When I was 18 I was already a mom.
I remember talking with friends about my plans for the future.
I would never wear mom-sweats (the yoga pant of today).
Make up would be a must before I left the house.
My pedicured foot would never touch the gas pedal of a minivan, only an SUV would do.
I would balance the corporate world and motherhood perfectly, my college degree far to important to “waste”.
And I would never let myself go “down hill” just because I was older and married and comfortable.
My future, prince-charming of a husband would be so lucky. I would be the mom husbands dreamt of having.
Fast forward many years, four more children and countless lessons in the realities of life, and there is so much I wish I could tell my disillusioned, 18 year old self.
I wish I could have told her that life is not all about looks and what kind of car you drive.
That with age comes experience and confidence and being true to who you are.
That being a mom, a good mom, has so much more to do with your heart and your spirit than what you wear to your first Mommy and Me class.
That turning the head of a guy when you look your best, pales in comparison to having a husband who will hold your hand and wipe your tears when you look your worst.
And your worth, what you truly feel good about, has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks, but those beautiful little people kissing your make up free cheek or tugging your yoga pants, as you lift them quickly into the minivan because you’re late for a very important meeting…
lunch with their Daddy.
——————
This post was written in response to prompt #1:
What was your big dream for yourself when you were 18 and had graduated from high school?
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Perfect. Love it. The picture just says it all.
Ah… what we didn’t know then that we without a doubt know now!
I love this, especially, this line: “…being a mom, a good mom, has so much more to do with your heart and your spirit than what you wear to your first Mommy and Me class.”
So funny isn’t it? What we used to think was important and matter is really the last on the list now that we are moms.
“That turning the head of a guy when you look your best, pales in comparison to having a husband who will hold your hand and wipe your tears when you look your worst.”<—– that is so true! And when that amazing husband still thinks you look beautiful, even though you really look awful!
LOVE that picture.
Yes, I am all about comfort AND being comfortable with myself. Imagine the girls nowadays, watching all these TV shows, where the women have hair and makeup coming to their house and they are always glammed-up mommies. Do they think they will need to be like that? I hope not. It is so not necessarily. Women are just as pretty, going about things in a natural way.
I think about that all the time and hope that somehow I can keep my girls from being influenced to heavily by all that they see in the media. I’m sure they will learn through trial and error like we did though.
We all were so daft when we were 18, weren’t we?
I thought I’d be a single woman in the Peace Corps out there changing the world, not a SAHM in charge of 2 little universes.
Adore the picture!
Came from TRDC.
That turning the head of a guy when you look your best, pales in comparison to having a husband who will hold your hand and wipe your tears when you look your worst.
No truer words have been spoken. If only we could give ourselves advice. How different would our lives be?
Stopping by from TRDC
This is so perfect!
We just don’t really know anything at that age yet, do we? Oh we think we do though… If only we could go back and tell our younger selves. Lovely post. 🙂
Beautifully written and so true.
What a beautiful post. This brought tears to my eyes. Very well written!
I love your posts, they are so beautiful. I also swore I would never go out in sweats (or yoga pants) and no makeup. I have stuck to the pants thing, but I rarely make it anywhere with makeup on 🙂 There are so many things that I did not know when I was 18 and idealistic.
Beautiful Jessica!
So perfect!
My favorite line was “That turning the head of a guy when you look your best, pales in comparison to having a husband who will hold your hand and wipe your tears when you look your worst.”
That line really resonates with me.
The picture is a lovely touch.
What a beautiful post. I always want to go back and meet with my 1st pregnancy self and tell her to drop all the idealistic thoughts as well. I loved this line “That turning the head of a guy when you look your best, pales in comparison to having a husband who will hold your hand and wipe your tears when you look your worst.” So true.
I love how you wrote this – and it is so true!!!! I loved the part about your husband touching your cheek when you’re crying and you look your worst. That is the best part!!!!
It’s so funny- the things that we think were important back then!
Love this!!! My fave: That being a mom, a good mom, has so much more to do with your heart and your spirit than what you wear to your first Mommy and Me class. <
I love it!!
Love this, Jessica. So many things we thought were important back then, but little did we know.
It’s good to be a grown-up.
It is isn’t it? Never thought I would say that when I was young.
