It all started when I emerged from the bathroom, drying the last child out of the tub.
My eyes began to water as I inhaled something that smelled chemicals-that-are-not-supposed-to-be-in-the-house-ish.
I entered the kitchen to find my son feather dusting the kitchen floor with leather conditioner.
And if that was not good enough, my little Sawyer, fresh from the tub and not even diapered, slid in a mysterious clear liquid in our dining room.
As I tried to pick him up I could not get ahold of him, he was too slippery.
He was slippery because he was rolling in TIRE WAX. ON. MY. WOOD. FLOOR.
How do these things happen? How do my children break into a child-proofed cabinet in five seconds and make a mess that could cause my house to spontaneously combust?
I have no idea.
All I know is that I cannot be alone, other children do these things right?
I’d love to hear your messy kid stories. Leave them in the comments please!
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Stacy Moses says
Hmmm- great idea. What a great idea! great kids!
Dana says
This concept makes me giggle! Every time that my daughter makes a mess, destroys something, cuts something to shreds (she WILL be a designer one day, right?) I take a picture. Bummed that your contest is over, but I actually will blog about this now too! I have a whole album called “Pey’s Messes”. She is Queen!
Meg says
What fun it’ll be to go through my pictures–laughing all the while I consult with the kids on the messiest one. My darlings are so, um, creative that my MOM stays with a friend when she comes to visit. Sigh.
Jessica says
So glad you are going to participate! I think people may be afraid to be our house guest too!
Cayla @ Smoke Free City says
I feel you when my kids messed up with my toilet tissue paper and baby powder! They put the powder all over their body and wrapped their whole body with a tissue paper and pretend to be a mummy! I was really furious on them! The floor is messed up with baby powder, and the toilet papers are rolling all over the floor! I don’t know how I will react and start questioning them who started it, of course they start pointing fingers that really annoyed me more! ha! great kids! Anyway thanks for the links!
Jessica says
Hope you have pictures and are planning to link up, sounds like your kids can make big messes like mine!
Ilana says
Great idea for a contest! I can’t compete with tire wax on a floor but I’ll link-up an old caption contest where Mazzy made quite a mess of some magazines if nothing better (worse) happens in the next couple of weeks!
Ryan (The Woven Moments) says
You should tell shitmykidsruined.com about your linkup! I’m sure you’d get some GREAT submissions! ๐
NotJustAnotherJennifer says
That’s awesome! (Love the new blog look, BTW!) I don’t know that I have photos, but there’s still time. Surely another disgusting disaster will happen that I can catch on film (digitally) before then. ๐
Amy says
This sounds like so much fun!!
Mommy's Paradise says
He he, so from now on I shoot before I clean.
I love your idea about the linky with this subject, I’m sure it’s going to make the day of everyone when we can see that our sweety is not the only one. LOL
manish2010 says
Hey Jessica!
I really have concern with you in that context,But tell me one thing Jessica,do you think that we should get panic when our sweet baby do such kind of messes??….No doubt mine are also do such kind of messes and I’m gonna shoot those moments from now for taking a part in that great contest,but i really love those sweet baby DO’s,Actually kids are so innocent and they don’t know what exactly they are doing and how it will affect there parents.So i suggest you not to get panic and stressed just enjoy those moments and yes capture them in your camera for feeling joy in future.Thank you for sharing your valuable thoughts.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
Ashley says
This is awesome! What a great idea to help ease the insanity of messes!!! Maybe we can do one for husbands next?! hahaha
Jessica says
Oooh, good idea!!
Sarah says
Ha ha! Love it.
Nella says
Oh, what a cool linky! I like the idea a lot!
But tire wax on your wooden floor, man that’s not funny at all ๐ I’m sure your kids are angels and someone else opened that cabinet fro them ๐
Jessica says
I\’m sure you are right :). I mean what child would ever put tire wax, that takes weeks to completely get off of a wood floor, on my floor?
Jenny says
What a fun idea for a contest! I am truly sorry about your floors and child, though! Hope your weekend is better! ๐
Kate says
This is going to be awesome! I can’t wait to see them all!
