Pressing my feet into the bathmat, I hear them before the water quiets.
Giggles slide under the door and mingle with the steamed air. Their is talk of shaking their booties as the music rises. Michael Jackson on a Sunday morning.
A smile finally moves across my face and I decide it will be this.
This moment will carry me today.
I will not think about the week or neglected laundry or waiting doctor calls or yesterday or tomorrow.
Right now is quiet mixed with giggles.
Steam mixed with clear thoughts
and solitude mixed with a booming house.
I can do this.
Twenty minutes ago may have been tears and spilled juice and lost energy
and twenty minutes from now may be tired feet and drawn out tantrums and Tylenol or Motrin.
But right now? This moment is good.
And I will let it carry me through the next.
—————
For those of you wondering, McKenna is doing okay. We spent the week visiting doctors, trying to get tests scheduled and figuring out how to make all of this work, and I finally feel like we have a plan of care. We found a great neurologist who will work hand in hand with a geneticist to help us find more answers and will monitor her general health more closely. She is also starting to regain some energy… it was great to see her trying to keep up with her brothers this weekend, even if it was just to take away whatever they were playing with :). Thanks so much for ALL of your thoughts, words can’t explain how amazing it feels to be supported by all of you.
What sweet/good/happy moment will you use to carry you through the stress today?
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Bath time has always been one of my favorite times.
Happy to hear McKenna is doing well. xoxo
I am so glad that you have a plan – I like plans (& feeling like there are things to do). I hope that oi have more days like this past weekend. Beautiful post. Sending you good thoughts and hugs. Take care.
Beautiful. Truly beautiful.
One day at a time, one foot in front of the other – and hold tightly to moments like that one.
You can do this. 🙂
Please forgive me for not coming around in awhile, but don’t ever think your family isn’t in my thoughts and prayers. So very happy to hear McKenna is doing much better. Glad to hear she’s in such good care.
And this was beautiful, as always. XOXO
You never have to apologize, I know it takes me a while to visit you too but you are always in my thoughts as well. xo
Thoughts are with you guys right now… I hope she continues to show her strength.
My moment is the one before no one else is awake and the house is quiet. Sometimes I forget that that ever happens – but it always does. Just need to remind myself!
Oh, sweetie…this is beautiful. And yes, I have been wondering how she’s doing…
Been thinking about you. I’m glad I popped over for this post. (I never seem to have enough time, you know?) … anyway – beautiful post. And… I’m around. If you ever want to toss around questions for a neurologist or a geneticist – I can be a sounding board. Just e-mail me. alittlesomethingforme(at)yahoo(dot)com
xo Kristen
Yes, those little moments can be a life line.
I am so glad that you’re getting the answers you need and have a plan! Keep your chin up… everything will be fine!
This is such a sweet post and such a great reminder for us all, as parents. I’m glad to hear that McKenna is doing well.
Beautiful writing Jessica, and I’m glad to get the update on McKenna. She sounds like she’s under excellent care.
I’m happy to hear that things are starting to look up. Sending you prayers during this tough time. 🙂 I hold onto the little things when I get stressed…the extra hugs and kisses I get before bedtime, those moments that my son just wants to sit in my lap and snuggle. Those are worth the hard times for sure.
I am glad she is doing better! I know everything will work out.
Sometimes it’s those little moments that carry us through the much bigger ones.
I’m glad that there is a plan in place and Mckenna is doing better.
Will continue to send prayers and strength your way.
xoxo
just that picture made my blood pressure come down. I’ve been thinking of YOU so much the past few weeks. Reading you and just praying for you..that you know how much love and support you have here in this space.
as a parent, I am trying to do this more..remind myself that it might be bad but things turn around so quickly and it could be easier, happier, calmer in moments..to just reach for that….
sending love.
Yes – you can do this. But, when it’s too much . . . just write about it here, as there is no shortage of people to support you.
This is such an uplifting post Jessica.
Not only is it a great help to me but to everyone who has had those moments of exhaustion and utter helplessness.
Just take a minute and live in THIS moment.
what a moment!!!!! If I can pass this type of moment with my girlfriend!
vary good post….
Devin
I love your carry moment, you describe it beautifully, as only you can.
And thank you for the update on your sweet girl. My heart is thinking of her’s, and yours.
xo
Amazing how these little moments can do so much? You and McKenna are in my thoughts.
My moment, amidst a horrible, horrible Monday, was glancing over to see my girls sitting at their table “playing” Uno. Because really? They have no idea how to play Uno. They were just holding cards and talking about nonsense. 🙂
Lovely. What a beautiful moment. And hugs to M and you all.
I’m just now cluing in that something is going on with your sweet girl (via twitter). I hope she contines to feel better. And that you go too. xo
Lovely, lovely post. Good for you for holding onto the good spots where you can find them. Glad some progress has been made. Hugs!
Live in that moment for sure momma.
And I need to catch up re: McKenna. Sorry babe
love you…
in a totally uncreepy nonstalker way
What a wonderful post! I love your closing line!
Jessica, so many of your posts help sustain me. I love these little reminders to be here now, with the little ones, capturing small, sweet, moments that will help get me through the next troubling ones. Thank you.
I’m also glad to hear that you have a plan, and people to turn to, and a little more peace than you previously had.
What a beautiful post. I need to remember to take a snapshot of that one perfect moment (the siller, the better) and hold onto it throughout the day. I am sure that makes such a difference in a mother’s perspective.
These relaxed moments can help us to handle the next hard hour. These moments are the fountain of mental energy, I think. But you’ve described much more beautiful. Thanks for it.
I’m so, so glad to hear that you have found docs you like and have a plan in place. Little by little, you guys will work through this.
Oh thank heavens – that is wonderful to hear good news for McKenna!
I think bath time is always a sweet moment with my boys. Sounds like yours is too.
I’m glad you’re finally feeling like there is a plan in place for your daughter.
Such a lovely moment. Sometimes we need those moments to make the bad ones disappear for a while. Thanks for the update on McKenna. You all are in my thoughts. 🙂
You are a lovely writer. This was just beautiful. I am glad she is feeling better and I hope that your doctors will be able to help. I am in awe of your strength. You may not feel strong, but I can tell that you are and that you are just what your daughter needs. Hugs!
What a lovely moment, and I’m so glad to hear McKenna is doing okay.
I’m glad you are getting some answers and looking at what can help. xo
What a lovely moment to stumple upon and hold onto. I’m holding on to seeing my girls snuggled up in my oldest daughter’s twin bed, reading side by side before bedtime.
How sweet, I would be holding onto that one too.