I begin to tuck them in.
Lift covers up to the first little chin, shift hair, the color of my own, off his sweet forehead, and kiss pink cheeks.
I lean over his sister, the final goodnight of our bedtime routine, and they are already climbing out.
Tell us “The Baby Story” Mommy.
My heart smiles as I gather them in my lap.
I thought they would never ask…
Once upon a time Mommy’s tummy was so big.
It was so, SO big.
It was so big because there were THREE babies in Mommy’s tummy.
And who were those babies in Mommy’s tummy?
We tick off my fingers together…
Parker, McKenna and Hadley.
Well Parker, McKenna and Hadley were so squished.
They were so, SO squished.
I squeeze them until their cheeks flush together. They laugh through baby teeth and puckered lips.
They were so squished that Parker said, “Let us OUT!”
I let them go, tumbling into a pile of giggles.
So the doctors opened up Mommy’s tummy and out came McKenna and then Parker and then Hadley.
Daddy looked at those babies and said, “I love you McKenna. I love you Parker. I love you Hadley.”
But Parker, McKenna and Hadley were so tiny.
They were so, SO tiny that they had to go to the special baby nursery.
Mommy and Daddy went to see Parker and McKenna and Hadley every day.
Every day we would hold you and love you and feed you and rock you.
And one day the doctor called Mommy and said, “Guess what Mommy? McKenna can come home!”
Mommy was so, so happy and she brought McKenna right home.
And then, a few days later the doctor called Daddy and said, “Guess what Daddy? Parker can come home too!”
Daddy was so, so happy and he brought Parker right home.
Mommy and Daddy were so happy to have Parker and McKenna home right before Christmas time because we loved them SO much.
Every day we would hold you and love you and squeeze you and kiss you.
Parker and McKenna got bigger and bigger.
They got so big that now they are…
Faces twist in concentration, using both hands to convince three little fingers to stand tall, they hold them up to my watering eyes.
THREE! They shout.
So proud, so happy,
just to be alive.
I kiss the tops of three year-old heads.
Content with their story, heavy eyelids droop to close.
Tiptoeing to the door I take a deep breath, and wish there was a happily ever after.
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What a lovely story to tell!
No wonder your kids love to hear the story. I wish I could find the words to do your beautiful entry justice, Jessica.
That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Like most here…. I am reading this through a smile and tears… A smile for your two beautiful, innocent children and for the one with her Angel wings. You are a beautiful writer. Thank you for sharing something so very personal.
I wish I could find the words to do your beautiful entry justice, Jessica. I read “Hadley’s Story” as well and am just overwhelmed by the strength and emotion in your words.
It’s too touching. I’m not sure what else I could say.
~Kat
Beautiful story, Jessica. I love the way you ended their story. You’re such an amazing Mommy. Wishing you and your babies lots more happiness as they grow.
Truly beautiful. I can’t imagine the heartache and how you were able to make the loss of your daughter sound almost matter of fact for your other children. Wonderful ending
Beautiful. Both my daughters were in the NICCU, and it was so hard. But I can’t even imagine what you had to go through. But I love how you make it something good for your babies. Thanks for sharing.
Precious, precious, precious. I clicked. : )
This story is so wonderful! The ending is filled with such joy!
Oh my goodness. My heart aches. This was such a great story though. You are amazing!
This is perfection. I almost couldn’t bear to read how you would end the story with them. It was beautiful, if not a happy ending.
I have no words, but a lot of tears. I think it’s amazing how you are turning your loss into something positive. Thank you for sharing your story.
Oh my stars. This is absolutely, absolutely beautiful. And made me cry. Your babies are miracles. I bet Hadley is listening to those Bedtime Stories from above…..glad for the time she had with you. XOXO.
Beautiful…and heartbreaking…and full of hope. I’m tweeting this now…
The march of dimes keeps getting closer and closer to my heart.
Unimaginable. Thank you for sharing your heart.
thank you for telling this story, and for showing how your children know their sister. thank you for advocating in response to the prompt too.
Beautiful and heartbreaking.
If this post alone isn’t reason to donate, I don’t know what is!
McKenna and Parker are lucky to be alive and very lucky to have you as their mother.
Loved this post. I lost one of my twin girls at 28 weeks. They were identicals. Your story resonated with me deeply. My surviving daughter will be 5 in October. I am amazed at how her birth and sisters death changed my life for the better. Yet Those sad moments still come. And I am ok with that. April 25 is the date we buried her, it’s coming up quickly. I honor and remember her by telling my story and writing about my journey.
Thank you so much for this post. It was so timely.
Oh, that was just beautiful. Sending you virtual hugs and positive thoughts tonight.
Gorgeous.
Owen like to hear his baby story too. Sometimes we both cry.
Gorgeous Jessica. I can see you telling them this story. And of course now I want to hug you
Wow that was so powerful. You are a talented writer Jessica and that post just hit me deep in my soul. So sorry once again for your loss and this post is a great way to get the word out about the March of Dimes.
This is so beautiful Jessica. You have a real gift with words and have used them so well with your kids. I really wish your story had a happy ending. Love to you all.
Lynn
What a beautiful routine you guys have at bedtime. I agree with Shell – I wish that you had that happy ending.
What a beautiful bedtime story…and what a special way for you to share the story with the kids. Love love love
What a sweet, sweet way to share this story with your kids.
I wish you had your happy ending, my friend. *hugs*
What a beautiful way to tell this story to your children, and a terrific cause.
One day, your kids will tell THEIR baby stories to their children… Love this post, stopping by from Kat’s…
I’ve read your post on Hadley’s story before, and I’m always humbled by your beautiful family. Even know that, this one still brought tears to my eyes. I love the celebration of their lives. And I feel you mourning hers.
What a wonderful bedtime story.
It’s a great baby story! They are lucky little ones indeed.
That hurts my heart.
That was a great way to share that.
Again, I was reading one of your posts with tears in my eyes…thanks for sharing your story and your daily struggles.
What a story and a great cause to support.
So beautiful Jessica!
As always Jessica, you take heartache and turn it into something beautiful.
You are keeping your daughters memory alive by remembering her with your children.
What a beautiful bedtime story.
What a wonderful bedtime story.
almost every single one of your posts makes me cry. đ
This is so beautiful. I can only imagine the pain & heart break, though.
Such a very sweet story, I loved it!
This made me cry. I love Hadley and I never met her. Your children are so sweet.
What a beautiful post! It brought tears to my eyes.
Oh this is so beautifully written. I can just picture them raising their three little fingers. Children cherish their stories. My middle schooleer was asking me just yesterday to tell her about how she came to be.
What a wonderful story for your children! I’m sure they love to hear it over and over again! Thank you for sharing! đ
That was just beautiful. No wonder your kids love to hear the story.
What a beautiful, gut-wrenching story. You have such a gift – your writing envokes powerful emotions. No matter how busy or bogged down you become, I hope you naver stop writing and sharing your gift with us,
Lovely…just lovely…your children will always appreciate the specialness of their birth and always remember their sibling.
I’m crying…so beautiful.
Tears, chills, and lots of love is what I have for you. This was a perfect post. XO
You writing is so beautiful. Hugs to you sweet friend. xo
I am moved to tears about how the kids know and love their sister through your words. I am so awed by your writing, Jessica.
Thank you so much Nancy. You have so much talent that to hear you say this is such a compliment.