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You are here: Home / Musings of Motherhood / In the Trenches

In the Trenches

By Jessica

We are under seige.

There is no sleep allowed.

No showers either.

If you shut your eyes they open them. Turn on the water they flop to the ground in despair.

You can brush your teeth as long as it can be done without hands and pee only if you can balance a toddler on your lap.

Your shirt will be used for a kleenex, your lap, a puke bucket and your clothes only changed once their Tylenol kicks in.

Diapers that could kill a small animal must be changed and breath that makes your toes curl is aimed your way.

You must sit when they tell you to, stand when they pull you up and offer toast and soup on demand.

No one can leave the house, their germs can be seen from a mile away. They goob on the window if you walk to the mailbox alone.

No one will enter either, Hazmat suits are not available at your local store.

We tried to wave our white flag but had to shut the door for fear of an asthma attack.

Tried to spell SOS with Saltines but our captors ate them rabidly.

So we will sit, in the trenches, our runny-nosed dictators circling the camp, ears ringing from Fresh Beat Band marathons, hands raw from hand sanitizer and wait for our release…

boys in army pajamas

When we will tiptoe through preschool pick up, avoid indoor play gyms like the plague,

and hope for a day when small children remember to cover their mouths, wash their hands and not. touch. anything.

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42 Comments Filed Under: Musings of Motherhood


Comments

  1. Charlotte says

    February 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Oh, I don’t envy you any. Best of luck this week and hope everyone is back on their feet in no time!

    Reply
  2. Sarah says

    January 31, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Oh man. So sorry. Hope you all are feeling better.

    Reply
  3. John says

    January 31, 2012 at 10:50 am

    There is nothing worse than when the whole family is sick . . . I hope y’all are feeling better soon.

    Thanksgiving, we shared a stomach bug as a family. It was the first time I truly felt that I was “over my head” with this parenting thing.

    Reply
  4. Lady Jennie says

    January 31, 2012 at 6:01 am

    The expressions on those adorable childrens’ faces is just so precious!

    And may you have peace and health and germ-free air blowing through your house.

    Reply
  5. dumb mom says

    January 30, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Ahhhh germs! Good luck and hope you all are germ free soon. You know, so you can build strength until it hits you again!

    Reply
  6. Jen says

    January 30, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Since I have 2 sick kids, I too dream of this day.

    Reply
  7. Kimberly says

    January 30, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    I’m not going to say a single word because I don’t want to jinx myself.
    Nope.
    Not.
    A.
    Word.

    Reply
  8. JDaniel4s Mom says

    January 30, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    JDaniel would have eaten my SOS sign too. I love the picture of your guys!

    Reply
  9. julie gardner says

    January 30, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Their facial expressions are priceless.

    Not to mention they mean BUSINESS in those boots.

    Business, I tell you.

    (So cute. Good luck. Watch the hand-sanitizer around your cuticles…)

    Reply
  10. Tonya says

    January 30, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    It does feel exactly like you have described. Good luck and I hope everyone is feeling better soon.

    Love the camouflage!

    Reply
  11. Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation says

    January 30, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    You are too funny! Sickies! Yuck!!

    Reply
  12. Miss Marina Star says

    January 30, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Such a vivid and funny description of the captive life with sick kiddos.

    This has been a particularly bad month for us as well. What is up with these kids?

    Reply
  13. The Anecdotal Baby says

    January 30, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    Ack! There’s been something going around. I nearly banished the hubs to another state for fear he’d pass it along to us, but miraculously he only felt bad for a night (thanks to some emergen-c) and we escaped unscathed. I can’t wait for preschool *sarcasm*… someone should come up with a spray to dowse yourself in to guard against germs. Hang in there, and as someone else said, you’ll totally rock this!

    Reply
  14. Mad Woman behind the Blog says

    January 30, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    You know the spreading of snot on a parent is a sign of affection, right?
    Spreading it on a sibling is something else altogether.
    I won’t say what would be worse so as to not jinx you. But just one hint: sick husband. So instead I’ll wish you good luck and a speedy recovery.
    Also: Damn those boys are cute.

