… you will cheer for the little things. The faintest trace of a smile, the wobbly grip of a spoon and the first zip of a zipper will make your day. Your week. You will cry tears of joy and hug dedicated therapists while covering your tiny warrior with kisses.
… you will learn. At some point along the way you will discover the doctors and teachers and therapists know a lot, but nothing compares to what you’ve gained. The months you have spent searching for answers and accepting nothing but the best have qualified you for the highest of degrees in parenting. Everyone else will come and go but you are the constant and your honorary doctorate was completed many sleepless nights ago.
… you will learn more from your child than you could have ever imagined. Watching pursed lips as they repeat the same set of stairs or fixed eyes as they try to look at you while talking is an unending lesson in perseverance, determination and will. Reminding us we have more to learn from them than they do from us and that is exactly what they are here for.
… you will find your voice. You will begin the journey scared and overwhelmed and one day you will realize you are not that person anymore. You have argued your case with the most qualified of specialists when your gut told you to and you have petitioned your school district for the perfect placement. And you never blinked an eye.
… you will pat yourself on the back. You will look at your child, holding his head up or reaching for her diploma or saying “thank you” for the first time, and know that you did it.
You both did it.
And it was worth every single second.
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Oh yes I understand. I wanted to brag about my son finally picking up a pea with a pincher grisp and then I stopped myself. I forget that it’s a 9 month old skill and that my son is 3. But man was I one proud mama! I decided to be that mom and brag.
Thank you for this! It was exactly what I needed today. Feeling a little downtrodden and dreading yet more specialist appointments on Monday. Made me stop and think back to how much progress we have made this past couple of years for my daughter.
yes…yes… and yes.
Well said, Jessica. And emotional. And heartfelt. And inspiring. Thanks for writing this.
I believe you to be one of the best parents I have never (yet!) met. I hope that one day I can come to you for advice on parenting… I feel I have so much to learn from you and I want to see/experience the world through your wise eyes.
Thank you always for being mindful of the little things in life. Not everyone takes notice, but it’s beautiful to witness when someone does. XOXO
Oh wow Charlotte I think this is the greatest compliment I have every received. I can’t thank you enough.
I only speak the truth my dear 🙂 XOXO
So beautiful! Ashlyn is very lucky to have you as her mom, cheering her on. 🙂
This is the sweetest thing ever. I’m glad you shared it.
This is so beautiful. All five of your children are lucky to have you. The way you acknowledge the challenges yet cherish the successes is truly uplifting.
Your words and insight are magical!
Those moments when you feel like you deserve a pat on the back are the best.
xoxo
I think all parents know and feel these things to a certain extent. You definitely have a true grasp of it though. Really beautifully written and shared.
Thanks so much Colleen.
So beautiful.
Thank you for giving us all a window into your life with a child with special needs.
How uplifting and wonderful! Gave me chills, honestly. You are a great mother, Jessica.
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. And you’re right, it’s the little things that are the biggest.
Wow! What an absolutely beautiful way to celebrate your daughter , this was so heartfelt, so honest, so telling in such big and little ways. You are a good mom, the best mom for your children…and I am so proud of you for being the kind of amazing woman you are. Xo
So very beautiful.
I just read this and realized that I need to celebrate more in the little things. Thank you.
So good to hear Diane, truly you do have to hand onto those little things, there are days that they’re all you have.
Nothing truer than learning from your children . . .
Love this! I treasure every moment spent with my little girl. I believe God place her in my life to show me what is important…….and what isn’t. She is the greatest blessing and so is every other special needs child on this planet.
What we say to each other is so very important.
We can marvel or we can fall apart in frustration.
Sometimes both happen at once, and then it’s up to the thinking part of us to pull ourselves up and say this is what we have here, let’s make it work.
I love this.
So very true, I think I tend to fall apart a little then put myself back together and get to work.
Incredible, Jessica! You are both so blessed to have each other!
Thanks so much Melissa.
Yes! You know your child best, you know what she needs. Last night my husband was saying that any doctor who goes up against a mama is a fool!
Thank you for reminding me to treasure every moment. Beautiful post. xoxo
All so true Jessica! You’ve encapsualted how it feels perfectly.
Special kids teach us the beauty in the little bits in life…they truly are a gift.
Thanks for taking me back this morning! 🙂
love
Diana x
Perfectly said.
this was very sweet to read<3 i don't have any family members with autism , but my mother has been a teacher of autistic children for 25 years. when i was younger ,during summer school, i got to help out in some of the classrooms. it was very rewarding and i met lots of awesome kids<3 you are an amazing mother to be so involved in your daughters life like you are . in the 25 years of my mother teaching i dont think she could count on one hand the number of parents who were involved at all . they pretty much left it up to their child's teacher to do all the work . anyways my point was you are awesome !
Beautiful, and thoughtful, as always Jessica.
{Absolutely love this.}
You have a great insight here with special needs of our children, I enjoy reading it will. thanks.
quite simply…
yes
So wonderfully written, as always. With such meaningful insight.
So lovely. It feels to me that it applies to all all parenting on some level. At least I need reminding that the biggest victories as a parent often come in the seemingly smallest moments.
Ah, Jess, just so beautifully said as always. And you KNOW I know where you’re coming from on this. You are an amazing mom of an amazing daughter (plus all the others, of course). And even though Jake is doing great right now? This winter I’m deep in the PTSD of being an autism parent.
Oh I completely understand where you are. If there is anything I can do to help you through it I’m right here Varda.
very well said. I love this. It should be given to parents when they get a diagnosis!
So true. I’m not very far into it, but I already know this well.
Loved this Jessica. Such a beautfully written way to share your experience and insight.