Watching week after week of my favorite mind-numbing show has made me wonder what it might be like if the bachelorettes were nothing but blogging women. Especially since many of us happily claim the famous motto of most bloggers:
1. You don’t have to share the remote. Just share your thigh with her laptop and she won’t even look up to see what you are watching. Don’t complain when the heat it generates burns through your flannel pj’s.
2. Your clothes will be dry-cleaned. All of them. She will have no time for laundry or really anything other than writing, editing, posting, responding to comments, blog-reading, tweeting, facebooking, stumbling and pinteresting.
3. Her friends will not be stopping by for a cup of sugar. Send her to a blog conference or ten and she will get a much needed dose of her closest friends who live 3,000 miles away.
4. She will gaze into your eyes dreamily. Unfortunately this will have nothing to do with you and everything to do with her latest idea for a post. The whole masterpiece will be written in her mind before your eyelid begins to twitch.
5. Breakfast? Dinner? Laundry soap made from tree bark and raw shellfish? She can do it. Give her 30 seconds to access her Pinterest boards and she will build an addition onto your new home with pipe cleaners and modge podge.
6. Help yourself to free Christmas cards, vitamin infused spray cheese and glow in the dark toothbrushes, as long as she can vlog your meals while blogging about how white your teeth were in the annual holiday photo.
7. She won’t travel far. Or anywhere at all. As long as she has an iPhone, iPad, MacBook and wireless with a side of Photoshop and Google Analytics (real time, of course).
8. The answer to any question you could ever ask can be answered by your one-and-only-until-the-tabloids-wreck-it as fast as you can say 140 characters.
10. When she accepts the final rose, and every other rose, for that matter, don’t worry if she walks away facing you. There isn’t an evening gown out that that flatters a bad case of Blogger’s Butt.
What would you add to the list? What can someone expect if they marry a blogger?
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