    Reply
  15. Practical Parenting says

    January 30, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Yes, that about describes my week ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  16. Anna says

    January 30, 2012 at 9:58 am

    They are so funny! My 2 boys dressed them selves as Superman and Batman. It was hilarious a bit but very amusing:)

    Reply
  17. Kristin @ What She Said says

    January 30, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Everyone’s under siege! We’ve already had Round 1 of the dreaded stomach bug and narrowly missed Round 2 last week when a kid barfed up his breakfast right in front of Lil’ Bit at daycare. It was all I could do not to snatch her and run back home to my vomit-free bubble. And I refuse to visit any indoor play gyms until this epidemic has passed – or at least until I stop seeing it talked about constantly on FB, Twitter, and in blog posts.

    Sickest.Winter.EVER!

    Reply
  18. angela says

    January 30, 2012 at 9:10 am

    I feel like Dylan has been sick off and on all winter. Abbey has gotten hit hard a few times. I opened windows this weekend just to try to banish some of the germs ๐Ÿ™ Feel better!

    Reply
  19. Leighann says

    January 30, 2012 at 8:54 am

    ACK!
    The Sickies!
    A parents worse fear. And once they have it they seem to hang on to it forever.
    Hope everyone is feeling better soon.

    Reply
  20. Barbara says

    January 30, 2012 at 8:12 am

    I am right there with you right now. Toddler with bronchitis, 6 week old with a cold….although that picture is too cute for words.

    Reply
  21. Galit Breen says

    January 30, 2012 at 7:43 am

    Hee! Too funny, Jess!

    And oh my, yes- don’t touch ANYTHING should be, like, a law!

    {I hope everyone feels better soon!}

    Reply
  22. Jessica says

    January 30, 2012 at 7:11 am

    I swear it’s the age, every time I pick my 2 year old up he wipes his nose on my shoulder. Ugh.

    Reply
  23. tracy@sellabitmum says

    January 30, 2012 at 7:04 am

    OY. Feel better. xo

    Reply
  24. Kate F. says

    January 30, 2012 at 6:59 am

    It makes it SO much worse when your husband works in a school atmosphere too doesn’t it? My husband is mostly immune to it by now… but he still manages to bring all the eweey gooey germs home with him!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      January 30, 2012 at 7:10 am

      Exactly, Mark doesn’t get much of it anymore but I think he just carries it home to us.

      Reply
  25. Shasta Kearns Moore says

    January 30, 2012 at 2:26 am

    Ha! I love it! Totally been there. I love how you capture the feeling of being trapped.

    Reply
  26. Courtney Kirkland says

    January 30, 2012 at 12:05 am

    Good luck! I hate to say it, but I’m glad it’s you and not me. LOL You’re going to rock it!

    Reply
  27. Kimberly says

    January 29, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    Oh no! Hope everyone feels better soon!!

    Reply
  28. Rach (DonutsMama) says

    January 29, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    Feel better soon!!! Netflix, my friend. Netflix. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      January 30, 2012 at 7:11 am

      We’ve watched every episode of every cartoon we have. This means it’s almost over right?

      Reply
  29. Runnermom-jen says

    January 29, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    Hope you win that war SOON!! Poor kids…and poor mom and dad too.
    xo

    Reply
  30. Life As Wife says

    January 29, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Oh no! I hope your captors arrange for a hostage negotiation soon!

    Reply
  31. Jenn says

    January 29, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Aww! Hope everyone feels better soon!

    Reply
  32. Not a Perfect Mom says

    January 29, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    aw man…we went through that a couple of weeks ago…
    blech…

    Reply
  33. Nana says

    January 29, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    I was commiserating with you until I saw the picture, and then I burst out laughing. Oh, the life of a mother…

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      January 30, 2012 at 7:12 am

      Aren’t they nuts? That picture was hilarious.

      Reply
  34. Lizbeth says

    January 29, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    Those same fowl little germs are at my house too. And my minions are faring just as poorly. I’m living on coffee and the kids are on the 1,000th episode of How its Made. I just want to bleach the house down…

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      January 30, 2012 at 7:12 am

      Same here, if it wasn’t 20 degrees I would be opening the windows and bleaching everything.

      Reply
  35. christine says

    January 29, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    Oh no! Hope everyone is feeling better very very soon!! Winter is the worst for sick kids.

    Reply
  36. ML@My 3 Little Birds says

    January 29, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Oh man. That’s the worst…and yet you’ve described it beautifully. This too shall pass (and then onto the next emergency).

    Reply
  37. Lanie says

    January 29, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    We are under seige over here too! I hope that we all make it out of the trenches and back into preschool soon! I am hoping for tomorrow but may have just jinxed myself. Take care.

    Reply
  38. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says

    January 29, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Good luck! That’s the war of wars you’ve got going!

    Reply

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