As I slid dinner plates infront of my children last night, my mind blinked back to high chairs and nursing babies and I remembered a blog-worthy story that has never been told…
No matter what magical schedule trick I tried, there was alway one meal a day that left me nursing my youngest while feeding two nearly two year-olds. I was proud of perfecting this unsung artform.
Tucking Sawyer in a baby sling, I would nurse him while stretching my arms to un-human lengths to spoon feed applesauce and cut up meat for open-mouthed toddlers.
One triumphant afternoon, all was running smoothly… baby nursing, 22 month olds eating the food I managed to arch into their mouths, nothing flung in my direction, no tears.
My husband entered the kitchen and began making a sandwich (I must have blocked out of my memory why he was not helping feed anyone). As he made his lunch he looked over to me and said, “wow, THAT is amazing.”
Thrilled that someone finally noticed my mastered talents that qualify me for absolutely nothing in the career world I had left behind, I looked up in satisfaction…
only to see him hold up a tomato and exclaim, “look at how thinly I sliced this baby, bet you couldn’t do that.”
And this was the moment I learned that sometimes you just have to pat yourself on the back, if you ever get a free hand.
What unusual talent are you most proud of yourself for? We will all pat you on the back for it today.
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julie gardner says
I’m dying right now…
I just wrote a post with a similar punchline.
I don’t know when it’s going up, but I’ll be sure to alert you –
You know. So you don’t feel alone, and all ~
Ha!
Jessica says
At least they can make a sandwich right?
Men.
John says
That’s almost an impressive amount of spaciness on his part . . . truly.
I’m really, really lucky in that both of my kids almost demand to feed themselves. I don’t know if I could picture trying to spoon feed a 2 year old & a 1.5 year old at this stage. As soon as they were able to comprehend “food goes in the mouth,” they’ve been big into “I do it myself, daddy.” They make huge messes, but the dogs are really great at cleanup.
Robin @ Farewell, Stranger says
Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious. But wow, I’m in awe of your talents. I could barely feed a two-year-old and *myself* at the same time. ๐
Tonya says
Husbands… can’t live with ’em, can’t shoot ’em.
It’s so true, a kind gesture or a simple thank you go so far with mothers.
We all need to remember to pat ourselves and each other on the back.
Lovely post, Jessica.
Charlotte says
Men. They just can’t help themselves, can they??
I’m giving you a virtual pat on the back for all that you do. And also, that is just one of the cutest pictures. Awwwww!
Miss Marina Star says
Oh my! So perfect. Wonderful story of how others just take our awesomeness for granted!
Kristin @ What She Said says
OMG, husbands are so clueless sometimes. I have a gem of a tale about mine coming up on Monday. Sometimes you just have to laugh at their complete and utter futility, maddening as it may be.
As for patting myself on the back, just last night, I put Lil’ Bit in timeout for hitting me. The two minutes past and she emerged, gave me a hug, and said with complete sincerity, “I sohwee, Mommy.” And I felt the most immense sense of maternal pride and satisfaction. Here was proof that I’m doing something right!
Until I realized that she could totally be gaming the system. ๐
Christine @ Quasi Agitato says
Thank you for that big laugh. Great story.
And so true what you say…others may give props every once in a while but why wait?
Klz says
I’m laughing. Husbands the world over would do the same.
Ann says
It’s amazing what husbands think sometimes, isn’t it? As for a pat on the back…I’m happy and that’s enough! I’d rather pat you on the back….being a mom is a tough job!
Rach (DonutsMama) says
Um yeah, total guy response. Thanks, honey! I don’t think people ever realize how much we moms juggle!
Laura from Pruning Princesses says
Love the story, but your poor husband. He didn’t actually do anything wrong. I think a perfectly cut thinly sliced tomato is amazing. And if you can post this without his getting mad, then he must be a great guy.
Jessica says
We can both laugh at it, just as we did that day.
Galit Breen says
Oh you, I’ll so pat your back because *you* are amazing!
(And that photo is pure gorgeous!)
xo
Shell says
Men are clueless!
Being able to get all three of my kids to their schools with everything they need, on time. That’s my talent. Hubs didn’t realize this until he had to do it on his own. And everyone was at least 2 hours late for school.
Jessica says
To my husband\’s credit he is first to admit that there are things he cannot do, like getting all of the kids out the door on time.
