Before I began blogging I wish I had known how life-changing it would be.
I used to be very timid in my writing, I was careful and deliberate and thought more about the reader than about what I actually wanted to say. Grammar has always been my strong point and I would get caught up in form and punctuation and ultimately, lose the feelings I wanted to convey. And often, the feelings I needed to share were too real and raw so I would censor them, give everything a touch of “sunshine and roses” and then publish.
Early last year I found The Red Dress Club, an amazing group of writers working together to support each other. After weeks of stalking their weekly prompts I decided to commit, before I read the prompt for the week, knowing I would back out if I waited.
My response to the prompt I had committed to was obvious as soon as I read it. I would have to delve into the uncomfortable, relax (if you could call it that) and write. Pouring myself a glass of wine, I revisited a time in my life that was extremely painful and carved out every detail. By the time I was finished I was emotionally exhausted and afraid to hit the “publish” button. Sounds fun doesn’t it?
I went to bed that night and could not sleep, I was so nervous about all that I had shared. Such a personal experience I was releasing to my readers and the eyes of some very talented writers. I had no idea what anyone would think.
Ultimately I got out of bed and sat at my computer. I refreshed the screen a few dozen times before I saw comments begin to come in. Every one was supportive and complimentary and a big huge “hug” from people who were my mentors in writing.
The healing that took place after that first piece is unexplainable. Delving deep into my grief, into memories that I had pushed away, was difficult. Having them handled with care by so many was priceless.
I will always remember taking the risk and feeling my heart beat in my fingers as I clicked the mouse to publish that post. But the reward is something that continues to grow and will stay with me and my writing forever.
That piece, We Still Could, was ultimately syndicated by Blogher. My story was shared with more of the world and many more “hugs” were sent my way.
This post is linked up with prompt #1 for the #SummerBlogSocial. Want to join? Read all about it here.

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Thanks for the inspiration. I know I need to “jump in”, but I just have too many relatives reading my blog.
Sharing is so important – I made the choice to share all of the details of my big miscarriage on my blog because I wanted to put it out there… and didn’t want to feel as alone. There can be a lot of comfort in opening up to the world!
I also love the freedom and support of blogging! Great post!
So glad you have found the same support that I have!
Although my story is different than yours, I nodded along through this post. I’ve spent many nights tossing and turning afraid of how much I shared in a post on my blog and awoke to the most supportive comments and virtual hugs than one girl should receive.
This was beautiful, Jessica.
I’m glad that the blogging gods (at TRDC) paired us up. 🙂
So glad that we were paired up, your friendship is invaluable.
Sadly, I have found that the best writing comes from that raw, emotional place… That part of our history that we keep buried in order to keep up appearances that everything on the surface is just fine. But I’m glad you were able to open up enough to eventually share your experience with others and that the response was overwhelmingly supportive. I’m off now to check it out 🙂
Hope you’re having a wonderful week, girly.
I have always struggled with the emotional part of my writing. I tend to hold back and post about sunshine and roses. I really took this post to heart and am thinking of letting my readers in on my story more. Its hard to put yourself out there. Once its there, everyone can see it. Im a bit nervous, but your post has really pushed me to share. Thanks for hosting the linkup! Ive learned a lot!
Definitely share! My favorite moments in blogging have come from the times I shared my most emotional pieces.
Your words, the way you write so rawly, are so very beautiful.
Im so glad that you hit publish then and that you continue to do so.
I don’t know why, but I kind of love that jumping-off-a-cliff feeling I get when I post something really personal and risky.
It can be so hard, but its worth it in the end.
Hi Jessica. I’m new here through Summer Blog Social. You’ve written a wonderful post here. I’ve always believed in writing from your heart – that’s when words will flow freely together with the emotions that your readers will be able to identify with. I think you’ve done exactly that.
Your posts have always had a certain feeling that I can’t quite describe. Calm, heartfelt, effortless, emotional…I’m glad you took that step and hit publish!
—So Happy you finally Broke Free.
I shall go read some of your work 🙂
I’m on my way to read your post now. Truthfully, I really appreciate when people are that raw.
I’m in such awe of your honest, open, and heartfelt writing! You are trully and inspiration.
I think so too. It is cathartic, like journaling, but with an audience of amazingly supportive people.
Posts like the ones you write here on your blog are the reason why our lives change and grow beyond the expectations we had when we started blogging. I’ve found writing on my blog to be very therapeutic for me, but reading other blogs is equally helpful for me. It is a very enriching community!
Going to read that post now. I have been stalking the Red Dress Club for awhile now as well and have yet to join in a prompt. Maybe this will give me the urge I need. You write so eloquently!
Absolutely do it! It was the best thing I did for my blog and my writing.
The community and support is my absolute FAVORITE part about blogging. When I was first trying to nurse my baby he was having trouble, and I got on Twitter and begged for help…and I got so much great help. Seriously, if it wasn’t for blogging I wouldn’t have been able to nurse my child. That’s huge. Same goes for all the emotional/venting posts I’ve ever written…I push publish and get an inpouring of love. I wish every person was so lucky.
Being able to continue nursing is a huge benefit. And I thought the fact that twitter told me how to get marker out of my carpet was a big one ;).
I cam sooo relate to your experience. I two have written a couple of pieces really putting myself out there and have been pleasantly suprised by the support, I’ve been there, and it will be ok comments of others. It is a huge first step and I can often remember taking a deep breath and pushing that button. -Laverne
It\’s amazing the support that comes back to us, isn\’t it. So glad you have had the same experience I have.