What a fabulous post. I think so many of us were delusional when we were younger.
I definitely was!
Wow when people ask what is the meaning of life I can refer them to this post. This post lays out all that is important in life. Looks and lifestyle pale in comparison to love, family, and happiness.
So true Tim, great comment, now when are you starting that blog???
Aww.. Jessica. You are amazing. Love this, just like I love everything else you write. You are so talented.
You are so nice, what a great compliment!
I absolutely adore this. Especially this line “That turning the head of a guy when you look your best, pales in comparison to having a husband who will hold your hand and wipe your tears when you look your worst.”
You are gorgeous. Inside & out.
Oh sooo sweet! 18 yr olds don’t know anything 😉
Simply….beautiful. You have a way with words my dear!
Oh life sure does change from what we want when we are 18. No minivan, perfect body, a career that would make others jealous. Not always how life turns out. The children are what makes life better, not the money or stuff.
They are adorable all sleeping in the car.
I LOVE this post!! How true are all the points you made. If only we could have made our 18-year old self listen to this advice. But I guess sometimes experience is the only teacher. I love the comment you made about a husband holding and loving us at our worst.
Visiting from Mama Kat’s today; I also chose this prompt.
Like you, there are so many things I always thought I would never do and never be when I was 18. It is amazing how much life can change after nearly doubling that lifespan. At 18 you really think you know everything (at least I did). At 35 I feel like I know almost nothing… because I see how much I didn’t know that I thought I knew 🙂 What I have learned though is: 1.) You can’t tell any body anything that they are not ready to hear. 2.) You can’t teach anyone anything that they are not ready to learn. And 3.) You definitely can’t say “I Never”… because you almost always will. Great Post!
You have a great list too, you could turn this comment into a blog post. 🙂
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! Those fairy tale fantasies turn into fairy tale style love in a more real world…just lovely:0)
You definitely hit the nail on the head.
At 18, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I would be the mom who was perfectly dressed with the perfectly dressed kids. Now, I’m just happy that the kids get dressed. I don’t care if they match or have holes in the knees of their pants. And I’m wearing my mom-sweats as I type.
Me too and not a bit of make up!
Aww..that was so sweet!! It so true..being a mom you just can’t really be bothered about the dress up as compared to getting the kids ready and well fed.
Aww Alison you are so sweet!
This made me get choked up with tears! So beautiful and so true. I remember (before becoming a mom), swearing that I would make my baby wait, even cry, while I did my hair and makeup and when he was born, he became my #1 priority, my little prince!!
This is absolutely beautiful. I just love your writing. And I feel this post exactly!!! It’s amazing how you can think completely different in just a decade (or so) 🙂
So true! Love this!
You are my new favorite blogger! Love your post…I could never had said it better than you just did!
Awww, thank you! Love your “name” by the way. I am a big minivan fan. 🙂
What a lovely post…brought tears to my eyes. My favorite line…
“That turning the head of a guy when you look your best, pales in comparison to having a husband who will hold your hand and wipe your tears when you look your worst.”
Beautifully written, Jessica.
Thank you Jaime.
Just beautiful. I could not have imagined at 18 where my life would take me, I was so unformed then, like an amoeba.
I love how you had all these very clear ideas, but they were all about how things seem from the outside looking in, and you have found (as have so many of us) that life is really about the view from the inside, looking out at your lovely family, with love.
Lovely! I needed this today.
*Sigh* You told this so, so beautifully! It’s true, isn’t it? We’re so unaware of what it really means to be a mom, a grown up, to really love. This was lovely as usual!
Awe – that was lovely.
I remember saying that I’d never go out in public with sweatpants on…
and now I walk the dogs in my Ghostbuster flannel jammies. o well.
x
I love this. Being the FTM of a 5month old. I had alot of things I set for myself (even at 27)- that I now know just don’t matter. My 18 yr old self….well, she knew nothing.
Thanks for the post. Nice to read first thing this morning.
What a beautiful post! And what a gorgeous picture of your sleeping babes!
So right and so true. I think even if we are not 18 we all have these ideas how we are going to be the “perfect” mom and the “perfect” wife. Perfect turned out to look so much different than I thought.
Could I love you more? I don’t think so. xoxo