Early for pick-up, I land in the first space in the lot in view of the morning preschool room.
Handing a paper to blonde hair and pigtails, he moves over one seat for more markers, runs to settle in for story time and tilts his head that way that makes his hair cover one eyebrow.
He is the most active of the bunch, he kicks and flips, shouldering his sisters for space.
Three years, almost four, we spent nearly every meal, every nap, every bedtime story, together. I know the inhale of his morning, the teetering off the chair of his lunch and the bouncing into bed of his night. Sending him off to school seemed impossible.
Will he be tall like his dad? Sensitive surrounded by sisters? A momma’s boy? I can’t imagine him here, just yet.
I see him from twenty feet, maybe more, long legs and lanky arms, my eyes and his dad’s everything else.
Singing the goodbye song, stomping through notes, noodle necklace swinging from his chest, his head never searches the window.
There is so much time to think and I envision my first little boy. I dream of his ears, his toes, his first cry. Outside of me.
They are bounding through the door, he turns the corner on this, his last day of preschool. I marvel at the change this short year has made in my sensitive little man. Squeezing his hand to mine, I cover his cheek with kisses. He wipes them off, gallops away to hug his teacher goodbye and zips his schoolbag.
Outside of me.
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Beautiful and touching as always. You describe how fast childhood goes by so well. Bittersweet, isn’t it?
I cherish those hugs I can still get in the privacy of my own home. Outside my children are separate beings, unattainable.
Time runs fast. So, it is really nice to always have wonderful time to cherish with our kids because the times will come they will be apart with us.
It just goes so fast I want to store away the moments somewhere safe. I am struggling with the transitions although I know this is the way life is supposed to be – I just wish I could slow it down (except when they are in the middle of meltdowns. . .). Thank you for this post – as always you make me feel like I am not alone out here. xo
I feel the exact same way, slow it all down, except for the meltdowns, those can speed up a bit ;).
I love those moments when we look at them and marvel. They’re becoming entirely separate from us, and I both love and hate that.
Totally agree, it makes me feel like I’m doing my job right when they do so well independently but at the same time I hate to see them growing up and apart from me.
Oh goodness, Jessica. This tugs at my heartstrings. What a difference a year makes. Are they already going to kindergarten next year, or one more year of preschool?
One more year of preschool, thank goodness. Next year I will be a blubbering mess.
Beautiful words from the heart of a an even more beautiful mom. Each moment in life is precious and you can only experience them once and then its gone. Enjoy moment with your childrem make them memorable one after all they are gifts uniquely made for your and your spouse.
I love your blog very much! Parker is so cute in this photo! All your kids are beautiful!
Thanks so much!
Oh, this tugs at my heart. I don’t believe the school year is over already; how did our littles become so big so quickly?
I can completely relate. My son just graduated from his first year in preschool as well. It’s a bit surreal.
It is isn’t it? Amazing how much they change right before our eyes and we don’t even see it until we look backwards.
What a beautiful post. So full of love and tenderness.
I have four daughters and only one son. He is 15. As I read this, I thought back to my preschool son. I remember imagining what he would be, how he would change. And I wondered if he would still like me. So far so good. He’s a wonderful young man and he does still like me.
Thank you for this post that took me back to that precious time. Stopping by from SITS.
Oh I hope my son still likes me as a teen too. I have a daughter who is a teen now and one minute she likes me and the next she doesn’t. Maybe I can count on my boys to be a little more stable :). Thanks for stopping by.
I need time to slow down a little and give me time to catch up …
Me too!
This is so beautiful and I can very much relate. Sending my little guy to preschool this year was so hard, and he grew up so much in such a short amount of time. It’s so strange and amazing to be able to see them as babies and children all at once.
It all goes by to fast. My oldest just graduated preschool. I know I will be in tears a kindergarten drop off.
It’s so bittersweet watching them grow up… and away.
And that’s so how it is, isn’t it?
All of that heart – right outside of us.
Beautiful, you.
When I had my first baby, someone said to me “Isn’t it amazing to see your own heart, but it is outside of you?” It really touched me with how much it meant and how true it was. This post reminded me of that moment – and how as they grow further away from us our love remains as strong (and sometimes heavy to carry).
Oh how happy I am to be back in the blogosphere reading your amazing words!!
It’s so hard, yet so satisfying to see our children grow. To become the children they are meant to be. I think school makes it seem to go faster and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m not with them every minute of every day anymore which makes it feel like I’m missing out on some things!
So happy to see you here too. School does seem to make them grow up faster, it’s funny, I have two the same age one at school and one home this year and the one at school seems to have changed in ways that the one at home did not. He grew up a little each day he was away from home.
Last Friday, I watched my son promote to high school.
He turns 15 next week.
I can’t even write a post about it.
I just can’t.
So thank you for this.
You said exactly what’s in my heart.
Exactly.
Oh high school, such a big step. Congratulations to both of you and wishing you lots of luck and you cope with the fact that you can’t go with him (I may have wanted to walk the halls with Ashlyn each day when she started).
Beautiful. Beyond beautiful! Man I wish I had your ability to really reach down deep and find the words you pull up. They get me every time. I’m right there with you reading line after line. I can see him through the window. I can see him interacting with the kids. I see myself there with my own guy that is growing way too quickly.
Thank you Tayarra, the year went by so quickly and he has changed so much in his first year spending time away from me. I always wonder if my words do it justice so truly appreciate your comment.
I cant believe my little girl went through the 2nd grade so fast and so successful! !!!
Second grade IS big, congratulations!
That is just lovely, Jessica. It’s true… they grow up so fast. But it’s wonderful that you soak up each minute.
It’s amazing how quickly they get to that point, that point of being outside and learning to brave the BIG world, seemingly, on their own. It’s sad, but also a very happy time. I adore this post! So beautiful.
It is definitely bittersweet. I’m so proud of how well he has done this year though. My post for finishing preschool for good and heading to kindergarden will be a whole different blubbering story though :).
Outside of me…those 3 words sum it all up…beautiful!
Amazing how fast the time goes. He is turning into quite a handsome little man!
Thank you, I think so too but am a little biased :).
That is beautiful. The time really does go by so fast. It is special to see your kids come into their own though.
It is, I love seeing the person he has become this year.
A year (or two or three or more!) goes by so quickly, doesn’t it?
Yes! Seems like the school year just started and I was peeling him off of me as I left.