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My Kids Are the Messiest

By Jessica

It all started when I emerged from the bathroom, drying the last child out of the tub.

My eyes began to water as I inhaled something that smelled chemicals-that-are-not-supposed-to-be-in-the-house-ish.

I entered the kitchen to find my son feather dusting the kitchen floor with leather conditioner.

And if that was not good enough, my little Sawyer, fresh from the tub and not even diapered, slid in a mysterious clear liquid in our dining room.

As I tried to pick him up I could not get ahold of him, he was too slippery.

He was slippery because he was rolling in TIRE WAX. ON. MY. WOOD. FLOOR.

How do these things happen? How do my children break into a child-proofed cabinet in five seconds and make a mess that could cause my house to spontaneously combust?

I have no idea.

All I know is that I cannot be alone, other children do these things right?

I’d love to hear your messy kid stories. Leave them in the comments please!

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50 Comments Filed Under: Musings of Motherhood


Comments

  1. Stacy Moses says

    March 9, 2013 at 7:11 am

    Hmmm- great idea. What a great idea! great kids!

    Reply
  2. Dana says

    September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    This concept makes me giggle! Every time that my daughter makes a mess, destroys something, cuts something to shreds (she WILL be a designer one day, right?) I take a picture. Bummed that your contest is over, but I actually will blog about this now too! I have a whole album called “Pey’s Messes”. She is Queen!

    Reply
  3. Meg says

    July 16, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    What fun it’ll be to go through my pictures–laughing all the while I consult with the kids on the messiest one. My darlings are so, um, creative that my MOM stays with a friend when she comes to visit. Sigh.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 16, 2011 at 10:16 pm

      So glad you are going to participate! I think people may be afraid to be our house guest too!

      Reply
  4. Cayla @ Smoke Free City says

    July 6, 2011 at 1:58 am

    I feel you when my kids messed up with my toilet tissue paper and baby powder! They put the powder all over their body and wrapped their whole body with a tissue paper and pretend to be a mummy! I was really furious on them! The floor is messed up with baby powder, and the toilet papers are rolling all over the floor! I don’t know how I will react and start questioning them who started it, of course they start pointing fingers that really annoyed me more! ha! great kids! Anyway thanks for the links!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 6, 2011 at 7:50 am

      Hope you have pictures and are planning to link up, sounds like your kids can make big messes like mine!

      Reply
  5. Ilana says

    July 5, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Great idea for a contest! I can’t compete with tire wax on a floor but I’ll link-up an old caption contest where Mazzy made quite a mess of some magazines if nothing better (worse) happens in the next couple of weeks!

    Reply
  6. Ryan (The Woven Moments) says

    July 5, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    You should tell shitmykidsruined.com about your linkup! I’m sure you’d get some GREAT submissions! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  7. NotJustAnotherJennifer says

    July 5, 2011 at 11:17 am

    That’s awesome! (Love the new blog look, BTW!) I don’t know that I have photos, but there’s still time. Surely another disgusting disaster will happen that I can catch on film (digitally) before then. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  8. Amy says

    July 4, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    This sounds like so much fun!!

    Reply
  9. Mommy's Paradise says

    July 3, 2011 at 7:40 am

    He he, so from now on I shoot before I clean.
    I love your idea about the linky with this subject, I’m sure it’s going to make the day of everyone when we can see that our sweety is not the only one. LOL

    Reply
  10. manish2010 says

    July 3, 2011 at 5:59 am

    Hey Jessica!
    I really have concern with you in that context,But tell me one thing Jessica,do you think that we should get panic when our sweet baby do such kind of messes??….No doubt mine are also do such kind of messes and I’m gonna shoot those moments from now for taking a part in that great contest,but i really love those sweet baby DO’s,Actually kids are so innocent and they don’t know what exactly they are doing and how it will affect there parents.So i suggest you not to get panic and stressed just enjoy those moments and yes capture them in your camera for feeling joy in future.Thank you for sharing your valuable thoughts.
    Good Luck and God Bless!!

    Reply
  11. Ashley says

    July 2, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    This is awesome! What a great idea to help ease the insanity of messes!!! Maybe we can do one for husbands next?! hahaha

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 5, 2011 at 7:09 am

      Oooh, good idea!!

      Reply
  12. Sarah says

    July 2, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Ha ha! Love it.

    Reply
  13. Nella says

    July 2, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    Oh, what a cool linky! I like the idea a lot!
    But tire wax on your wooden floor, man that’s not funny at all ๐Ÿ™ I’m sure your kids are angels and someone else opened that cabinet fro them ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 5, 2011 at 7:10 am

      I\’m sure you are right :). I mean what child would ever put tire wax, that takes weeks to completely get off of a wood floor, on my floor?

      Reply
  14. Jenny says

    July 2, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    What a fun idea for a contest! I am truly sorry about your floors and child, though! Hope your weekend is better! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  15. Kate says

    July 2, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    This is going to be awesome! I can’t wait to see them all!

