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By Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

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Perfection

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There are so many things that I want to tell you on this day of your 16th birthday but I will try to stick with just one…

beach

I have noticed that things are changing.

That you see people differently and want to be like “them” instead of like you sometimes.

That you have grown to understand more about yourself and what it means to have autism and you aren’t too thrilled about it all the time.

But I want you to know that you and your beautiful hair and gorgeous eyes and kind heart and infectious laugh are perfect.

That whatever “normal” is, it is completely overrated.

That our years of burning dinner and forgetting to shut the car door in the rain and driving to school on a snow day, will always be my favorite memories.

Because I was learning to be your mom and learning to laugh at myself and teaching you to giggle right along with me.

I want you to always love yourself and see the “you” that I see.

Because following someone else gets boring,

but creating your own path and walking with your head held high is the best feeling in the world.

(And besides, if we were “normal” you would never have had the opportunity to hold the flashlight for the police man after I locked the keys in the van during your birthday dinner as we laughed uncontrollably because the stench of the diaper I had just kicked under the van was gagging everyone.  Sorry about that Honey, but I needed to do something to make the evening extra-special-memorable, you’re 16 now.)

Happy Birthday Ms. Ashlyn, here’s to many more years of your perfect journey.

at the shore

I hope you will always love you just as I do.

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  1. Tonya says

    What a wonderful birthday post! Your love and admiration shines through every word. I hope Ashlyn had a very happy 16th.

  2. Carol says

    Amazing Ashlyn and her amazing, loving mom. Of course I cried joyful, appreciative tears.

  3. jess says

    what a beautiful letter. and how lucky your daughter is to have you :). thanks for sharing this.

  4. Lady Jennie says

    I popped by to follow you since I’m joining the summer blog social. This is a sweet tribute to your lovely daughter. It made me tear up and realize how fast my own will grow up. (gulp)

  7. Mrs. Jen B says

    Beautiful. I hope your daughter always sees the value of just being her. I wonder what shifts within us, what it is that makes us want to be like those we see around us. Either way, she’s lucky to have a mom who reinforces how special and loved she is.

  10. Katie says

    yup, Ashlyn, you are perfect. and you have a great mother with a beautiful heart.

    i hope your 16th birthday was truly sweet.

  12. Charlotte says

    *sniff sniff*

    This was just absolutely beautiful. A very happy birthday to your big girl. You always know how to pull at my heartstrings, you know that? 🙂 It’s wonderful and I’ll always come back for more.

  13. By Word of Mouth Musings says

    Happy birthday sweet girl.
    My special 13 yr old has some advice, never spend your time trying to fit in, when God created you to stand out.
    Much love from ALL of the Morgan family
    on your very special day. xxxx

  16. MamaTrack says

    Happy birthday, Ashlyn!

    The older I get, the more I realize that what makes us special is our differences. The world would be so boring if we were all the same.

  23. Nichole says

    Just perfect…you and Ashlyn…absolutely perfect.
    You are beyond blessed to have one another.
    Happy birthday, sweet girl!

  24. Sherri says

    Crying over here, Jessica! Oh, what a sweet birthday post. And the pictures are adorable.

    You have done such an amazing job of teaching her that she’s wonderful, inside and out. We all hope to accomplish just a little bit of that.

  25. Natalie says

    I wonder if our children ever see themselves as beautiful as we see them.

    Hope your beautiful girl has a very sweet 16..

  29. MommaKiss says

    Jessica, you are the best. truly. happy birthday to your oldest. man. 16! Whew!

    • Jessica says

      Aww, thanks. I really can\’t believe she is 16. I wasn\’t much older when I had her which is completely freaking me out!

  30. Angie says

    “Because I was learning to be your mom and learning to laugh at myself and teaching you to giggle right along with me.”- one of the best lines in any post ever! So important and so true. Love this post!

  32. KLZ says

    It sounds like you are a wonderful person to make memories with Ashlyn. Happy Birthday.

  33. angela says

    And cue tears!

    Happy happy 16th birthday to Ashlyn, and happy birth day to you. What a celebration both for her and for you, for becoming a mom when you met her.

    I love so much that you included the funny stories with the very wise advice. Laughter through tears is the best.

  40. Courtney @ The Mommy Matters says

    What a beautiful, beautiful letter. I need to go find the Kleenex now.