By Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

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The Rain

By Jessica

We decided on a morning hike, pulled t-shirts over mismatched pajamas and fastened shoes that sat unworn for days.

Raindrops began tapping at leaves high above our heads as we headed down the drive.

Waiting for the first to touch our noses, we wondered about umbrellas or turning back.

Adventurous eyes barreled ahead in search of walking sticks with Daddy, broken to the perfect height for each.

He dulled the edges and handed them over to wows and that’s mines, little feet already leading our way as if they knew the path.

We counted flower colors and days of the week, marched and skipped and marched again. Picked up and carried and put back down to barter over different walking sticks, and found pine cones hidden in folded hands.

The lake peaked through every cottage, dimpled with rain.

Sandals tangled with leaves as walking sticks were abandoned for “next time” leaving hands free to hold just in time to head back inside.

We followed the latest designated “leader” up the cottage steps,

never feeling a single rain drop.

girl by lake

—————–

 

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22 Comments Filed Under: Grief, Musings of Motherhood


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  1. Alyza says

    July 19, 2012 at 2:51 am

    Reading this post makes me miss the gentle rain drops and the calm and refreshing ambiance whenever the rain visits the place. I really love your blog. I should keep coming back for blog updates. It makes me learn and realize a lot of things particularly about life.

    Reply
  2. julie gardner says

    July 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Your writing is pure poetry.

    And in case I haven’t mentioned it in the past week, I love poetry.

    XO

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 9, 2012 at 9:24 pm

      Aww, thank you Julie. xo

      Reply
  3. Kelley says

    July 8, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Jessica, this was beautiful. I just read “Hadley’s story”. I DO NOT KNOW how it has been this long and I’ve never read it. My face is soaked. Soaked. I cannot even imagine. I know you miss her terribly every day. I work part-time at a cancer hospital right now. I’m working with a 14-month-old with a brain tumor. This baby is the only child of his parents. His parents tried for 7 1/2 years to have him and it is very, very, very likely this baby will not survive. My heart is crushed. This whole week they’ve been on my mind. It is incredibly sad. It is terrible that beautiful people like you and those parents have to deal with anything has horrific as this- that anyone would have to… Thanks for sharing your perspective with us. And your Hadley…and your other beautiful kids.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 9, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      I was just reading about your job and thinking about how incredibly difficult it must be to do what you do everyday. So glad that family has someone like you to support them. I can’t imagine losing my only child, my kids are truly what help me get out of bed every day.

      Reply
  4. anymommy says

    July 8, 2012 at 11:33 am

    A perfect summer day. Sometimes, you need a little rain.

    Reply
  5. Jenni & Andy says

    July 8, 2012 at 6:56 am

    This is lovely. And the SheKnows essay? Wow.

    Reply
  6. angela says

    July 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Just gorgeous, of course!

    Reply
  7. Jim says

    July 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    Hi Jessica! It is great to meet you. And thanks for dropping by my yesterday….even though THAT Mark guilted you into it!! lol
    I have tons of nieces and nephews and have seen the joys and the sorrows they give their parents. I look forward to your posts.
    Jim

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 9, 2012 at 9:28 pm

      Thanks so much for stopping by to say hello Jim and Mark did not guilt me into it. He is such a great guy that I knew you would be too. Hope you had a great birthday!

      Reply
  8. Jessica says

    July 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I always feel that I am there with your family – or maybe that it’s my family and you are describing what we are doing. Your writing is like a window; we can see directly through and have a clear picture. My favorite line: “Picked up and carried and put back down to barter over different walking sticks, and found pine cones hidden in folded hands.”

    Such lovely moments with small children. I don’t have any more hipsters – they all walk the whole time. Oh how I miss it.

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 9, 2012 at 9:30 pm

      I don’t know what I am going to do when I don’t have any more hipsters. I was just thinking the other day how much I love holding my little 3 year old still.

      Reply
  9. Jen says

    July 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    I love the picture you painted, I feel like I was there.

    Reply
  10. Corey Feldman says

    July 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    Beautifully written. Not a morning person, but I love early hikes with my kids.

    Reply
  11. Barbara says

    July 6, 2012 at 8:50 am

    I feel like I was hiking with you. Just beautiful!

    Reply
  12. Kimberly says

    July 6, 2012 at 8:10 am

    I love it that you even wrote about the debris getting caught up in your flip flops ๐Ÿ™‚
    Beautiful

    Reply
  13. Charlotte says

    July 5, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    Truly gorgeous, Jessica. You always paint such a beautiful picture with your words. And I’m so glad the weather held for your walk that day ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  14. Stacie says

    July 5, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    The hike sounds wonderful! The picture is gorgeous!

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 9, 2012 at 9:30 pm

      Thanks so much Stacie!

      Reply
  15. hena tayeb says

    July 5, 2012 at 10:41 am

    You write so beautifully.. i feel as though I was there..

    Reply
  16. Nichole says

    July 5, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Just beautiful, my friend.
    Thank you for sharing your story with SheKnows.
    I have no doubt that your story will help so many others.
    Much love…

    Reply
    • Jessica says

      July 5, 2012 at 10:53 am

      Thank you for handing it with such care and for giving me the opportunity. Much love to you..

      Reply

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