I see your eyes duck our way more times than I can count.
Kids spilling off my lap, I steady myself against my husband’s leg and we laugh as the hay ride tosses us back and forth.
As you tuck your bare left hand behind the bleach blonde head in your lap I read her shirt.
Birthday Girl
Your parents take pictures of the two of you but your eyes deceive the smile on your face.
I wonder if you just finished high school or are heading to college this fall. Maybe you have put school on hold until you can afford daycare and tuition.
The day is beautiful and should be special for you but I can almost read your mind as you sneak another glance at my family.
You are dreaming of a ring on your finger, more babies in your arms and a birthday party overflowing with guests.
I wish I could sit at your side and help you enjoy the Now because
you are what your daughter will remember.
She will know the comfort of your lap, dancing on the couch, heart-shaped sandwiches, the shiny pink boots you let her wear despite the 80 degree temperature and the melody of “Happy Birthday” leaving your lips.
You are all she needs.
You are enough.
And I was too.
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Beautiful message to all young mothers.
Am now just reading this..dont ask me what took so long. Hits home greatly for me since I had AD at 17 *senior in high school* and AN at 18 *Freshman in college* I too wondered several days in and out whether or not I was “enough” for my children. Beautiful post once again Jessica!!!
So glad that you liked it. Hard to be confident about our parenting choices, especially when we were so young.
That’s so amazing, Jessica. I love the message and the way you told that story. Perfectly illustrates why this matters.
This post has such a beautiful message, I wish you could somehow print it out and secretly mail it to the girl across the way.
She’ll get it, someday, just like you did, just like we all do, but wouldn’t it be nice if she could see the beautiful *today* that you did?
Ah… such is life!
Excellent job, and thank you for sharing with us all.
A perfect sentiment to convey and alleviate those doubts, I hope everyone who needs this message sees it. Lovely Jessica.
such a beautiful post! I am always in awe of the strength and love that a single young mother has. It truly is amazing and something that they (you) should be proud of!
Thanks so much!
Wonderful and true.
Such a beautiful post. You always do an amazing job capturing the important moments.
Jessica!!!
This is so beautiful!! This really made me tear up. Yes, yes yes….to all of this. With all the gadgets, toys, STUFF we can buy our children, all they want at the end of the day is US. Love this so much.
Such a great message in this post. Like Mamatrack said, it would be so awesome to give this post to that girl.
This made me teary-eyed, Jessica! You need to submit this to BlogHer for syndication. It was so well-written and touching.
Really? Thanks so much Liz!
Jessica,
Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting…because that gave me an opportunity to visit ur wonderful blog 🙂
Loved this post…it is so poetic and touching!!
Thanks for sharing…I have never been in ur shoes so I can’t say I know how it feels but I can see that you are a wonderful mother and a lovely human being from all the comments.
🙂
If I had to guess, I’d imagine most mothers fear they’re inadequate; most women look for ways in which they don’t fit what other mothers are doing…we always worry we’re not doing it right.
But you, sweet girl, had to wear your “differentness” on the outside, your youth so obvious; your wedding finger bare.
And now you know better. You had all the love that attends motherhood, regardless of your age or marital status.
I admire your wish to reach out to other young mothers and tell them they are enough.
And maybe, today, you just did…
Thanks Julie, I hope that someone read this today who needed to hear it.
Very well put. Thank you for sharing, Jessica. I hope your words encourage those that need it most right now.
I hope so too, thanks Christina.
Great, great message. Thank you for sharing it. We mothers sometimes sell ourselves too short.
We do don\’t we? Not sure why we are all so critical of ourselves.
Beautiful, as always. Of course you have always been more than enough.
Beautiful post, Jessica. You’re such a wonderful mom.
Beautiful Post! I landed here through a retweet and I expected a completely different tone to this post but was so wonderfully surprised.
As a young mum I think we just expect judgement and/or pity.
I’m not so young anymore, but was 17 when my eldest son was born (19 when my second and 21 when my third).
Thanks so much for this post, made me smile 🙂
I was the same, 17 when my oldest was born. So glad you stopped by and could relate to this post.
That was wonderfully said. I wasn’t a teen mom, but I was a young mom. I was just turned 22 when my son was born. It was hard, because no one I knew had any idea what I was going through, they were all too busy partying and planning their futures.
I think that was a beautiful message.
I know exactly what you mean, no matter how young or old we were, it is hard when everyone else is in a different stage of life than we are.
Jessica, this gave goose bumps. You are most definitely enough. Then and now and always!
Beautifully said!
Jessica -another truly beautiful post!
What a beautiful post. I find myself wishing we could hunt them down and make them read these words. I’m a younger mom- not quite that young, but younger quite the same. Sometimes being on that end of judgment of “average” age moms can have you really questioning yourself and if you are enough.
