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Four Plus an Angel by Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

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The alphabet

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Your Daddy and I were discussing our earliest memories. Whether we remember anything of our childhood before we turned three.

Maybe a little, bits and pieces of days.

You are almost ready for three. To remember.

I wanted to give you one for the bank, from the year you were two.

——————-

Last weekend we drove up to your Nana and Papa’s cottage.

You were telling everyone to save their sleep for when we get there and your sister had to pee and your Daddy was talking in funny voices to make everyone not freak out.

Someone asked you to say your ABC’s and I honestly didn’t know what would happen next.

You never have a chance to finish a sentence, let alone the whole alphabet, without another voice jumping in to correct you or finish your words.

Maybe it was the sun setting or the lull after the last gas station sugar rush, but all was quiet as you began and still as you made it halfway through and hushed the rest of the way right to Z.

And then the van went crazy, Little Man. Your siblings tested the limits of carseats and seatbelts and Mommy and Daddy cheered and you clapped and yay-ed for yourself.

Your smile touched the corners of your eyes and filled the van and the road and my heart and the sunset.

When we pulled up at the cottage your sister ran to the house to announce your latest feat and you collected more cheers. More love.

——————

When you were born, into a busy household full of everyone who needed me right. this. minute. I worried about being enough for you.

Being able to give you all of me when you needed me most.

And now, as you head towards three, ready to make memories to remember, I simply want you to know how you are loved.

Everyone loves you with a you would think we just announced we were going to Disney World the first time you said your ABC’s kind of love.

You have all of us my rainbow baby. You’ve had all of us from the moment you arrived.

From A to Z and back again.

boy with mom and dad

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  5. John says

    Happy birthday — and yay for the alphabet, that’s quite the accomplishment 🙂

  8. Leslie @ The Bearded Iris says

    This melted my heart, Jessica. There is something so magical about siblings celebrating each other’s accomplishments. The beautiful way you captured this for his “bank” will be a memory he’ll treasure forever.

  9. Bethany says

    What a beautiful story! The picture at the end is so sweet. Happy birthday to your little boy!!

  11. Chrissy says

    Jessica,

    This is so beautiful…my heart is always hovering over my littlest…you have captured it so perfectly here:) I hope you had a wonderful day and a magical celebration! Xo

  12. Kimberly says

    Funny story for you…my 3 year old has such a hard time getting through the L M N O P part so he says h i j k may I have a P…
    Kids are hilarious.
    I hope that you tuck this memory away for her. I can’t recal much from those early days 🙂

    • Jessica says

      Oh my gosh that is so cute, way to skip the hard part. My daughter used to say H-I love Daddy X Y Z we forgot all about it until we saw it on an old video the other day. And now that she’s older, it’s so her, trying to charm her way out of doing the work.

  13. Charlotte says

    Jessica, I am always moved by your posts. This is no exception. What a beautiful memory you’ve captured and so sweet to see how much love exists within your family. Happy birthday to your adorable rainbow baby!

  15. Elena says

    Beautiful Happy Birthday for Sawyer! He’s such a doll…he just made me smile all soccer season long.

  18. Gretchen from Lifenut says

    Awww. Three. It’s such a special age. They are delightful, infuriating, and delightful again.

  22. Runnermom-jen says

    Oh my goodness…as if this post wasn’t beautiful enough, the picture brought tears to my eyes. Happy (almost) Birthday to your little man. 🙂

  24. Katy says

    I love it. And I love how much love their is in your family–hoping mine can rise to the occasion as well.

  25. Jessica says

    Sometimes we forget how big a moment can be – how large a feeling can be.

    “Your smile touched the corners of your eyes and filled the van and the road and my heart and the sunset.”

    That sentence reminded me. I felt like I was traveling with your family. Beautifully done.

  28. Megan (Best of Fates) says

    Yay – that’s so exciting! And what a beautiful memory and post.

  31. Kathy says

    Beautiful post. I love that you captured this for his “bank.”

    My rainbow baby will be three in September and captivates us all in so many ways.

    Thank you for sharing.