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Write It Down

By Jessica

I was young.

I thought it would never happen.

I assumed I would remember it all.

No need to write it down, I only had one child at the time.

Every word she spoke would stay etched in my memory.

And then I got older and had more children.

I lost keys right after I set them down, rewashed laundry, forgot how to spell my own name.

While driving my son home from preschool last week, dust was blown from the most precious of memories, from the years B.I.B. (before I blogged). The instant this memory reappeared I felt as grateful for remembering as I did guilty for forgetting…

Ashlyn began first grade during the time when Victoria’s Secret lotion was all the rave. Every morning I dipped my body in a bottle of Plumeria as I was getting ready but one hurried morning I forgot. She came home from school a little “off” that day. Through the evening she was more teary than usual but, because of her autism, was unable to fully share what was wrong. That night as I lay in bed with her, hoping she would fall asleep before the sun came up again, she turned her little head from mine and said,

“I put my hands on my nose at school today Mommy, but you weren’t there.”

My heart warmed at the thought that my scent could get her through a day then tumbled into a million tiny pieces because I was not there when she needed me. I coated my hands with lotion every. single. morning. for the rest of her elementary years.

 6 year old and mom

And this is why you should blog, or journal or scribble on sticky notes and shove them into baby books.

Because even the most perfect of memories can get buried by dust on the shelves of a Mommy Brain.

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51 Comments Filed Under: Musings of Motherhood


Comments

  1. Bethany says

    February 6, 2014 at 10:18 pm

    This made me cry! I’m feeling so nostalgic for my kids’ baby years, and this one got me. Gorgeous. XO

    Reply
  2. Chrissy says

    February 6, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    Oh my goodness. Wow. I’m all choked up over here. So sweet and tender. Oh sigh. It goes so fast. My oldest will be in high school next year. Officially slumping my shoulders. Boo. XO

    Reply
  3. Kate says

    April 10, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Thanks for sharing this… Reminds me of lipstick kisses left on tiny hands as mommy went off to work (a story shared with me by a friend). I am so glad I write, blog, & try to scrapbook even the smallest of moments! XO

    Reply
  4. http://mensengagementrings.ca says

    March 20, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    We would like to thank you yet again for the lovely ideas you offered Jeremy when preparing a post-graduate research plus, most importantly, regarding providing all of the ideas in one blog post. Provided we had been aware of your web page a year ago, we’d have been kept from the useless measures we were participating in. Thanks to you.

    Reply
  5. ReluctantMomma says

    February 29, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    This was beautiful and heart warming – not really in keeping with the “motherhood is annoying” post that I was about to write but…def. a lovely sentiment about why we blog.

    Reply
  6. Lady Jennie says

    February 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Those words pierce the heart. At the same time it’s comforting to know there were things you could do to reassure her.

    Reply
  7. Natalie @MamaTrack says

    February 21, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Wow. I love it. Scent is such a powerful tie to memory. To this day, I smell Phisoderm and get sad. (I used it to wash my face when my family moved while I was a tween.)

    So glad you caught this one again.

    Reply
  8. JDaniel4's Mom says

    February 21, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    It is funny the little things they notice. JDaniel can’t stand my hair pulled back. He says his mom wears her hair down.

    Reply
  9. Heather says

    February 21, 2012 at 11:47 am

    This is so incredibly heartwarming. My twins are two months old, and I struggle to find more time blogging about the little things that will get lost over time. Your post inspires me to find that time.

    Reply
  10. Barbara says

    February 21, 2012 at 11:25 am

    I voted!

    I had such a hard time keeping track of all of those little things that I had post its all over the house. Thank goodness for blogging!

    I love the story about the lotion. That is just so sweet!

    Reply
  11. Brad Hubb says

    February 21, 2012 at 11:12 am

    This is such a wonderfully written article. And the pictures comes much more brilliantly with it.

    Thanks for sharing.

    -Brad

    Reply
  12. Tiffany says

    February 21, 2012 at 9:07 am

    You are so right. I can’t even remember why I came into the kitchen…so I am thankful for this reminder!

    Reply
  13. Rebecca Aziz says

    February 21, 2012 at 5:42 am

    Jessica, that is just beautiful. LOVE that you are sharing the joy and importance of writing down our memories. Im thankful to have my memories of Yasminah’s pregnancy as after we lost her that was all I had to hold onto x x

    Reply
  14. julie gardner says

    February 21, 2012 at 12:34 am

    Oh, Jessica.

    My baby girl used to miss me at night. So I’d spray one shot of my perfume in the air then wave a t-shirt through it for her to take to bed with her while she slept.

    I felt so loved.
    I still do.

    I love this memory you shared so much.
    Thanks for stirring one of mine.

    And I will be voting for you RIGHT NOW!!!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      February 21, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Oh I love that you have such a similar memory and that this post brought it back. Isn’t it amazing the tender moments we will always have? Thanks for the vote :). xo

      Reply
  15. Laura says

    February 20, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    I love this!!! So sweet and so true!

    Reply
  16. Leigh Ann says

    February 20, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    That is probably the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Our olfactory senses are the strongest and most memory inducing, which I’m sure you experience every time you get a whiff of hand sanitizer like I do. I love that she depended on that, and I love that you obliged her for the rest of her elementary years. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      February 21, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Oh the hand sanitizer. That and the monitors beeping, either one sends me tumbling backwards.

      Reply
  17. Nana says

    February 20, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    I remember sometime after I had my third child, I stopped finding time to do my nails. One day, a very young child #2 said “mommy, those don’t even look like your hands”. All the bottles of forgotten nail polish came back out and were put into use…you never know what’s important to those little memories.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      February 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      Really? How funny that that is something he remembered. And you stopped polishing your nails? I don’t ever remember that happening.