Beautiful.
Totally agree, I have caught myself selling myself short way too often because of how young I was when I had my oldest. It has been hard for me to gain the confidence I wish I had had years ago.
Jessica, that was so beautiful! I’m so glad you linked up.
Oh, I’m teary! So very sweet…and yes, you were enough.
We just don’t always know that, and especially a young mom as you were. But your stories and your triumphs are incredible, and what a mom she has…
Love this, I really do.
I had to read this twice – it was like looking in a mirror. My voice still echoes in my head, “Emily, surely at 26 you should have figured out your life by now. Doesn’t your daughter deserve more?” I wasn’t a teen mom, but I did feel alone, and when you suddenly wake up one day still living in your parents’ house with a two year old, you can’t help but think you have failed. In spite of the morning strolls around an empty mall waiting for the fountains to turn on so we could throw our roll of pennies, in spite of the million tents we built on mommy’s bed to have a sleep over, and in spite of the hours at the kitchen table baking or finger painting, I worry that I didn’t give her enough of security. Thank you for the reminder.
It is very true. Just because we didn\’t give our kids the stereotypical early start to their childhood we end up teling ourselves that it wasn\’t good enough. But ultimately, we gave them just what they needed.
A family is love and time – wherever and however that comes to a child. That’s all they know. You’re right on – and you are so much more than enough.
Jessica, I love reading your posts because I can totally tell how in-tune you are to the really important things in life. I bet you’re a great mom.
This was so touching and poignantly written. I’ve really loved reading all of the “Just Be Enough” posts but, this one is my favorite. Thanks so much for sharing this point of view. I really love it.
Thanks so much Sarah, I truly appreciate the compliment.
What a great post!! Single and young mothers need to know that they are enough for their children!!
Oh jessica – Could I love you more? So well said. xo
You are enough for your daughter just as (almost) all the other single parents are for their children. I hope this is seen by someone that needs to read these words.
I love it Jess. You never seize to amaze me. Awesome post.
Thanks so much Sarah.
This post is beautiful. This hits close to home as I was also a young single mom years ago.
Amazing how hard we are on ourselves, isn\’t it?
This is so, so beautiful. What a heartfelt and personal look at something so intense. You (the universal “you”) are enough for your daughter. She will never care whether her mommy was married or not married, young or old. All that she will care about, is that she was loved.
I totally agree and I see that in her now, as she gets older. I just wish I had known it long ago. Thanks Courtney.
I wish I read this when I was a young single mom. I always felt so lost and unsure. At times I felt embarrassed by my situation. I would look around at other “typical” families and feel my heart break a hundred times over. I always worried if I was giving my son the life and the family he deserved. It wasn’t until I was older that I saw that what I was doing was perfectly fine. Our family was perfect, no matter the size or marital status.
I could have typed the exact same thing. I always felt inadequate and embarrassed somehow. It hasn\’t been until I have gotten married and had kids that I realized my old life was perfectly fine.
What a beautiful message! You really are enough, just as you are in the now.
Absolutely beautiful. So much more to motherhood than age and a ring on your finger.
Thanks Shell, I wish I would have realized that a long time ago. Life would have been much easier.
Jessica this is beautiful!!
Perfect Message. My mom was a very young teen mom. Like very young. My earliest memories though are ones of all love, nurture, and total acceptance. She did a great job just being herself.
Oh I can only hope my daughter will say the same some day.
this is stunning and heartwarming and insightful. wow. awesome linkup piece. <3
I wish I had these words to read when I was a young, single mom. I was always afraid that my boys were missing out because I was so young. It never ocurred to me that I was more than enough for them simply by just being me.
That is EXACTLY how I felt. It isn\’t until I look back now that I realize what great times we had together and that, even though we weren\’t the picture perfect family, we were still a family and fine just the way we were.
This is so beautiful. You have given all of your children the gift of your heart and yourself, and that is a beautiful thing.
(And not that this is what this post is about, but seriously, if I didn’t know Ashlyn just turned 16, I would think this picture wasn’t taken that long ago. You still look the same!)
I do look the same. Everyone thinks that we are sisters, which I\’m sure I will appreciate some day :).
This really made my heart ache for that girl. It’s so easy to judge young moms. I know I’ve been guilty. Thank you for a new perspective.
So, so gorgeous. I love this. I wish you could find her and send it to her.
I wish I could too. I all but stalked her when the hayride was over but lost track of her pretty quickly :(.
Oh Jessica!! This is beautiful. Your grace and wisdom, your beauty and caring. You are such a fantastic role model for all of your children– you have given them the best possible gift—you. Thank you so much for linking up with this!!
Thanks so much Elena, as soon as I saw her I saw myself and knew I had to write about it. I wish I knew then what I know now.
Oh my, chills as always. Beautiful post, important message.