Does a 2 year old clogging the toilet & it taking EIGHT days to get it unclogged count as a disaster?! Because that’s what it felt like!
Jessica says
Of course that counts as a disaster, as long as you have a picture to prove it ;).
Leighann says
Another awesome idea Jessica!!
Jennie B says
Moe eats Jello with his hands. He can turn a cereal bar into a full body experience. This should be good…
Jessica says
See, and for once you can win something for it :).
Tina @ Life Without Pink says
Oh I have two messy boys! Unfortunately when they do it I’m by myself and never get to take a photo of it…we’ll see what the next two weeks bring ๐
Jessica says
So funny, for once everyone will be waiting for the disaster to happen.
Tonya says
Oh, poor you!
What a fun idea, though! I can’t wait to read about all the messy children out there. So far (KNOCK ON WOOD), Lucas hasn’t made a huge mess yet. He knocked over my purse once and I have found him in a pile of toilet paper, but that’s it. Maybe he will so I link up. ๐
Kimberly says
Oh, this is such a fun idea! Not for our houses or sanity, but you know what I mean!
With 3 boys I’m destined to run into some kind of mess! I’m in!
Jessica says
Yay, this will be the only time ever everyone is hoping there kids do something.
Shell says
Two words for you: Gorilla Glue.
And two more: I win.
Or maybe: I lose. LMAO
Jessica says
So funny, I was thinking the same. Is the winner actually the winner? For a few minutes yes but in the long run, we\’ve still got our leather waxed floor and you\’ve still got your Gorilla Glued couch.
Elena says
What a fun linkup! I love Shaklee products & my boys are very messy – so I’m in!
Mrs. Jen B says
Oh my lord. At least something entertaining will come out of the pain of you and so many others who deal with crazy kids! I can’t wait to see the fun.
Alexandra says
Cue evil cackle of a laugh.
OH YES!
IT IS NOW YOUR TURN, LADIES!
I am loving this BIG TIME
Don’t mind me–I’ll just pull up a chair and watch the loveliness unfold.
Jessica says
You know we could use a third judge if you want to join in. Three would be perfect. Just like American Idol but without the record contract at the end.
liz says
I’m trying to remember who had the kid who covered everything in Vase-o-line?!? Do you know who I’m talking about?
Jessica says
I do but I can\’t remember who it was, I remember seeing it and thinking that would be something my kids would do. Shoot, now it\’s going to bug me.
Kmama says
Oh my goodness. I am so thankful (and lucky) that my kids don’t make messes like that. I think the worst is a spilled drink or food item.
Yes, I’m knocking on wood, praying, and crossing my fingers that I didn’t just jinx myself.
Jessica says
You ARE lucky, how did you get those kinds of kids?
Jen says
Oh, I can’t wait!! What a great idea!
Megan (Best of Fates) says
Urgness – I hate contests I can’t participate in! Clearly I need to steal some children to have a chance at this title.
Jessica says
Shoot, you can participate. How about messy friends? Animals? If you don\’t have any options swing by next time you are in Michigan, I will have my kids ready.
Natalie says
Oh, kids are all sorts of awesome, aren’t they? I can’t wait for this!
Jessica says
Oh they are, let me know if you ever need the secret to getting tire wax off a baby. So glad you are going to be a judge, can\’t wait!
By Word of Mouth Musings says
Oh, do I have a picture you would not be expecting ๐
Jessica says
Yay, can\’t wait!!
Barbara says
I feel your pain! I have no idea how my 20 month old can open a child proof cabinet and I can’t ! Tire wax on the floor…ouch!
Jessica says
You would not believe how hard it was to get off, we had a slippery coating on the floor for ages, everyone was falling in our dining room. So fun.
angela says
I have a cabinet breaker-inner as well. I am sure he (and Abbey) will be absolute angels until July 30th, just to be difficult ๐
Making It Work Mom says
Hmmm- great idea. My tween’s room can get pretty messy in that clothes all over the floor, dirty dishes and food remains scattered around type of way. You know like a twenty something’s apartment who has been on a drunken bender for a few days.
Jessica says
That works! And I\’m sure she won\’t think it\’s remotely strange that you are taking a picture of it ;).