This is the best part of blogging
Thank you for this.
I just read that post and I had tears in my eyes.
Its wonderful to know that you can share these experiences without judgement of any kind. Its a wonderful support system.
Support I never knew I had until I started a blog of my own.
Sometimes those posts that we are afraid to share turn out to the best ones we have. It’s okay to open up sometimes and share what’s inside.
I agree, support is one best aspects of blogging. The red dress club has always intrigued me, but being that I am so careless with my punctuation and grammar, I’m afraid of getting slapped more than hugged.
Maybe I’ll take a refresher on all the writing rules and finally muster up the courage someday!!
Definitely do it. The best thing I ever did for my writing!
I’m so glad you hit “publish”. 🙂
Me too 🙂
It’s so hard to put ourselves out there. Especially if you are writing about something so incredibly personal.
I know we are all glad you do it. Your posts touch us.
It’s amazing how much smaller blogging has made the world. I haven’t had the same experiences as you have, but my son has a rare genetic disorder. Blogging has helped me connect with other parents dealing with fatty-acid oxidation disorders. It really helps to be able to connect to other parents who have been in my shoes and it’s incredibly rewarding to be able to share the support, comfort, & tips with the next family that pops up on Twitter or in the blogosphere.
Your post, “We Still Could,” is beautiful.
Amazing isn\’t it? I wish, when my daughter was diagnosed with autism, that I could have connected with other families like mine. It would have made a world of difference. So glad that you have found the same support I have.
What a wonderful story to share for this prompt. Thank you for doing this week and for being who you are, Jessica!
What a great comment Missy, thanks so much. Glad you are joining us!
Your words always pull me in and I get lost in your post.
Beautifully written.
If I wasn’t already a writer, this would have made me want to be one.
I’m so glad you shared that story with us. I have always admired your writing. It’s so real and raw and completely emotional. It’s what drew me in to your site and what keeps me coming back.
Thanks so much, you are always giving me the nicest compliments. I truly appreciate it!
I think stepping out of your comfort zone and moving forward with REAL feelings, REAL emotions and REAL life anguish and hurt, is what separates the genuine bloggers from the ones who are just here for fun. I prefer reading raw emotion over the “my life is unicorns and rainbows” rubbish that some people post non-stop. Kudos to you for not being afraid to share it.
The feedback and support we receive – it was nothing that I ever expected either. Amazing!
The support is truly amazing, isn’t it?
#ILoveIt
I’m so like you–I focus on my grammar, editing and what other people want to read. But the one day I poured my heart out, an army of bloggers came running. I need to do a better job of just writing from the heart. It’s hard.
That’s exactly how I started out, too! I really was writing for my audience – family updates about the kiddos. Slowly, I started to take it over. Great post!
I’m so glad you took that leap and pressed publish. Your writing is so honest, and you absolutely have the ability to bring laughter through tears, to show how humanity and humor and love can all intermingle with pain and all be true and real emotions at the same time.
(you deserve the hugs, both for your spirit and your writing.)
I know reading blogs of other loss families helped me so much when I was going through it myself- so thank you for putting yourself out there!
Thank you for sharing this. My intention was to keep my blog light and fun, but it hasn’t turned out that way. Through prompts, I too have shared a little more. It feels good to get feelings out and even better to have so much support when I do.
That was an amazing piece of writing you shared back then – I’m so glad you took the chance and hit publish. I love when you mentioned feeling your heartbeat in your fingertips. So true.
Blogging really can be life-changing! I love how you explain the change in your writing from being timid and passive to more open and honest. Publishing a post often is terrifying, especially when sharing an experience that is painful and close to your heart; thankfully, we’ve learned that, as Thrice says in their song “For Miles,” “every scar is a bridge to someone’s broken heart.” Thank you so much for sharing.
I’m right there with you! Blogging has provided such a warm, fun, smart community in a way I never thought possible. I’m glad you’re a part of it!
love this, Jessica. I feel the same way. It’s still so scary for me to hit that publish button.
and I need to work on a post for the social now!
xoxo
When you dare, you dare big! Thank you for the healing you bring to others through your bravery, both IRL and by writing about it. You model such courage for your children!
One of the reasons I fell in love with your blog and your writing was how honest and open each post is! I’m thankful that you decided to take that “plunge”! I know that you have inspired other writers to be more in touch with themselves as well!
Awww, YAY for the feel good part of blogging and sharing your story!
Love ya, Jess!
That was a beautiful piece, Jessica. It was the first one of yours I ever read and I knew exactly which one you were talking about as I read this post. I’m so glad you took a chance in writing it and even more glad that it was so cathartic for you.
Blogging really is a wonderful example of support in numbers.
I’m so glad you were able to take that first step. Your writing is beautiful and helps so many others.
The support in the blogosphere is overwhelming. When friends irl just don’t quite it, the friends ‘out there’ understand because they read between the lines that others don’t see.
I am glad you found your voice here, and I am glad it helps heal your soul …
It’s scary to not only write but to publish those raw and emotional posts. I think we all fear that no one will read, no one will relate, or the comments will be negative. Often times that’s not the case.
Those hard to write posts make us more real and they make it easier to find support. I’m glad you decided to hit publish.
Taking this chance I’m sure has been a great experience for you. I agree with JDaniel4’s Mom – it’s what drew me in to you. I remember the post you mentioned and thought then and now how amazing it is. You’re a phenomenal writer and I’m glad that you hit publish and that you’ve received all this support.
Taking the chance to share your experiences draws people on. I love the emotions shared in your posts.