Lassa says
So true, a lot of the time no one else will do it so take it upon yourself – you are doing everything else yourself why not do that too
Tiffany says
Oh my goodness…that’s hilarious and infuriating at the same time! ๐
Not a Perfect Mom says
I can peel a banana with my feet
Jessica says
Really? That is an invaluable talent!
Kimberly says
I must be either really competitive, totally stubborn, or extremely immature, because I so would have gotten up at that moment and proved that I could slice a tomato that thin while nursing and feeding two toddlers. Clearly I have issues. ๐
Amanda Austin says
Jess, I die. This is perfect.
Yesterday I gave the baby a bath, put him to bed, cleaned up the kitchen, did a load of laundry, picked up the bedroom, changed the sheets and cleaned off our dining room table.
By myself.
While my husband sat in his boxers and watched tv.
And I didn’t hit him in the balls.
Jessica says
YOU have talent :).
Barbara says
This had me cracking up! Ah, men!!
NotJustAnotherJennifer says
MEN! That is hilarious. My BFF has 4 girls; the middle two are twins who are 20 months younger than the oldest. She has a crazy story of one time when she was sitting on the floor nursing one of the twins, and I think changing the oldest’s diaper (can’t remember that part) and the other twin was lying down next to all of them and started crying. My friend used her toes to pick up the pacifier and put it in the crying baby’s mouth. That was her Supermom moment. ๐
Jessica says
That is the best and yes, your feet are your best tool when you are outnumbered.
christine says
So impressive! Yes, sometimes we must just pat ourselves on the back. (But I do remind my husband that I sure appreciate his appreciation every once in awhile!) ๐
Elena says
That’s awesome! Leave it to a guy. I seriously never was that skilled at BF’ing. I was always the type who had to be seated with the boppy pillow perfectly positioned. I would totally pat you on the back had I witnessed your moves.
Tamara says
I don’t know if I have anything that compares with that. Brilliant! I also can’t cut tomatoes very thinly. Furthermore, Sawyer is a wonderful name!
Jen says
Ha! That was great. I used to want someone to pat me on the back for being about to feed bottles to 3 babies and burp them all in less then 30 minutes.
Dee says
LOL!! I was thinking all sweet things about him and then BAM…I realized he was just like my husband. Men…. ๐
Julie says
First of all, the only thing I ever mastered while nursing was napping. So I’m very impressed.
I can clean the entire house in less than an hour – that’s my amazing talent. It mystifies my husband and before I was a SAHM and assumed all the chore duties, he would get SO mad when it was his turn to clean and he’d have to take all Saturday.
Jocelyn says
Wha?? Ha – real nice, hubs! ๐ But yes, you totally deserve a pat on the back for that one. Isn’t it amazing when you realize how great the lengths you can go to are as a mom?
Jessica says
Definitely, there are things I never thought I would be doing and here I am, wiping behinds all day long ;).
liz says
OMG – I gasped when I read this! Between the Hooters tank and now this? I think he needs his butt kicked.
Jessica says
We totally laugh at these things. Sometimes he misses the point, just a tad.
Mimzy Wimzy says
That picture is just priceless. Beautiful.
As for the Husband, I totally would have flung food at him!! Possibly followed by the spoon. LOL
Megan (Best of Fates) says
It’s possible I’m missing the point, but I could totally go for some tomato right now.
Jessica says
Me too, as long as someone else slices it.
Mark says
Oh behalf of all men, I apologize.
m.
Jessica says
Hee hee, that\’s what happens when you are an outnumbered man in the blogosphere. Sorry ;).
Evonne says
That’s multi-tasking on a whole new level. You definitely deserve a pat on the back. And you could so cut a tomato just as thin.
Kate F. says
We definitely need to pat ourselves on the back more often!
Well done Jessica! I’ll give you a very impressed pat on the back! Nursing, feeding two other little ones, AND not going ballistic on your husband as he perfectly slices his own tomato… WOW. BIG pat on the back ๐
tracy says
Men.
Krista says
Haha! That is classic and is SO something that would happen in my house.
angela says
First of all, they are the cutest ever.
Second of all, why is it that even the best husbands sometimes forget to help when they come home.
Third of all, I’ll bet you could totally slice a tomato that thin. While breastfeeding. And feeding McKenna & Parker.
My unsung talent seems to be carrying more than my bodyweight in bags and babies while trying to get out of the door on time.
Jessica says
Isn\’t it crazy how much we can carry when forced to think about having to make one more trip back in the house or to the car? You totally get an imaginary trophy for that one :).
Jessica says
Thank you, that is one of my favorite shots from when they were all little.