We see him every time we leave the house, hunched beneath bags and blankets in the winter, or riding his bike against traffic, trying to catch a breeze in the summer heat.
I want to bring him a coffee or a water or a blanket or a fan, but I never do.
Braving Christmas errands this weekend with the kids, I lost count of how many times we saw the ever-present bell ringers of the holiday season, collecting money for the Salvation Army.
I echoed Merry Christmas to the freezing volunteers but with full hands, my spare change never met their buckets.
I told myself I would catch them on the way out, but I never did.
Driving home, frazzled from long lines, full parking lots and empty shelves, I found myself stuck in the slowing traffic of our two lane road to home, my patience dwindling with each tap of the brakes.
To add to my simmering annoyance, someone cut in front of me, coming to nearly a complete stop before he decided to pull off the road.
The current recipient of a massive amount of muttering under my breath, got out and walked up to the familiar homeless man (who I had not even noticed in my fury) and handed him the money in his wallet.
Looking back at my windshield through blurry eyes I was furious. At myself.
Sometimes the bitterness I feel for the hand I have been dealt, clouds my view of others who have been dealt a hand with a card or two less.
I was reminded today that I need to slow down, help when I know I should and give when I know I can.
If you need me I will be rehearsing the art of removing money from my purse with my foot, so I can drop some in that little red bucket next time I pass a bell-ringer and my hands are full
… after I find my favorite homeless man and invite him over for Christmas dinner.
What do you do during the holidays to stay focused on the real reason for the season?
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Meredith says
Oh gosh. Beautiful, Jessica. Thanks for sharing again.
Courtney says
This is so beautiful
Courtney says
This is truly beautiful…
Leighann says
This is a beautiful reminder. Thank you
Emmy says
Thank you for this. Yes, it is easy to forget that there are so many that do have so much less.
Lady Jennie says
I love this post and the reminder that goes with it. So glad to be back in the blogosphere. 🙂
Charlotte says
I also needed to read this today. So often it’s easy to get caught up in our own worlds that we fail to see that others around us are forced to get by with much less. The holidays are a great time to really stop and reflect and do all we can to repay–in whatever way we can–to someone less fortunate.
Thanks so much for sharing this post. And that picture is just too precious. XOXO
Stacey says
What a beutiful reminder of what is really important. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of the things that need to be done. Thank you for this!
MommaKiss says
Love this.
Your kids are learning from this, too. I hope mine are. We always put money in the red buckets. And buy the bags of food at the store. And I make the kids buy toys and games {and socks and underwear} for the family we adopt. Because I need them to know they are blessed. They are incredibly lucky to have anything they want, to eat more than 3 meals a day, to have t.v.s and beds and shoes that aren’t ripped.
I’m like you, whenever I think ‘woe is me’ I have to remind myself there is always someone else who’s got it worse.
Kimberly says
It is so easy to get caught up in all the hoopla around Christmas that we forget that we need to help each other out. And this shouldn’t be done just at Christmas…it should be all year round.
When I worked at the Children’s hospital, we would adopt numerous families that came through our ER. All needy families.
We all pitched in and bought them new clothes, coats, toys, food.
It was just amazing to be a part of and see a Mom smile because for the first time in years, she had a warm winter coat and mittens.
Kristen says
Oh, I need a slap in the face sometimes too. We get so involved in the day to day that we forget the minutes to minutes. This is my first year not working since my girls have been born. They are almost 10 & 8. I am signing us up for every holiday event and we are helping at our church for those who do not have the comforts that we do. I want my girls to experience the giving and enjoyment of the season.
liz says
Your frustration is completely understandable. And as I’ve said to you before, I think you are incredibly positive and optimistic despite the “hand you have been dealt”.
Have a very merry Christmas, Jessica!
Tiffany says
What a great reminder this time of year.
Galit Breen says
This is so very beautiful, and so very humbling,
{Thank you}
Jessica says
This is a beautiful post and reminder for us all. Throughout the year, I do my best to stay mindful of my blessings and of ways that I can help others by volunteering. I think volunteering, lending of myself to the assistance of others, is what keeps me humble.
Jackie says
My oldest was one of those people standing outside of Walmart ringing the bell this year and my husband was at a local grocery store doing the same thing.
The company that I work for adopts a few families every year and together we buy items that the family need along with some food items for a Christmas dinner.
Runnermom-jen says
Aw, Jessica, thank you for this. You are so right. As “wrong” as everything feels sometimes, there’s always others that have it worse.
P.S. That new header is AWESOME!!!
Jessica says
So true.
Do you like the header? I just changed it. Feels more personal but I was debating on whether I liked it or not. Good to hear that you do!
