By Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

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You are here: Home / Grief / Bean Stalks and the Easter Bunny

Bean Stalks and the Easter Bunny

By Jessica

We discuss the Easter Bunny and whether he flies like Santa or just hops for transportation.

Her sleepy voice comes alive to rattle off extravagant gifts the Easter Bunny should bring for her and each of her siblings.

And then she wonders about bean stalks.

If they can grow down or only up.

Of course they can grow any way she wants them to.

So she would like one for her sister.

Because if Hadley can just plant a purple bean in the clouds then she will climb down the stalk for our Easter egg hunt.

And she would like that.

flower girl

This photo was taken at my brother’s wedding, right after McKenna saw her first glimpse of a gorgeous new aunt in her wedding dress. McKenna is wearing my “Hadley necklace” and the blurred vision of her in the mirror with Parker’s reflection too? It is what I see every day. If I tilt my head and cloud my vision just enough.

Photo credit: Amy Carroll Photography

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40 Comments Filed Under: Grief


Comments

  1. Nana says

    April 22, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Somehow I missed this post until this morning. And I get the picture…every beautiful, painful detail. Love all of you.

    Reply
  2. Tonya says

    April 14, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    I love how Hadley is such a big part of your lives.

    I wish you had that beanstalk.

    Hugs to you.

    Always.

    Reply
  3. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger says

    April 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    I wish you had a beanstalk. And that photo is magic.

    Reply
  4. JDaniel4's Mom says

    April 6, 2012 at 9:32 am

    A purple beanstalk sounds like just the right color to climb down.

    Reply
  5. John says

    April 5, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Dammit – I nearly went a whole day without crying at work.

    Dammit.

    (beautiful)

    Reply
  6. Melanie says

    April 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Sweet, Jessica. Just so sweet.

    Hurray for beanstalks. :-))

    Reply
  7. Kimberly says

    April 5, 2012 at 6:13 am

    She is gorgeous through and through.

    Reply
  8. Tasha Faith says

    April 5, 2012 at 2:42 am

    This an awsome photo. Isn’t it great that they can just be so delighted with the smallest details.

    Found you on WW link up.

    Following you on google reader.

    Reply
  9. angela says

    April 4, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    I wish so much that McKenna’s concept could be a reality, that Hadley could be physically present the way she is always spiritually present.

    That picture is amazing, all three of them. xo

    Reply
  10. Lanie says

    April 4, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    I wish there was a purple bean stalk. Beautiful picture and post. xo

    Reply
  11. Natalie @MamaTrack says

    April 4, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Sometimes I read you and I’m sad. Sometimes I’m happy. I always want to hug my children after.

    This post? Makes me mad that you all can’t have her with you everyday. Life isn’t fair, is it?

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 9:23 pm

      It’s not fair Natalie, and honestly, I’ve been sort of stuck on that lately. Especially when my children bring it up, because she should be hunting for eggs with the rest of them.

      Reply
      • Natalie @MamaTrack says

        April 4, 2012 at 10:22 pm

        Yes, she should.

        I’d be stuck on it too. I don’t know how you couldn’t be.

        Reply
  12. Not a Perfect Mom says

    April 4, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    I just love her…
    I love how the littles are always thinking of Hadley…it’s so bittersweet…

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:53 pm

      I love, love, love that they think of her. McKenna talks of her so often that I KNOW she has a bond with her I will never fully understand. It is hard to swallow the lump in my throat and answer their questions but it is so nice to know they are keeping her memory alive too.

      Reply
  13. Jenni & Andy says

    April 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Of course bean stalks grow down. What a smart little girl. I’m going to keep that notion in my mind all week. I imagine it’ll come in handy… So glad you shared.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:56 pm

      Does it sound stalker-ish to say I feel so honored when you stop by? I absolutely adore your blog and am so glad for that first time you stopped by because it led me to your site. The strength and love you show in every post is inspiring. I know those bean stalks are stretching down to each of us this holiday weekend.

      Reply
  14. Julie says

    April 4, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    Such a beautiful photo of her! She looks like a little princess or a fairy. She must be super-cute while hunting on the easter-eggs!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:56 pm

      Oh she is adorable… although I may be biased ;).

      Reply
  15. Kimberly says

    April 4, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Her perspective is incredible. And that photo is just gorgeous!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:57 pm

      She always amazes me with her perspective. I just know they have a bond that words can’t explain and that is so comforting to me.

      Reply
  16. julie gardner says

    April 4, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    ______________________________________!!!!

    (This was my lame attempt to express that I’m speechless. And yet I still typed words anyway. See. Lame. But that picture. And your caption.)

    _______________________________________…..

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:58 pm

      Isn’t that picture amazing? When they got their wedding proofs I wanted to hold that photo up and yell “Does anyone else see this? Does anyone else see what this photo symbolizes? It is all of them. Together. Sigh.

      Reply
  17. Practical Parenting says

    April 4, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    Oh, Jess. This is beautiful. And of course that’s what you see…
    We need another phone date soon.
    Sending love.
    xoxo

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 9:00 pm

      We do, we REALLY do. DM me a good time for you.

      Reply
  18. MommaKiss says

    April 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    You seeing all three in that picture, well, it just chokes me up. Gorgeous girl.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 9:00 pm

      It chokes me up but I love it, I love that I can see all of them, the way it should be.

      Reply
  19. The Mommy Psychologist says

    April 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Love this pic! The look in her eyes is priceless.

    Reply
  20. Traci says

    April 4, 2012 at 11:12 am

    She may not be there to physically
    see but she will always be there

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 9:02 pm

      I know she will, and my kids remind me of this so often.

      Reply
  21. Charlotte says

    April 4, 2012 at 11:04 am

    It is so beautiful to catch glimpses into a child’s imagination. How sweet your children are and I absolutely adore that photo 🙂

    XOXO

    Reply
  22. Julia says

    April 4, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Gorgeous.

    Reply
  23. tracey says

    April 4, 2012 at 10:23 am

    That is a lovely, lovely photo…

    Reply
  24. Krista says

    April 4, 2012 at 9:25 am

    So beautiful. The girl. The moment. The post. All breathtaking.

    Reply
  25. Mark says

    April 4, 2012 at 9:15 am

    What a sweet girl you have there.
    m.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 9:04 pm

      I might be biased but I know :).

      Reply
  26. Sarah says

    April 4, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Oh wow! I love this so much!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      April 4, 2012 at 9:05 pm

      Thanks Sarah.

      Reply
  27. Galit Breen says

    April 4, 2012 at 9:04 am

    Stunning.

    Breath taking, really.

    Reply
  28. Jenn says

    April 4, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Awww… what a beautiful post, and picture. I love this so very much. I love that Hadley is such a part of your family.

    Reply

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