ohmygoodness friend! The laughs! The pure laughs that we can have when we sit and down and relax about all of the pee and toothpaste?
OMG did I just write about pee and toothpaste in your comments?!
I’ll be linking back to you when I post my list too! That is, if I’m not too embarrassed to post my list! LOL! 🙂
Oh my goodness! That is great! I am sooo going to do this for a week, because some pretty crazy things come out of my mouth as well, and anyone who’s not a mom just doesn’t understand. So, is it ok to link back to your post and Natalie’s post when I create my own list? (sorry, I’m really new to all the blogging rules and etiquette, so I need all the help I can get.)
Definitely, link back to both of us and let me know when you do, I would love to read!
I am always shocked by what I find in diapers and underwear other than what you would expect to find…it is like they use them as a pocket!!
And the butt one? Butts aren’t for standing, heads aren’t for standing, bellies aren’t for jumping on…
Great job!! I love reading these! I’m going to include your post in my Saturday favorites…thanks for the shout out 🙂
Yay, thanks Natalie!! And thanks so much for the inspiration. I had always wanted to keep track of the stuff that I say but just never took the time to do it.
Absolutely hilarious! I have never actually sat down and thought about the crazy things I say while handling these Three Musketeers of mine, but boy yours are quite a laugh! I will definitely have to write down what I’m saying just for a good laugh this week. Thanks for the fun!
I should have known better than to read this while eating.
Recently I’ve had to tell my son to stop smelling his sister’s butt. I also had to ask why water was dripping from the Etch-a-Sketch. At least I think it’s water.
Mad Woman behind the Blog says
This is what I’m missing by working? Seriously need to consider the SAHM gig. These were awesome.
I loved “your underwear is not a pocket.”
LOL at the taping of the cupboards and the sibling. I really need to start keeping track of what I say.
I love having these written down. so funny.
What a great idea to write all of those down! I’m sure I have some doosies too!! Thanks for the smiles to start off my day today!!
It is hilarious the things we say. I love trying to rational with the kids not to eat play-doh so they still want to eat lunch. Hilarious! I commented to Natalie that she needs to bring this series back because I think it is absolutely hysterical. I could probably write 10 things down every hour! 😉
I love that last one. I can just see 12 trying to tape 18 to the couch. He would probably let her too. So there’s good news, it’s not just when they’re little you find yourself using Mummyisms. Last night’s was, “no you can’t lie on your brother, you’ll squish him like a bug.”
Hilarious! I loved the lady bug one and don’t tape your brother to the couch.
If my mommy brain wasn’t so bad I would be able to remember the crazy things I tell my kids.
This was great!!
Stephanie @ The Blue Zoo says
LOL I love those!! So funny! I’ll have to write down some of the stuff I say.
I, too have been really listening to all the mom-isms I’ve been saying lately too thanks to Natalie’s post. They are funny and often ridiculous sounding but nevertheless necessary!
HAHA That is awesome. What an entertaining post to read, lol I know the feeling. Wow, some of the things are just something you would think only a crazy person would ever be talking about. lol I love that 🙂