Nancy Percha says
I had my grandkids make many of their gifts for alot of people this year. It was a bit of a challenging project for them that took 2 days and allot of their focus and patience. I think it is so easy to let them think Christmas is all about them getting presents(and I do love that joy of giving them things to), but I wanted them to really think about their present for Dad, their aunt, Nana, and their teachers.I feel they need to start young learning to give of themselves.I thinkkids are really losing that now. Since their mom died we have placed so much focus on giving to them, that I am worried they are not learning to give back to to others. I am hoping the recipients will appreciate their hard work, and they will feel good about the effort they put into doing something for others. Teaching this early is important.
Jessica says
I’m working with my kids on making quite a bit this year too, I feel like they are already getting too wrapped up in getting presents rather than giving and I want them to learn early. So good to hear from you Nancy, hope you are doing okay.
Jocelyn @ ScooterMarie says
What a great post. I, too, always feel guilty when I don’t help someone who I think I should or don’t take the extra seconds to drop some change in those buckets. I finally did give a homeless man I often see in warmer weather on my route into work some money earlier this year, and it made me feel good. Selfish, I know, thinking how it made me feel when he was the one in need, but I was glad I was able to help, even if just that one time.
http://www.scootermarie.com/2011/08/12/good-deed/
Debra says
What a powerful post, in all our rushing around – we sometimes forget those that are less fortunate – and need that reminder to “do onto others” especially during this holiday season. thanks for re-posting!
Barbara says
I love this. This time of year especially it is easy for us to lose sight of those that have less than we do.
julie gardner says
Yep.
This one was worth repeating, indeed.
XO
Debi says
The kids are little yet and don’t quite understand, but our church runs a food pantry. We donate all year long of course, but beginning last month when the food drives delivered we went over to help sort (the kids love it). Sometimes I get toys just to give to Toys for Tots. As for the Salvation Army people, give change to the kids to put in (no need for you to do all the work, let them out one at a time). You also might think about the 4 chambered piggy banks…one of the sections is for charity, so you can “practice” during the year too.
JDaniel4's Mom says
We have been doing an advent book and working on giving to others.
Sandra Kohlmann says
We try really hard to focus on others at Christmas. It makes everything more joyful. I never pass a bell ringer without putting something in the kettle. I keep cash in my purse just for that. I’m not bragging, I just think it’s an easy thing to do. I have done plenty of bell ringing. My husband and I used to do 25-40 hours every season, before I had my babies. It is so sad to see people carrying hundreds of dollars of random stuff out of a store and giving a dirty look or walking past like you’re not there. I’m not condemning you. I try to assume that those people have already given a sizable donation or that maybe they are recipients of the work of the Salvation Army themselves, but it is still heart breaking .This year we went a step further. Instead of giving gifts to our families, we adopted a family through the Salvation Army and we bought what that family needs to have a good Christmas and put some food on their table. We have enough, so before we get more than what we need, we’re trying to share with those who don’t have their needs met.
How’s that for a novel. Thanks for this post. I think you’ll change many perspectives and maybe those Salvation Army kettles will be a little fuller during this last, crucial week of their biggest fundraiser of the year.
Jessica says
I think that what you do is amazing. I used to do more, somehow over the last few years I have done less. My young kids are getting to the age where they understand the concept of giving to others and I want them to grow up understanding how important it is, just as you do.
Ann says
Thank you for reminding us that this season is about more than what is under the tree…..Merry Christmas!
tracy says
I keep a few ones in my pockets at all times during the holidays so I can give them to the kids to put in the buckets. They love doing that..and I know it’s hard to stop and dig for the cash with all we juggle – so pockets work great. Or bras. Bras are awesome to hold a few ones…but not quarters.
Jessica says
Oh I am totally stuffing my bra with coins next time I shop, how did I never think of this before?
angela says
This made me feel guilty. I WANT to do more than ever, because I think it’s so important for my kids to learn. Yet, I’m always rushing by and not stopping and thinking.
I think I need to practice the dollar bill with the toe manuever.
Jessica says
There really should be a class for it, some sort of yoga like move we learn after we have kids. And no feeling guilty, just have to do what we can.
Rach (DonutsMama) says
I needed to read this today. I’ve been so focused on myself this week and just really mourning things from the past. And I’m so silly because I know I have it pretty good and that things could be so much worse. I feel like it’s my responsibility to be a good steward or the things I’ve been given and so to give back.
Jessica says
It is really tough not to drown in what is going wrong in our own lives and remember that other people have it much harder. I think so many of us are guilty of doing it. I really hope I raise my kids to understand how important it is to give back.