      Reply
  18. Julie says

    February 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Sticky notes are the best way not to forget the important things! I’ve done for decades, and it really works. Although I have got a smartphone, I only use the handwritten post-it tags on the fridge.

    Reply
  19. Practical Parenting says

    February 20, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    also?? That picture is beautiful! xoxo

    Reply
  20. Practical Parenting says

    February 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    Oh, my friend…this memory is beautiful. That your scented helped her through the day?? Tears. It’s just beautiful. And yes, we need to write this down.

    Congrats on such a great honor…voting!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      February 21, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Thank you Katie! xo

      Reply
  21. Jennifer says

    February 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    Oh that is the sweetest thing ever. Even better than the kissing hand.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      February 21, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Hmm, wonder if I can get a book deal out of it :).

      Reply
  22. Tonya says

    February 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    So very true. Our memory bank only holds so much.

    I live for that scent too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  23. christine says

    February 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Lovely memory (so glad it came back to you) and so true about thinking you will remember it all… and then not.

    Reply
  24. Jayme says

    February 20, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    I have to confess that I never kept up with Paige’s baby book and it just breaks my heart now. I am so thankful that I blog now so that I will have something to look back at some day. I even need to get better about writing about all of the fun stuff that we do. I need to keep a notebook with me at all times.

    I just love this story. It is so sweet. Paige just asked to get her hair cut like mine because she wanted to look like me. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  25. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms says

    February 20, 2012 at 9:42 am

    We just think we are going to remember everything forever because we are so immersed in motherhood. But, oh the fog. Beautiful post. Ellen

    Reply
  26. Shell says

    February 20, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Ah, I remember that scent!

    Reply
  27. Kristin @ What She Said says

    February 20, 2012 at 9:29 am

    The mind of a child never ceases to amaze me. They way they look at life, the things they see… it’s all so heartbreakingly raw.

    This was such a beautiful memory, Jessica. And memories like these are EXACTLY why I blog.

    Reply
  28. Dr. G says

    February 20, 2012 at 9:20 am

    That is amazing. Her ability to count on you, and to tell you about it. She said – you matter, I need you. The details might blur but the message won’t ever. Your writing really inspires me!

    Reply
  29. Heather says

    February 20, 2012 at 9:16 am

    So true. I wish I could say I’ve kept up with my youngest child’s baby book (he’s my fourth) but I haven’t, and his first teeth and first steps may not be recorded. I haven’t been blogging long/much so I may need to troll through old Facebook posts to find these milestones.

    Reply
  30. Jennifer says

    February 20, 2012 at 9:08 am

    This is so true and beautiful. The detailed journal I kept with my oldest child became one liners with my second child and barely anything with my third. This is a great reminder to just write a little something every day. And even more reason to blog!

    Reply
  31. Kimberly says

    February 20, 2012 at 8:24 am

    This is so precious.
    I worry about this a lot. My grandpa had alzhimer’s disease when I was 7…it rocked my world. I went from being the center of his world to a stranger. I vowed that I would never forget memories and I wrote in journals to remember.
    Our kids grow so fast that memories zip in and out faster than we can process them. But I’m glad that we can dust them off ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  32. Jackie says

    February 20, 2012 at 8:19 am

    Mommy brain…. I like that.

    I’m terrible about keeping up with baby books and all the little things that my kids have done. Terrible… that is one of the reasons that I like pictures so much, they help me remember special moments in our lives.

    Reply
  33. Mrs.Batista says

    February 20, 2012 at 7:48 am

    I have learn a lot of thing in social media, Inspired by different blog… And this month I am planning to create an essential ideas that most of all love too such like this beautiful one…

    Reply
  34. Elena says

    February 20, 2012 at 7:46 am

    That is such a great memory. So glad you remembered it. This is so true – I need to remember that and get back to writing more about our life.

    Reply
  35. Jamie says

    February 19, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    That is heartbreaking and heartmending all at the same time!

    I have a day-keeper thingy. No year is attached to it but each day/month has a space. When something happens I write it down with the year next to it. Kind of like a journal. I love it!

    Reply
  36. Rach (DonutsMama) says

    February 19, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    Love that story. I do write down some of the things Donut does, but I need to do it more often.

    Reply
  37. Rachael says

    February 19, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    This is why I created a category on my blog just for conversations with my kids… those little things that make me laugh and I always want to remember.

    Reply
  38. Kimberly says

    February 19, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    What a sweet memory. I try so hard to write thi gs down so that I don’t forget. Social media and blogging make it much easier.

    Reply
  39. Not a Perfect Mom says

    February 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    oooh, I love this…
    and my heart just broke for her…what a sweet sweet girl

    Reply
  40. Galit Breen says

    February 19, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Beautiful. Stunning, really.

    Reply
  41. C @ Kid Things says

    February 19, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    This. This is exactly why I write our little stories. Because I want my kids to remember, and I hope to never forget.

    Reply
  42. Lanie says

    February 19, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    I love the lotion story – thank you for sharing. Thank you also for giving another reason to blog – because sometimes I do have trouble writing.

    Congratulations on the top 25 – I will go figure out how to vote! Take care.

    Reply
  43. Ryan says

    February 19, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Congrats on your nomination! Of course I voted for you. IMMEDIATELY.

    Reply
  44. Cheryl @ Mommypants says

    February 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    What a sweet memory, Jessica. And it is so interesting what our kids remember, too.

    Reply
  45. Alexandra says

    February 19, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    Oh, so very true.

    I have kept calendars since the first one was brought home…just an 2×2 squ space where I jotted what we did,ate/was said.

    The memories that flood back and when they read it: these scribblings became their memories, too.

    Lovely post.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      February 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

      Ooh, I love that idea, such a quick way to hold onto the memories.

      Reply

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