    Does a 2 year old clogging the toilet & it taking EIGHT days to get it unclogged count as a disaster?! Because that’s what it felt like!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 5, 2011 at 7:11 am

      Of course that counts as a disaster, as long as you have a picture to prove it ;).

      Reply
  16. Leighann says

    July 2, 2011 at 9:11 am

    Another awesome idea Jessica!!

    Reply
  17. Jennie B says

    July 2, 2011 at 1:38 am

    Moe eats Jello with his hands. He can turn a cereal bar into a full body experience. This should be good…

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 2, 2011 at 8:59 am

      See, and for once you can win something for it :).

      Reply
  18. Tina @ Life Without Pink says

    July 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Oh I have two messy boys! Unfortunately when they do it I’m by myself and never get to take a photo of it…we’ll see what the next two weeks bring ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 10:24 pm

      So funny, for once everyone will be waiting for the disaster to happen.

      Reply
  19. Tonya says

    July 1, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    Oh, poor you!

    What a fun idea, though! I can’t wait to read about all the messy children out there. So far (KNOCK ON WOOD), Lucas hasn’t made a huge mess yet. He knocked over my purse once and I have found him in a pile of toilet paper, but that’s it. Maybe he will so I link up. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  20. Kimberly says

    July 1, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    Oh, this is such a fun idea! Not for our houses or sanity, but you know what I mean!

    With 3 boys I’m destined to run into some kind of mess! I’m in!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 10:23 pm

      Yay, this will be the only time ever everyone is hoping there kids do something.

      Reply
  21. Shell says

    July 1, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    Two words for you: Gorilla Glue.

    And two more: I win.

    Or maybe: I lose. LMAO

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 10:22 pm

      So funny, I was thinking the same. Is the winner actually the winner? For a few minutes yes but in the long run, we\’ve still got our leather waxed floor and you\’ve still got your Gorilla Glued couch.

      Reply
  22. Elena says

    July 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    What a fun linkup! I love Shaklee products & my boys are very messy – so I’m in!

    Reply
  23. Mrs. Jen B says

    July 1, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Oh my lord. At least something entertaining will come out of the pain of you and so many others who deal with crazy kids! I can’t wait to see the fun.

    Reply
  24. Alexandra says

    July 1, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Cue evil cackle of a laugh.

    OH YES!

    IT IS NOW YOUR TURN, LADIES!

    I am loving this BIG TIME

    Don’t mind me–I’ll just pull up a chair and watch the loveliness unfold.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 1:23 pm

      You know we could use a third judge if you want to join in. Three would be perfect. Just like American Idol but without the record contract at the end.

      Reply
  25. liz says

    July 1, 2011 at 11:13 am

    I’m trying to remember who had the kid who covered everything in Vase-o-line?!? Do you know who I’m talking about?

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      I do but I can\’t remember who it was, I remember seeing it and thinking that would be something my kids would do. Shoot, now it\’s going to bug me.

      Reply
  26. Kmama says

    July 1, 2011 at 11:10 am

    Oh my goodness. I am so thankful (and lucky) that my kids don’t make messes like that. I think the worst is a spilled drink or food item.

    Yes, I’m knocking on wood, praying, and crossing my fingers that I didn’t just jinx myself.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 1:21 pm

      You ARE lucky, how did you get those kinds of kids?

      Reply
  27. Jen says

    July 1, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Oh, I can’t wait!! What a great idea!

    Reply
  28. Megan (Best of Fates) says

    July 1, 2011 at 9:53 am

    Urgness – I hate contests I can’t participate in! Clearly I need to steal some children to have a chance at this title.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 10:15 am

      Shoot, you can participate. How about messy friends? Animals? If you don\’t have any options swing by next time you are in Michigan, I will have my kids ready.

      Reply
  29. Natalie says

    July 1, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Oh, kids are all sorts of awesome, aren’t they? I can’t wait for this!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 9:30 am

      Oh they are, let me know if you ever need the secret to getting tire wax off a baby. So glad you are going to be a judge, can\’t wait!

      Reply
  30. By Word of Mouth Musings says

    July 1, 2011 at 8:23 am

    Oh, do I have a picture you would not be expecting ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 9:29 am

      Yay, can\’t wait!!

      Reply
  31. Barbara says

    July 1, 2011 at 7:43 am

    I feel your pain! I have no idea how my 20 month old can open a child proof cabinet and I can’t ! Tire wax on the floor…ouch!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 7:46 am

      You would not believe how hard it was to get off, we had a slippery coating on the floor for ages, everyone was falling in our dining room. So fun.

      Reply
  32. angela says

    July 1, 2011 at 7:20 am

    I have a cabinet breaker-inner as well. I am sure he (and Abbey) will be absolute angels until July 30th, just to be difficult ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  33. Making It Work Mom says

    July 1, 2011 at 7:14 am

    Hmmm- great idea. My tween’s room can get pretty messy in that clothes all over the floor, dirty dishes and food remains scattered around type of way. You know like a twenty something’s apartment who has been on a drunken bender for a few days.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 1, 2011 at 7:45 am

      That works! And I\’m sure she won\’t think it\’s remotely strange that you are taking a picture of it ;).

      Reply

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